Chrysalis kidnapped a dozen ponies, threatened Equestria, was betrayed by her own kind, and has now vowed vengeance on Starlight Glimmer before leaping from the ruins of her castle and flying off. She is definitely going to get away.

Absolutely.

Yep.

Reading by TheCaptainSand - Scarlett Blade

Translated into Spanish by ZodiacalComet

Fluttershy might be stronger than she looks.

At least, that's what Rainbow says. Applejack's skeptical, to say the least. Especially after she just lost an arm wrestling match. Besides, that sweet, gentle pony couldn't win a tug-of-war against butterflies, much less be stronger than her, right?

...Right?

Edited by Doccular42

One beautiful morning, Twilight Sparkle decides she wants a free salad. After a small amount of theft, assault, battery, and arson, she sits down to enjoy what is sure to be the best tasting salad ever.

...Or she would have, if it weren’t for the Equestrian Intelligence Service locking her up as a potential threat to national security. Now, Twilight must escape a maximum security holding facility hidden deep underneath Canterlot. And to do it, she’ll need a paperclip, a spymare catsuit, an escape plan, and an alliance with the dastardly Drakbog, King of Frogs.

In this day and age, who has time to be a God? Prayers come in 24/7 and fancy dress is compulsory. Rainbow Dash certainly doesn't have time. She's got bills to pay and things to do. Besides, she isn't qualified for Godhood, surely.

The ponies who say her control of the weather is divine disagree, unfortunately. They've given her a funny spear and a robe that doesn't quite fit. They've got their own temple and they take church seriously.

And it turns out she's not the only pony recently undergone apotheosis...

Teen for immature jokes.

Nopony has heard from Fluttershy for three months. Not Rainbow Dash, not Rarity, not even Pinkie Pie. Her friends have been tending to the cottage and her animals, keeping it clean and organized, but even with Twilight's constant magic scans and a semi-constant guard search Equestria-wide, no hint has been found of where she went, how she vanished, or why she didn't tell anyone. Some ponies even think, in their darkest nightmares, that she might be dead.

Then she shows up one day, very definitely not dead, but just as definitely not the same as she was.

And does she have a story to tell. Boy, does she ever...

Coverart by Paladin.

Twilight encounters her greatest enemy, a villain more vile than Chrysalis, more slippery than Discord and darker than Nightmare Moon. The villain is known throughout Equestria as: Customer Service

[Note: Music component in story is entirely optional]
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There's a small little easter egg inside. Let's see if anyone can find it ^^
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Credits and Inspiration!

Song by MusicalWolfe: Winter Wrap Up Elevator Remix

Inspiration from a comment made by BCSpore on the video above

Cover art from My Little Pony Wiki from the episode Lesson Zero
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Author's Notes:
What happens when you're bored out of your mind in the middle of class and have that song played on repeat after looking at a awesome comment? This. That's what.

This is possibly the fastest, craziest and most random fanfic I have ever written. The idea wouldn't get out of my head so I did what any self-respecting writer would do: Make the craziest fanfic I could think of. I also used it to see what it would be like to do most of the story in uninterrupted dialogue. Regardless I hope you all enjoy this piece of...whatever this is.

There's an old book that's falling apart. Twilight wants to copy it down to preserve it. But it needs to be as accurate and precise as possible, to preserve the state of the original. That shouldn't be too hard. After all, it's not like the text will change whenever she looks away.

Right?