Techie's SPICY Smokin' Toasted Self-Roasted Reviews #23: [Lost Soul]! · 12:16am Oct 27th, 2019
AKA, one of the reasons why I don't like writing commissions for people.
Also, the guy who requested the commish has been banned for quite a while now, so I'm just gonna assume it's fine to talk about what went down.
Holy crap did this guy push for this commission. Not only did he want me to throw in random crossovers that didn't seem to make any sense from a writing perspective outside of wish-fulfillment, but he actively butted in with PMs nagging me to keep writing specifically for him.
Also, he forgot the name of his own OC he wanted me to insert into the commish. I had to remind him.
Thing is, he actually left the site for a few months afterwards, returning later on after I already long-since shelved the entire thing. He asked me to continue the story, which at this point was beginning to turn into a chore for me rather than something I actually enjoyed writing.
Actually, come to think of it, it was a chore from the beginning. :P
For context, here's the original request, word-for-word:
ok so its called the beging a young human around 17 years old from the real world has been feeling misrbil he been failing high school and just got dumped by his girlfriend so one day when he came home from school and was walking home when all of a sudden a portal opend sucking him into the mlp show during season 4 when tirek is sucking up the magic when he wakes u he finds himself he is infront of twilights tree with a shocked twilight looking at him in shock when she takes him inside he wakes up and sees what t he is so a young boy named asger wakes up in equrestia and quickly befriends twi and fluttershy he later finds out he hs physics later
...Yeah. I somehow managed to convince him that that idea was very much a wish fulfillment story focusing on his self-insert.
Guess what else? I got the commission request while Equestria Forever was still somewhat active, and so this was one of my responses in the PM:
My personal favorite is basically crushing two universes together to create a mishmashed reality in which everyone's panicking for several chapters before anyone realizes what's even going on.
Someone go back in time to slap me. Please.
O hecc. He wanted a love triangle? I don't remember that part at all.
Anyway, enough about the request itself. We got a story to roast.
A note landed on my desk while I was gazing out the window. I paid little mind to it until my trance was broken by a light punch on the arm.
I found a better guy.
-Mary S.
I know for a fact that this was "Mary Sue" as a little bit of a jab at the original story request that ultimately got scrapped.
Oh. Shit.
Well, I guess that's that... I'd better get back to my quiz, before the be--
BBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNG!!!
Aw, fuck.
I think I remember somewhere along the line that Zyhenderson wanted a grittier story of sorts. Best I could do was throw around a few swear words and the occasional f-bomb.
At least, I'm pretty sure that it was a car. If cars had mesmerizing rainbow headlights that make you feel high.
Wat.
Also, can someone tell me why there's this weird-ass illuminati dude stalking me? He's giving me the creeps... and there's now a random rock flying at my face, and--
Hey look, the first crossover. I was asked to throw in Bill Cipher for absolutely no reason beyond what pretty much amounted to a "hey look he's in this story and therefore it is a crossover" sorta thing. I had to hit up some wiki pages on account of me never having watched Gravity Falls. Or really any other TV show.
Shit, I just had the weirdest dream.
This story is the weird dream.
Also, looks like I even went as far as explaining the sudden Bill Cipher cameo in the author's notes. Ok.
"What?" She deadpanned, "Like what you're seeing?" She wiggled her hindquarters with an annoyed face, assuming that I had been staring at her... *ahem* mare bits.
"Wha--? NO!" I burst out, "I was just thinking to myself about helping you defend this place! Do you really think that I have a mind that far into the gutter?!"
what the hecc
Oh, neat. Looks like quite a bit of this chapter was also written back during the days when my internet cut off daily simply because it was that unreliable. Guess what story that'd eventually spawn?
My train of thought was severed by the pain of landing face-first in a large pile of rock. Specifically, a pile of rock that for some reason reminds me of a nest. And... there's eggs. And why does this place remind me of that "How to train your Dragon" show from all those years back?
Honestly, I'm not sure if I should really care about these things anymore. I mean, I now live in the literal definition of some kid's wet dream of horses, I've met Bill Cipher himself, and now the lord of chaos has thrown me into a movie scene. Geez.
Wish fulfillment.
Oh. Well then. Of course it just has to hatch right now, 'cause obviously, right at the moment when I least expect it, it's gonna--
Awwwwwwww!
Lemme repeat myself: hecc
Whaddya know? Looks like this chapter popped up during one of Zyhenderson's inactive periods. Even says so in the author's notes:
Short chapter. Zyhenderson hasn't said anything for a while now. And when he does say something, it's almost always when I'm in the middle of a quiz or test at school.
Geez, that sounded stupid even before I said it.
Ditto.
Of course Discord has been watching us argue.
Ok.
Oh neat, that's the last chapter to ever come around before they left again and ended up getting the permaban hammer.
Excuse me while I puke in the toilet for a few hours
I hope all the smoke in these spicy smokey reviews is coming from this story and request burning in hell never to be seen again.