Call of the Wire

by Casketbase77

Jack.App

The Gyroscopic Protoplow was the third-most advanced device in all of Equestria. So said all the radio announcers paid to promote it.

The plow's list of features contained words never before heard at Sweet Apple Acres, such as "ergonomic" and "hypoallergenic." In the end though, the specifics hadn't mattered. Big Macintosh's back wasn't getting any less achy with age, and Apple Bloom had memorized a discount code rattled off by one of the teenybopper talking heads she followed. The eldest brother got a new tool, and the youngest sister could forevermore insist there was value in listening to the Cozy's Glowpinions podcast. Which left the middle sibling as the only one unsatisfied with the outcome.

No self-respecting thinking machine would ever admit to feeling threatened by a mindless piece of farm equipment. Not even a flashy one strapped to its brother. Still, the bearer of Honesty couldn't exactly lie to itself. To solve this quiet personal crisis, it volunteered to supervise Big Macintosh's test run with the new plow. After all, Equestria's third-most advanced device would be best judged by Equestria's second-most.

"That harness ain't causin' any tension in your withers, is it?"

"Nope."

Big Macintosh's head was obscured by an interface visor, but his voice came through, calm and level.

"This field's got less topsoil than the big one out back. Still want to fire up that thing here?"

"Eeyup."

"You sure your withers aren't tense? You're pawing the ground something fierce."

With effort, Big Macintosh reeled in his frustrated hoof taps. There was only one overbearing machine in the field with him, and it wasn't the protoplow. AJ cared, he knew that, but it was the type of caring which led to pacing circles around him, scanning the safety section of the protoplow's instruction booklet. Flesh and blood pony hooves lacked the deftness to trot, to hold a thick paperback, and to flip through the pages all at the same time. AJ had not had flesh and blood pony hooves for a very long time.

"You'd think Sol would go easy on the sunlight so early in the day," AJ fretted. It paused mid-page-turn to let its ocular lenses whir and click, adjusting for glare. "You feelin' lightheaded from the heat? There's a feature to fight that, I'm sure. Need to find-"

Big Macintosh flicked his ears in the pattern the advertisements taught him, and AJ's prattling was drowned out for one merciful moment by an awning being activated. The sunshade stretched and unfurled, briefly obscuring Big Macintosh's vision until the transparency feature activated. As it did, he heard a synthetic snort and the shutting of the instruction booklet.

"Well," AJ pouted, "if'n you're so confident to git underway here..."

"Eeyup." Mac swished his tail (another gesture from the commercials) which caused the engine to start up. Not with the crude rattle of diesel, but instead an electric hum. It was a lot like the noise AJ made whenever it was exerting itself to kick trees. With quiet pride, Big Macintosh appreciated he had his own hum now. The main difference being it wasn't inside him, but instead affixed to his shoulders by a comfy harness. Moreover, he'd sought out the harness voluntarily. More-moreover, it could be taken off whenever the wearer wanted.

Now that Big Macintosh reflected on it, his hum wasn't like AJ's at all.

"Be safe. Please." AJ backed up to provide some startup room, the safety booklet clutched tightly to its chest panel.

"Ee... Eeyup," Big Macintosh stammered. He squared his muscular legs and felt the protoplow shift to match him. "No worries?" he ventured.

AJ was incapable of lying to its brother's face. So it pulled down its hat, the only aspect of Applejack that had survived her own moment of recklessness long ago. Fire damage on a timeworn brim filled AJ's visual sensors. "No worries," the robot mumbled.

Big Macintosh swished his tail again and rocketed forward.

"Whoa!"

The protoplow's bulkhead forged ahead, effortless and clean. Big Macintosh had never felt more weightless, even as his legs pumped like pistons past mounds of freshly tilled earth.

AJ's legs actually were pistons, and it pumped them in double time to catch up. Four sets of gyroscopes soon found a rhythm that carried AJ close enough to yell in his ear.

"You're coverin' hours of field in seconds! You sure you're in control of that thing?"

Big Macintosh's answer was to proudly pivot the protoplow, churning ever more dirt with perfect precision. He swerved around a certain corner of the field, one that had always been difficult to maneuver with the old plow. But now he breezed past the mounds of roots in the shade of their source: the two biggest trees on the farm's property. Big Mac allowed a self-indulgent nod to the conjoined trunks of pear and apple, certain the monument to his parents was looking down on him with approval.

AJ loped along in its brother's wake, slightly less equipped than he was to traverse the root mounds. The cooling fan in its chest was whirring fiercely, so AJ slowed to a stop in the shade. This grove was a place of ease, so long as AJ tersely averted its oculars from the third grave near the braided tree trunks.

"On yer left, Applejack!"

AJ flinched, first at hearing that full name and then again as Big Macintosh shot past her on his second lap around the fallow field. His tailwind followed, blowing AJ's synthetic hair in every direction. Despite itself, AJ grinned. Joy at the protoplow's success was contagious, and AJ had learned to live vicariously through others. It saw that the field was already halfway tilled, and in a few more laps it'd be ready for planting. A day's work done in a minute, done by a normally stoic clydesdale giggling like a colt with his new toy. Out of earshot, at least until Big Mac looped back again, AJ offered its own thoughts to the shade of the branches of family members gone.

