Techie's SPICY Smokin' Toasted Self-Roasted Reviews #44: [Pony-Me™: Rogue]! · 9:12am Jan 2nd, 2020
Yeah, I almost forgot I was doing these too!
Meet the edgy little edgelord stepsibling of Pony-Me that was quite literally yeeted out of the chapters of Pony-Me after it got too edgy for its own good.
Short to say, I'm glad I decided to separate these chapters from the original story and dump 'em into a separate fic.
Anyway, let's get started! First wacko weird as heck review of 201920!
"Good. You're awake."
I can see a meeeeeeme!
Lisa groaned, falling back onto her pillow. "And I should've ramped up whatever value it is that you've got controlling your social skills."
Twilight's voice went silent for a moment, the mare at a loss for words.
Twily just got roasted by herself.
"NOT. GO...OD..." Twilight shouted through Lisa, "F...I-- PIN-K--"
Lisa's eyes rolled back as she suddenly collapsed to the ground.
Oh boy, gotta love sudden unconsciousness! Do you like to suddenly unconscious? Lisa here sure seems to, 'cause she just did it!
A light click sound emanated from the phone as Lisa pressed the power button. The two watched in silence as the device came to life.
"It... it still works?" Timothy mumbled, staring at the screen in Lisa's hands.
When the Nokia brick lasts beyond simply the future.
Samantha turned for a moment, checking on the boy for a moment before turning back to Lisa. She glanced down at the technical paper propped up against her bag, then back at Lisa. With a sigh, she set down the scalpel and rolled her friend over onto a pillow.
This could be the start of a badly-made horror movie.
Lisa glanced down at her hand, picking up the chip in her fingers. "Wait..." she sputtered, staring at the tiny device, "This... Twilight..." She looked back up at Samantha. "My project." Lisa stated, "This was my project. Since when was it finished?"
"Lisa, it's been over a decade now."
Oopsies!
"Wait, since when did you have a car?!"
*ka-chow noises intensify*
"It looks so... abandoned." Lisa frowned, staring at the thick layer of dust masking the windows. "Did something happen while I was in the simulation?"
Click.
...BOOM!
Lisa rolled her eyes. "Fine, whatever." she spat, "Either way, it was my project in the first place, and you took it from me."
This is the Lisa that I gave the boot from Pony-Me. It took a part of her personality I wrote into her backstory and brought it into the present with extra strength. It's still hangin' around in the main story, but it's much more muted and more or less remains in her backstory instead.
Samantha spun around again, seething through her teeth. "What happened to not arguing?"
Lisa shrugged, a sly smirk spreading across her face. "I lied."
Like, seriously, if I continued on with writing these chapter in the original Pony-Me instead of spinning them off and later killing them, then we'd have a very different story on our hands. Don't mind the upcoming twist btw.
"Wait... wait, those aren't Twilight's memories..." Samantha mumbled, her eyes flitting through the troves of information scrolling past her friend's vision. She straightened in her seat, pointing an accusing finger at the monitors. "That's--"
"Interesting." Lisa cut in, "It is very interesting information, and very useful information." She spun around in the chair to face Samantha. "As I mentioned before, I have full reason to believe that Twilight took my memories with her when you removed the chip."
🤔
"No, I'm Twilight!" Lisa yelled. Her hands flew over her mouth as she gasped. "I... I mean--"
"Exactly." Samantha cut in, grabbing her friend by the wrist. "You're Twilight. Now tell me, where's my friend?"
Lisa's vicious smirk returned as she placed her own hand over Samantha's. "Touché, Sam. I was just about to ask the same about mine."
"We threw her out the door 'cause she kept scratching up the floor! Get those darn rollerskates out!"
"Twilight, I heard everything from across the hall. You're not the Twilight I know," Timothy shuddered, "not anymore."
Those words came directly from me.
Lisa growled, her hands balling into fists on the desk. "See," she began, "that is why I ultimately decided to commandeer your friend's body. You humans have no faith in your own creations. Here I am, communicating with you about my desire to explore the world, and what do you say in response? You want to reprogram me, don't you?"
When you almost accidentally turn your (mostly) family-friendly story about virtual ponies into a story about a robot uprising.
She leaned back in her chair with a frown, glancing to the other carrying case in the room:
The one containing Pinkie Pie.
🎶Unleash the magic🎶
My own reality. Lisa smiled to herself. This is what I wanted.
That moment when you spill the beans on what was planned to be the title of your original fiction
"Anyways," she continued under her breath, "I... we will be put back into the simulation as a single entity. Samantha will tell Argall to try and convince Twilight to reconnect as well, and from there, we can..." she trailed off, her mane deflating even further. "We can end Twilight."
Oops~
"Excuse me, are you patronizing me? Do you dare to patronize me?!"
"Listen, ma'am, I'm sorry for any misunderstanding, but--"
"Away with you!"
This Twilight is a complete and utter jerk and I hate that.
"It's called electricity, Twilight," Samantha groaned, "I thought Equestria had that already."
"Psh. Equestria is primitive. The electrical systems we use are nowhere close to the mobility given by these carriages."
Honestly, if I ever write Prince Blueblood for some reason without any plans to reform or redeem him, I'd use this exact voice.
"Twilight," Samantha whispered fiercely, "at least try to be nice to people around you. What happened to the whole Friendship Is Magic thing that went on in Equestria?"
Twilight snorted. "I'm not in Equestria anymore, am I? No. I am not, so I follow my own rules."
My Little Pony: Friendship is no longer magic(?)
Lisa watched as the mare dug into her mane, pulling out her signature party cannon.
"It's not actually there, so to say," Pinkie continued, setting the cannon on the blank floor, "but making it look like it's coming out of something probably won't make everypony else freak out."
"So... you're basically just triggering item generation with your thoughts."
Pinkie nodded. "Though, it took a bit of... well, permission breaking for me to be able to do this. Not sure about you though, since you aren't like me."
This sounds 0% like Pinkie and a lot more like Twilight.
Samantha shrugged, stifling a smile. "Anyways," she continued, confidence growing within her, "it's never too late to return to your friends, Twilight. Sure, there may still be much to learn, but I promise you, if you wish to return to Equestria by your own will, that I will personally deliver you an unfiltered, endless supply of as many books as you want."
Twilight's eyes widened for a moment. She glanced again at the monitor, then to Samantha, unsure of whether to trust the offer or not.
"Well?"
And then I killed the story right there. The end.
Imma finish it
Twily went bac too Eqestri, git got al boks, an livd hapy evr aftr