This morning, Shining Armor thought that his daughter's goth phase was his biggest worry. Now, he has to deal with a retired stage magician, a smoke monster that refuses to stay dead, the dumbest possible parallel universe, AND his daughter's goth phase.

Nothing about this makes any sense... and why does King Sombra seem oddly afraid of Trixie...?

Quite possibly the crackiest of all crack fics I have ever written for any fandom to date. I wrote this in about a week and had an absolute BLAST writing it. Contains...

• Trixie's verbal tic maxed out to the point where it becomes a plot point of sorts
• brooding goth Flurry Heart, complete with goth name
• card tricks
• the Crystal Empire having quite possibly worse security protocols than it does in canon
• nopony taking anything quite as seriously as they probably should
• Shining Armor making a few rather questionable choices involving his daughter's safety
• card tricks
• a magic mirror portal that ought to be yeeted into the sun or moved to the SCP Foundation HQ
• trace amounts of Applejack
• an homage to the best Mumbo and Grian comedy skit from the Last Life series on YouTube
• card tricks

Inspired by TWO contests!

Entering this into the Portal Transformations Contest I.

Also, after some consideration and checking with Muggonny, entering this into the Shining Armor is a Terrible Dad 2024 Competition. It blasted WAY past the max word count, but I'll just have to live with the wordcount penalty.

Some of the Bearers of Harmony were born in Ponyville. Some moved there. Twilight Sparkle was the last to arrive, uniting five unlikely mares into a team of heroes who would define an age.

Emphasis on "uniting." The relationships between the other Bearers before that Summer Sun Celebration ranged from "childhood friends" to "might be able to pick each other out of a police lineup." And yet, fate had its ways of preparing for what was to come. Some more subtle than others.

Written for Shakespearicles as a part of Jinglemas 2023.

It's been a long while since Applejack and her friends had a real night out, and Braeburn's newly-out cousin visiting town is a perfect excuse to get the girls back together and get rowdy at Ponyville's best (and only) gay/lesbian/non-denominationally-queer watering hole. There's just one problem: Braeburn wants to bring his new boyfriend along too. Also, his new boyfriend is a psychopathic dictator who tried to enslave the Crystal Empire twice and was extremely dead the last time Applejack saw him.

On second thought, that's two problems. Maybe more. Definitely a whole lot more.

My just-in-time entry for the M/M Shipping Contest III that got ever so slightly out of hand. Rated T for sexual themes, lots of booze, a couple of potty words, and Applejack being the disasteriest lesbian in Equestrian history.

Under Captain Rainbow Dash, the Wonderbolts have expanded to include members from races allied to Equestria.

Now she's confronted with a problem at the Academy: a changeling cadet who's decided the best way to succeed as a Wonderbolt is to literally be Rainbow Dash.

The solution is obvious for anypony who knows Rainbow Dash: a race.

Featured 9/26/2023 - 9/30/2023!

And featured on Equestria Daily on 10/2/2023, and as part of 30 Of The Best Fanfics To Read For Rainbow Dash Day on 2/1/2024!

Princess Flurry's dates are not up to Imperial standards.

With thanks to various Discords for brainstorming and Samey90 and RDT for pre-reading.

The earth melts. The skies darken. Celestia has tired of being the nice princess, and the shadow of the sun has overtaken her.

To Prince Blueblood's immense regret, he can't leave this one to Sparkle and company.

Rated Teen for mild cursing and alcohol references. Honorable Mention in the 2023 Everfree Northwest Iron Author competition. Prompts were: Vexing Volcanism/Verdant Vegetable/Vibrant Vestigial

Original art by Adam Paquette.

Twilight was never comfortable with the decision made on that day. After a decade of cleaning up the messes her predecessors had left behind, she couldn't in good conscience leave another behind for whoever followed in her hoofsteps.

Written for the Thousand Words Contest II in the Horror category because sometimes you just gotta.

Featured 6/27/23-6/29/23
Well, okay then

And apparently A dramatic reading by StraightToThePointStudios
Think that's actually a first for me.

Miss Harshwhinny is presented with a dilemma from which there appears to be no ethical escape. Starlight Glimmer is very good at stretching the definition of “ethical.”

A love letter to the writing of Aragon. No creatures were harmed in the writing of this fic.

Equestria's history is full of wonders, both magical and mechanical. But only twice has it succeeded in implementing AI.

The latest iteration is an apple farmer whose resurrection is celebrated by everypony except herself. Because really, once every part has been replaced, what is left that can measure a mare?

An entry for the 2023 Sci-Fi Contest, where it nabbed a respectable fourth place. Yay, existential robot ponies!

Pinkie knows that being a baker means taking a lot of responsibility for your product. The bread has to rise with Celestia. Nopony needs to go through Round Two on the Baked Bads. And if at all possible, you should absolutely avoid serving the kind of 'donuts' which summon an eldritch horror from beyond space and time to destroy the world.

The Cakes keep slipping up on that last part. Not deliberately, at least in that they don't know they're doing it -- but somepony still has to clean up the tentacled mess, and do it by the time Sun is raised. Which is going to be Pinkie. Again.

Break out the caffeine. It's going to be a long night.

(Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.)

Rated C for Cthulhu Crackfic.