"Sorry I worried for his safety, Applejack."

Surging with new heat at addressing its template, AJ reflexively reached to pull its hat down.

Its hoof touched cranial plating and nothing else.

"Huh?! Where-!"

"On yer left again!"

A new, less enjoyable burst of tailwind blasted dirt and hair into AJ's oculars. It frantically wiped the obstructions away, scanning the field for the missing hat. A desperate prayer to Sol begged to not find shredded leather stomped underhoof by the most recent drive by. Faith was rewarded by the sight of Applejack's stetson, intact and resting on the last strip of field that hadn't been plowed yet. The strip Big Macintosh had swung around and begun barreling towards.

"No! Mac, NO!!"

AJ lunged, its mental processor flooded with clashing values and variables. Calculations of whether that panicked shriek had been understandable, predictions of the speed of the incoming protoplow, hard data asserting there were hundreds of replacement stetsons in the world, and a roiling wordless override that screamed there was only one stetson in the world that Applejack had died in.

Big Macintosh whinnied, finally noticing something wrong. He was moving too fast to brake, and almost too fast to swerve without crashing. The protoplow's onboard gyroscope strained itself to keep him stable as the entire device pitched hard and clipped AJ's tail. Then the plow hit the root mounds by the grove, tipping the entire thing over as it tore through the field's fence, finally slamming to a sideways skidding stop in the shredded grass.

AJ's auditory feed had picked up every sickening crunch of the protoplow's crash. Its cooling fan was overclocked as AJ scrambled to its prosthetic hooves and bolted towards the wreck. The hat stayed where it lay, abandoned just as frantically as it had been claimed, as if leaving it on the ground might somehow renege on the horrible trade that was just made. AJ's fan was nearly spinning off its axel when it arrived at the scene. In a pile of twisted fence wire was the bent metal frame of what once had been a protoplow. Inside were four massive airbags sandwiching the driver.

Big Macintosh raised his bluescreened helmet, dazed but unhurt.

"We have insurance, right Applejack?"

Author's Note:

There's a curious abundance of fanart depicting Applejack as a robot. I guess there's just a lot of inherent pathos (and/or comedy) in making the most down-to-earth character an artificial animal.

Source

Apparently, you can put a price on family. Really though, 16,000 Bits feels like a lowball.

Comments

[garfan]

I have never seen a single AJ as a robot bit of fanart before today

[RMWarPony]

Another fine product of Bilk more INC. An F&F enterprise .

[The Mystery Fluttershy Fan]

I'm gonna make an audiobook of this soon, for my Youtube Channel.

[SixLeggedHorseOfOdin]

They're not animals or horses, this is cleared up not just in the G4 MLP series but in G! by showing animal horses besides ponies. Calling Ponies, Horses is like Doctor Who calls humans apes. I imagine if ponies were real it would be an insult, ponies further more throughout the G4 series differentiate themselves from animals.

[Shortmane]

I'm not usually one for sci-fi but that summary was so gripping, and already this is so intriguing and well-written and engaging. Love what you're doing already, even just as something of a setup scene, just hinting at what had happened and yet revealing so much, very cool.

[The Mystery Fluttershy Fan]

[Bicyclette]

The plow's list of features contained words never before heard at Sweet Apple Acres, such as "ergonomic" and "hypoallergenic."

given the rate of injuries we see there, i especially believe that for the former!

The eldest brother got a new tool, and the youngest sister could forevermore insist there was value in listening to the Cozy's Glowpinions podcast.

hehe, nice reference

After all, Equestria's third-most advanced device would be best judged by Equestria's second-most.

sentences like this really give this story about robot ponies this folksy, Twainian air, and i am quite impressed

The main difference being it wasn't inside him, but instead affixed to his shoulders by a comfy harness. Moreover, he'd sought out the harness voluntarily. More-moreover, it could be taken off whenever the wearer wanted.

ooh, love this interpretation of Big Mac’s yoke

Fire damage on a timeworn brim filled AJ's visual sensors.

oof, love this detail

The hat stayed where it lay, abandoned just as frantically as it had been claimed, as if leaving it on the ground might somehow renege on the horrible trade that was just made.

ooh, another sentence i love. just delicious, these

There's a curious abundance of fanart depicting Applejack as a robot. I guess there's just a lot of inherent pathos (and/or comedy) in making the most down-to-earth character an artificial animal.

so true actually

[Magenta Cat]

Wow. Despite the obvious darker theme of Applejack dying and getting Robocop-ed, this felt really close to the series usual flavor. Mostly by the ending of Big Mac making a comment about insurance and stuff. Pretty entertaining.

Also, I can't help but ponder if the narration using 'it/its' pronouns for Applejack an indicative of being a machine, or gender. Wouldn't be the first fic I read where Applejack in particular is non-binary (excusing the programing joke).