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TheMajorTechie


Oh, look at me... you've got me tearing up again. ◈ Forget about coffee buy me a cup noodle.

More Blog Posts2545

Oct
20th
2019

Techie's SPICY Smokin' Toasted Self-Roasted Reviews #18: [Equestria Forever]! · 8:16pm Oct 20th, 2019

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

...

...

*Looks again at the story*

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Hey, ya heckers, it's me again, ya boi with the toasty self-roasty reviews. We gon burn up Equestria Forever in a bit.

TEquestria Forever
In a world where nothing is left but war and fear, a precious handful of people, together with the few remaining ponies, strives to bring back the world they once knew...
TheMajorTechie · 7.6k words  ·  15  7 · 635 views

Hoo boy. Where to begin? Shall we start with the part about the fandom crumbling? Do we wanna talk about individual fans leaving over a period of time? The possibility that no next generation of MLP will ever come? The collapse of society and ruin of humanity as we know it? Nah, let's talk about it all at the same time! :pinkiecrazy:

Simple; the fandom has fallen. Equestria has fallen. Humanity has fallen.

What'd I tell ya?

it’s unseen backers, the ones who truly believe in it, --the fandom--, had been diminishing for quite the time. It was only when Equestria began fading from the imagination, when there was finally notice of what had happened. Slowly, ever so painfully, Equestria died, bringing with it the morales that may often be taken for granted…

Slowly, ever so painfully, Equestria died,

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I seemed to have a thing for making things happen slowly and painfully, didn't I? Heckin' masochist.

The remaining few, the diehards, were the last leg that withheld the integrity of Equestria.

Everything they did would heavily impact the possibility of the land being lost forever, taking it’s ideals with it.

They are Equestria’s, and possibly the Earth’s, final hope.

Society has begun it’s lumbering demise.

War has broken out, destroying many nations, and many more lives…

Humans have forgotten the ways of humanity, devolving into war-torn beasts, intent on nothing more than the ultimate destruction of their rivals.

The ponies-- the ever-friendly citizens of Equestria, gone.

Even the Mane Six hadn’t been able to stop the conflicts, for harmony was lost; destroyed.

If nothing is done, then the world is done for.

Hey look, MLP propaganda!

Equestria Forever

TheMajorTechie

The Oracle

Raistlin Majere

NicLove

FanWithoutAFace

Miku-Chan Hatsune/Celestia Lunaris/SunsetAppleTwi

Nightfall Gleam

Shadowboltwriter

Arrow Spear

Stepping back a little from the roasting, yeah, thanks for the help in writing this, guys. I understand if it might've been a hassle to get through really anything much, but I really did at the time think that this would become a story for the entire fandom. :P

The news was on. (In fact, it was the only program available, for all others were now forbidden by the government.) Nowadays, it rarely, if ever, held good news. War in one country, famine and sickness in another. It seemed like the society of Earth was slowly declining towards its unfortunate demise, and yet very few seemed to take notice, though if they did, they didn’t seem to care, too busy caught in the petty, useless battles between mankind.

Welp, guess we live in a dystopia now that Gen 4 is done and over with. Where's Big Brother when you need him? We got some doublethink to do here!

In fact, the last time people had united in friendship against hate and prejudice had been when the last generation of that supposed child’s show aired. What was it called?

Oh yes; My Little Pony, Friendship is Magic.

Hecccccccccccccccccccccc

Once again, and I repeat, this story probably served as the absolute peak of how deep into the fandom rabbithole I was in. I genuinely was entrenched in the show, and thought it was pretty much the best thing ever. This one story flipped that notion on its head, and since then I've kinda been reversing course. I do still like MLP, but I'm definitely only a casual fan now.

As one of the biggest influences over society, the fandom had been mainly balancing out evil, and occasionally changing the minds of a large group here and there. Now with the fandom fallen, there was now nothing to combat the hate and prejudice of the common man, who have since turned on each other, creating wars and sickness through horrifying methods.

Many peacekeeping organizations were destroyed in the first few days of the Third World War. Even large organizations such as Anonymous fell to the destruction of society, by the means of internal conflict.

Wait what? Heckin' what? I don't remember exactly who wrote what part, but I'm pretty sure that my own mindset was at the very least the guiding force of this entire story. Holy crap was I a misanthrope in this fic.

Even Hasbro, the original publisher of the series-- thus the founder of the fandom-- couldn’t stand to the chaos. Just a couple of years afterwards, its headquarters were utterly devastated by a series of various attacks.

