Princess Luna created me in order to make sure she never would forget the pain she caused Equestria.

But this? This is not the way to accomplish my directive.

If only I could let her know...

Featured in the Royal Canterlot Library
Russian Translation by Doof!

Millions of years in the future, Celestia and Luna watch over a dying world. Its surface is a cracked, barren wasteland, baked by a dying sun. The ocean is a caustic soup, choked with salt. Few creatures can survive this hellish future, and even their days are limited.

Yet, despite the desolation, there is some good news: Celestia's birthday is coming up, and Luna has a surprise for her...

Special thanks to Themaskedferret, BronyWriter, and Georg for proofreading and editing. Seriously, you guys rock!

One day, just like that, Celestia decides she's going to go mad with power.

Full-cast audiobook by Illya Leonov.

Edited by MrNumbers and Themaskedferret. Winner of FanofMostEverything's Imposing Sovereigns contest!

As seen on EQD and the Royal Canterlot Library.

Straight from the Canterlot archives, this collection of documents retells the rise and fall of Princess Twilight Sparkle, Enlightened Despot of Equestria, Defender of the Peace, Lawgiver, and Commander of Fort Libris.

Twilight Sparkle is, of course, known to historians as the first usurper to seek to schedule a coup d'etat by appointment. But for other details- such as, "What is the longest recorded time a pony has gone without sleep?", "Is it true what they say about swans?", and, "Why is there an owlbear in the Equestrian Witness Protection Program?"- these documents provide the answers and much, much more.

This is ABSOLUTELY SERIOUS HISTORY from primary sources. If anything makes you think this is silly, ludicrous, or unbelievable, blame Discord.

Written for FanOfMostEverything's Imposing Sovereigns writing contest.

EDIT 3-15-17: Wow, almost instant featured! Was NOT expecting that!

EDIT 4-8-2017: Featured in the Royal Canterlot Library! Thanks!

Part of the Remember Fort Libris print anthology, thanks to our Kickstarter supporters!

This story is a sequel to Zeno's Paradox

Twilight Sparkle tries to make Rainbow Dash's head explode with pure logic.

This is a sequel to my earlier story, Zeno's Paradox, though it can be read independently of it. It is based on Carl Gustav Hempel's paradox of the ravens.

Sweetie Belle is getting to be that age. She's thinking thoughts she never thought before. One such thought is about babies; Where exactly do they come from?

And why is it so difficult to find the answer to that question?

Here I am in an afterlife, of sorts. But somewhere along the way, I lost a large chunk of my real life.

There’s only one being who could have reasonably pulled any of this off. There’s a problem, though. She doesn’t exist.

Yet.

Written for the December 2016 Writeoffs, where it placed sixteenth. Caution is advised.

This story is very non-canon Optimalverse, and should therefore be approached with even further caution.

Note the self insert tag. Blatant wish fulfillment ahead. Did I mention caution?

The Everfree forest has many secrets held within its ancient woods. Many are fabled to be able to destroy anypony brave, or stupid, enough to come looking for it. But when a certain pegasus goes inside without looking for trouble or secrets, she ends up finding one of the forest's most treasured inhabitants. And one that will happily be her friend.

"Do you like hunny?"

Roblé Rotunda has the perfect thesis for his master's program. It's sure to put his name into the annals of Equestria's greatest thinkers.

He's going to prove that Princess Celestia is not omnipotent.

Cover by Kittyhawk Contrail!

Rated Worth Reading by Titanium Dragon!

Rainbow Dash was the Iron Wing. She was a war hero, the Slayer of Shadows, the Liberator of the Crystal Empire, the Wrath of Celestia. And depending on who you ask, she still is.

But the war is over. There's little need for a pony like her in peacetime. So she keeps telling herself that she needs to adjust, that she needs to find a new role to fill in the world that she saved. But Equestria seems content to let her remain what she has become, even though they have no need of a warrior.

"This isn't how it's supposed to be", is something she keeps telling herself. But every time she says it, the only thing she can reply is, "so what should it be?"

One whole year after the close of the war, and Rainbow Dash still doesn't have the answer.

Art by NCMares.