One beautiful morning, Twilight Sparkle decides she wants a free salad. After a small amount of theft, assault, battery, and arson, she sits down to enjoy what is sure to be the best tasting salad ever.

...Or she would have, if it weren’t for the Equestrian Intelligence Service locking her up as a potential threat to national security. Now, Twilight must escape a maximum security holding facility hidden deep underneath Canterlot. And to do it, she’ll need a paperclip, a spymare catsuit, an escape plan, and an alliance with the dastardly Drakbog, King of Frogs.

At the heart of the enemy's stronghold! Surrounded by the enemy host! Outnumbered by hundreds to one!
Negotiatons breakdown! Diplomacy fails!
War!
War is declared!

Come at me, breezie.

"The first thing new students of the Great Ponyville Homecoming Holiday Riot may wish to fix upon their minds is that ultimately, Mr. Rich's intentions were good and thus it could be said that in some ways, what happened was not truly his fault."

Black Friday comes to Equestria.

Once.

Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.

When Sunset Shimmer decides to visit Equestria with her girlfriend – the human world’s Twilight Sparkle – she expects there to be some confusion. She doesn't expect to come home with a royal title.

Meanwhile, Equestria's Twilight Sparkle worries she's not evil enough.

Lyra Heartstrings, who is not exactly the most responsible adult out there, is driving a train. A train with no brakes, on fire, full of orphans, which is approaching a broken bridge at terminal velocity.

Hmm. Well, at least things can't get worse.

Fair warning: Dark humor ahoy, guys. Horrible things played for laughs.

Proofread by:

• Selbi
• Octavia Harmony

One day, Fluttershy discovers that every time a pegasus flaps their wings, a kitten dies. Surprisingly, she has a problem with this. So naturally, the only thing to do is make sure nopony will ever flap their wings again. In the name of the innocent, defenseless kittens.

You wouldn't think that would be the act which nearly destroyed Equestria...

Written for Crackfic Week. (You did know it was Crackfic Week, right?)

Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.

Ponies have spread to the stars thanks to advances in technology. In the advanced and luxurious Solar Explorer, Celestia travels to the first extra-solar colony world set up by her little ponies. Unfortunately, events elsewhere in the galaxy, unknown to them, have set in motion a cycle that has been repeated for countless eons… the reaping of sentient races. A Reaper dreadnought confronts the Solar Explorer, intent upon indoctrinating the leadership of the ponies and bringing them to heel.

Said Reaper quickly learns exactly why Celestia has earned the title Unconquered.

A Mass Effect crossover oneshot.

Now with a reading done by Scarlett Blade! Check it out!

Straight from the Canterlot archives, this collection of documents retells the rise and fall of Princess Twilight Sparkle, Enlightened Despot of Equestria, Defender of the Peace, Lawgiver, and Commander of Fort Libris.

Twilight Sparkle is, of course, known to historians as the first usurper to seek to schedule a coup d'etat by appointment. But for other details- such as, "What is the longest recorded time a pony has gone without sleep?", "Is it true what they say about swans?", and, "Why is there an owlbear in the Equestrian Witness Protection Program?"- these documents provide the answers and much, much more.

This is ABSOLUTELY SERIOUS HISTORY from primary sources. If anything makes you think this is silly, ludicrous, or unbelievable, blame Discord.

Written for FanOfMostEverything's Imposing Sovereigns writing contest.

EDIT 3-15-17: Wow, almost instant featured! Was NOT expecting that!

EDIT 4-8-2017: Featured in the Royal Canterlot Library! Thanks!

Part of the Remember Fort Libris print anthology, thanks to our Kickstarter supporters!

Twilight has a problem on her hooves. An hour before Celestia was supposed to come to Ponyville for the Summer Sun Celebration, she's accidentally gone and killed everyone dead. As in, "dead as a doornail" dead. Now she's got to fix it before Celestia shows up and finds out.

Or, at the very least, make sure that Celestia doesn't know that they're dead.

Blame Blueshift for this.
Now with a sequel!
Now with a reading, graciously provided by Skijarama!

Pinkie Pie has mystified Discord for a long time. How is it that she can regularly break the laws of physics, be everywhere at once, and never run out of energy? In many ways, she reminds him of his own abilities. That gets him thinking about things, and a lightbulb goes off in his head.

This brainstorming gives Discord a rather interesting theory, one he's eager to find out if it's correct. If so, it would delight him to no end. Of course, he has to put his theory to the test, in the way only a draconequus can.

It might be a good idea to pray for Pinkie's safety right about now.

Edited with the help of Salnalus.