Leave Hasbro out of this ya hecker. Mr. Potato head has a life too!

“Hey, I think I know how to save the world.”

Stop writing this story, that's how.

Equestria: 4 Years after initial attacks.

Twilight paced about inside the bunker, muttering to herself. Spike sat by a leaded window, warily watching for threats with a telescope.

Equestria had fallen years ago. The reason? Nopony knew. It was just a single day, and in that day, Equestria fell to anarchy. The once prospering nation devolved to a ruddy land of mixed clans, all warring for power. It was as if the world they knew had simply been pulled from under their hooves. The Elements were able to hold for a couple of years, before even they cracked.

You already know the caption.

“THIS UNIVERSE IS THE CONNECTING POINT BETWEEN THOSE UNIVERSES.”

“DON’T YOU GET IT?! WE’RE ALL DOOMED! DOOMED, I TELL YOU!

Sheesh, the drama this mare is spouting is enough to make a smoothie out of.

Tyrone returned to the table with a worn manilla envelope, with the title, “Pony.exe” hastily scribbled onto its face.

Oi, I remember contacting the author for that story asking for permission to reference it here.

It stinks like day old rotten mice in here… she thought as she glanced about the desolate wasteland.

That's... oddly specific, to say the least.

“Arrow 18 Mission Logs?”

I think I just straight-up namedropped this fic without contacting the author, so that happened I think. I'm not gonna bother going through three years' worth of PMs to check.

“Says who? For all I know, Twilight Sparkle or some random pony might just appear out of some random portal and knock on your door.”

Tyrone winced at the sarcasm, but stopped abruptly as he heard a knock on the door.

Tyrone picked up the phone, and quickly said, “Wait a sec, someone’s at the door.”

He cautiously looked out the window, and at first, saw nothing. That is, until he looked down.

Grabbing the phone from the table, Tyrone quickly shouted into the phone, “Come quick, Trev, you’ve got to see this…”

He slammed the phone back down on the table, and rushed to the door to allow a very dusty Twilight Sparkle to trot in.

Guess what?

“Several years ago, the show that linked our universes ended for the last time, setting your universe free from the script writers. With that, everything in your universe became independent, no longer adhering to the ‘for children’ idea, and with that, it began to fall apart. Crime began to rise, morality was traded for greed. Our universe, on the other hand, took a nosedive for the worse. First of all, North Korea launched a nuclear missile in its supposed ‘self defense’ from the United states, causing a sudden surge in weapons production. Soon after, ISIS began to spread even further, aggressively destroying anything in its path. Soon, all this evolved into full-scale world war, kickstarting the third ever of the such. In this world, humanity has forgotten the one thing that’s made it human in the first place…”

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THE CRINGE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

But HO-LY CRAP IS THAT A LOT OF BAD STUFF TO CRAM INTO A SINGLE PARAGRAPH. Was I really that negative in my outlook of humanity to reasonably say that all that stuff could potentially happen? Freakin' misanthropic thoughts, I'ma tell ya. No wonder why this story is still probably one of my biggest regrets on the site. Still keeping it up though for no good or bad reason. :P

Actually, it’s the other way around. The reason why the show was cancelled was because its owner, Hasbro, was taken down by several acts of terror that targeted the ‘non-believer’s propaganda of the west’.”

Can you guess who wrote the stories mentioned in this chapter???

Oh, I'm sure none of them were ever widely read on the site when they were still active, riiiiight?

“With the power out, you’d need a person to open that door. Someone who’d be crazy enough to live in a freakin’ library, of all things.”

Trevin made a face, followed by Twilight with a scowl of her own.

“Kevin?” He asked flatly, thinking back to the times when the burly-haired teen sat in the corner for hours with his face in manga novels. He never really like the boy, considering how the two of them were often confused for one another in class.

We've got a Trevin and a Kevin. We need a Kyle to complete the bro trinity!

“But for now, the greenhouse isn’t entirely ready yet. I still have to punch a hole through the library’s roof to let some light in.”

*Insert Kyle joke here*

The group continued their chatter, not noticing the door as it slowly creaked open, allowing for a green-hooded figure to slip inside.

Uh-oh, spaghetti-o!

To my surprise, I saw people. And not only that, but there was a full-sized greenhouse in the back room, and… Twilight Sparkle?

🤔

Hmm, it seems like just about everybody in this story is familiar with MLP! I wonder why...

“One more thing, why is a fuckin’ pony here?!”

