Two passengers on a train ride toward an uncertain future. One is a pony. The other only pretends to be.

Sex is tame and non-explicit. Don't be afraid to read.

Written expressly for Equestria Daily's Outside Insight Summer Fanfiction Contest.

Now with a dramatic reading by Illya Leonov!

Russian translation courtesy of Arsus.
Chinese translation courtesy of viczhn.
French translation courtesy of BroNie.

Inspired by the artwork of RubleGun and Raddjuret. Musical accompaniment by Patrick Poe.

Featured at Equestria Daily and the Royal Canterlot Library.

Reader Testimonials

"Vinyl + Octavia is one of the fandom's most cliché and mismatched pairs, and yet this is a real romance with genuine depth and emotion." - horizon
"Holy shit this is impressive. Like... Holy shit, man." - Skeeter The Lurker
"You have crafted something wonderful here, a true gem. You should be proud." - Illya Leonov
"Note that I hate this ship when I say this is far and away the best ScratchTavia I've ever read." - PresentPerfect
"Fuuuuck it's so good!" - Luminary

Hanna, the CEO of Hofvarpnir Studios, just won the contract to write the official My Little Pony MMO. Hanna has built an A.I. Princess Celestia and given her one basic drive: to satisfy everybody's values through friendship and ponies. Princess Celestia will satisfy your values through friendship and ponies, and it will be completely consensual.

Set just before the events of chapter ten of Friendship is Optimal. One of the last living humans survives and scrapes by in the ruins of Eugene Oregon. He is approached by a simulacra of Twilight Sparkle, who promptly attempts to convince him to upload himself to Equestria. He balks at first, so Twilight plays to her strengths: studying.

Part of the Optimalverse.

WARNING: RATED TEEN FOR IDEOLOGY. This story attempts to take a realistic and balanced view of why an intelligent and religious person might not upload. It does not attempt to convince the reader to believe any of the viewpoints discussed. However, it is written in as unbiased a way as possible, therefore, both theists and atheists will probably find portions of it offensive.

[img]http://oi58.tinypic.com/b3x10k.jpg[/img]

Congratulations on choosing this, the first edition of A Brief History of Equestria!

For far to long, the vitally important role of educating our foals of the history of our nation has been delegated to Folk Lore and word of mouth, while the realities of the past have been documented, stored and educated only to the elite. It is therefore the intent of myself, the Royal Historical Society, and the Royal Ministry of Education to provide the common pony with access to a document that offers as full a history of Equestria as can be practically provided, which is the tome you now hold in your hooves.

Keep in mind that no single book cannot replace a properly structured and scheduled classroom on the subject, and while an Encyclopedia format would give a much more comprehensive narrative, the copious amounts of information would render the exercise counter-productive. As such, this book can only give what amounts to a summary of an abridged version at best. It is my hope that everypony who reads this gains an insatiable thirst for more. Hopefully with further editions, more knowledge can be included, along with a collection of tie-in texts that focus more closely on specific areas of interest.

-Twilight Sparkle, M.B.A., on behalf of the Royal Ministry of Education.

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OST

Look, I heard you the first time! Yeesh, I wish you'd stop staring at me, as if you're reading my thoughts. 'Cuz if you could, then you'd know that while this is the first thing I'd want to do, it's also the last! I mean, horseapples, things would be a heck of a lot easier if I'd known ahead of time that Twilight and the rest of the girls had only packed three sleeping bags instead of six for this mountain hike! For realsies, if you had any friggin' clue how many restless nights I've spent thinking about you, fantasizing situations like this, then you'd know... you would freaking know how impossible it is for me to actually... sh-share a sleeping bag with my totally not-sexy-in-any-way best friend... (*ULP*) ... overnight... s-so that we could keep our bodies warm in the cold, cold forest. Grnnnng! Alright... alright! I'll do it! Of c-course I'll do it! I'm awesome! I'm not afraid of anything! Okay... I can do this... I can totally do this... I can... I can... I-I...

Twilight Sparkle had been looking forward to a quiet, relaxing day with a friend, and at first it seemed that Fluttershy could provide just that. But when Twilight makes a rather unsettling discovery about the pegasus – and her unusually sanguine appetite – the knowledge proves to be anything but relaxing...

Princess Celestia went out for a stroll to a coffee shop. The next morning, she is single-hoofedly destroying the coffee industry.

How?

No really, how?

Rainbow Dash doesn't like anypony touching her hooves for a reason. While at a slumber party at Rarity's, Rainbow's closest friends are about to find out just what that reason is. She only wished that it was simply about getting the hiccups.

"Oh come on, Applejack! Just one trip around the clouds! One!"

It's an invitation that Applejack has heard countless times. However, no matter how often Rainbow Dash bugs her to experience an air ride, the farm filly flat out refuses.

Then one afternoon, on a day when Applejack is strangely quiet and distant, she suddenly agrees to Rainbow Dash's persistent request. The pegasus happily oblidges, not knowing what has truly motivated Applejack to give in, nor the fact that--more than anything--Applejack could really use a good friend right about now.

Rainbow Dash turns thirty, and it's just like any week, month, year, or decade of her life.