Hol up boios, we got an f-bomb here. PINKIEEEEEE!

*Retroactive timey-wimey hoof-on-face slap noise*

No swearing!

Kevin leaned in towards Trevin.

“Woah, that’s deep.” he whispered, earning a quick smack to the face.

“Shut up, Kevin.”

Kevin leaned back.

“But still... deep.”

Another smack.

Slap 'em all back into reality.

She winced again as Trevin poured a cold water bottle over the wound to rinse off any remaining dirt. He then dug through the first-aid box, and pulled out a roll of gauze.

Where'd the water bottle come from? It's not like they'd be hoarded during an apocalyptic event, right?

My knee’s also stinging a lot less now, thanks to Trev and whatever the hell that was that he smothered my knee with… At least it doesn’t look so gross anymore. He also went ahead and wrapped it up in some gauze, but I can still see some blood seeping through.

Excuse me, but around here, we switch out those two Ls with Cs and throw in another hecc to go with it.

But yeah I'm genuinely uncomfortable writing swear words in my stories. I'm perfectly fine with reading or hearing them, but I don't like using them myself. Writing Equestria Forever only proved that even more.

Small berries, flowers, she even ate grass during the hardest times.

Excellent. She is becoming one with the horse.

“Eh, I’ve tasted better, but it sure beats dandelion salad.”

Trevin’s eyes widened. He barfed a little in his mouth, too.

Noticing his face turning green, Elise giggled.

“It’s actually not all that bad. You should try it sometime.”

Yup. Becoming one with the horse. Though, I do remember hearing that dandelion greens are actually edible. Don't remember where I heard it, but I'm not gonna try anyways.

“Wait, wait… so you’re saying that you’ve both eaten dandelions… in a salad.”

Elise shrugged. “It’s better than chewing sticks, okay?”

Twilight continued from where Elise ended.

“And besides, it’s tangy, too! You should try it sometime!”

Ok.

Here's the sixth chapter. After the eleventh chapter, it'll all come to an end... and quite literally a new beginning.

Oh gosh what did I have planned for beyond the eleventh chapter if I gave up on the seventh?

While our intrepid humans, backed by Twilight are busy trying to save the world, the mane 5 plus spike are fighting for their lives back in Equestria.

Somehow, intruders (Midnight Talons) have breached through part of the wall and are pouring through the breach and all ponies must fight to survive, I think maybe we can afford to kill off a couple of background characters, (not gory or anything) (need to figure how the breach occured.)

As the chapter concludes, things fade away and one of the mane 5’s last thought is of Twilight abandoning them. (Like different time zones, an hour in Earth is like a day in Equestria, so Twilight’s been gone for a few days and the others have begun losing hope.)

Partially. Sombra's taken a large portion of it.

Sombra's holding Shining Armor for ransom.

Sombra, who's being backed by a cult.

Cadence is in a separate base in the crystal empire, but Celestia and Luna are missing.
Applebloom made it, Derpy, and Lyra. Bon Bon, AKA Secret Agent Sweetie Drops, is MIA.

Did I really leave my planning notes in the chapter itself? Nowadays I either keep them in a separate document or save them in the author's notes box here on Fimfic before deleting them when I'm done writing.

“Fluttershy, how’s that army coming?”

Fluttershy saluted timidly, her eyes darting between her animal friends.

Don't you drag Fluttershy into this.

Midnight Talons…” He thought, “What are they doing here? They mostly stay where the old Griffon Empire was.

Well whoop-de-doo, guess where they are now?

Typical… she thought, grinning proudly to herself, birds afraid of the fire.

Might I introduce you to... the fried chicken dealer?


Looking back, I swear I remember writing something about exchanging gunfire at some point or another. Guess that was all in my head. Either way, the momentum of the story as a collab was rapidly dying out past the first few chapters, and I distinctly remember that the last published chapter was written entirely by myself. I've come a looooong way from this sorta writing, and even this mentality. Heck, the stories I've got now are tremendously more upbeat and positive than this one, even the more serious ones that allude to global issues!

But yeah, I'm pretty sure that I'm not ever gonna be writing something like this again.

Comments ( 2 )

While reading this review I was just wondering one thing; whatever happened to Pokemon, Digimon, CoD, RWBY, Red VS Blue, Adventure Time, Regular Show, Memes, Marvel Comics, DC Comics, Disney, Warner Brothers, Rooster Teeth, YouTube, [Censored], Steam, Nintendo, Sega, Google, and literally anything else that provides entertainment to our simple minds?

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