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Most of the sales at Sweet Apple Acres happened online these days. If a pony came calling in person to browse the inventory, they were either elderly types who still hadn't warmed to the idea of websites, or they were particularly picky eaters who insisted on seeing their food in person before buying it.
Or they were Trixie Lulamoon.
"Good morning to all! Trixie demands audience with the resident robot. Is AJ up and available?"
"Eh?" Apple Bloom was the only one present, rinsing out a filthy bucket out with a hose. "I 'unno. She's definitely 'round though. Applejack doesn't sleep. Whatcha need 'er for?"
Trixie harrumphed and adjusted the tote bag slung over her shoulder. "Oh, it's… boring. School faculty business."
"Oh I see," Apple Bloom complained. "I ain't big enough to mingle with customers, but when somepony needs to muck out the pig stalls, I'm first to get dumped on. Literally!" She sourly splashed some of the hose's freezing water onto her forelimbs and rubbed them together. Trixie cringed at the dirty patches staining the young mare's fur. They matched the stains on the bucket, and judging by the smell, they weren't mud.
"Hold this, wouldja?" Apple Bloom hoofed the hose to Trixie, ignoring the latter's sputtering that she really only came here to find AJ.
"Lotta customers ask why a fruit farm needs livestock like pigs and sheep and such," Apple Bloom remarked unprompted as she rinsed her mane. "And when I try to 'splain that the orchard's fertilizer has to come from somewhere, they always get flustered and leave me." She blinked her big doleful eyes. "You ain't gettin' flustered and wantin' to leave me, are ya?"
"N-no," Trixie lied.
"Great!" Apple Bloom flicked her head, sending soiled water droplets into the air. Either unaware or in denial of her disheveled state, she affected the voice of a young professional. "I've been achin' to pitch an idea to improve things 'round here. See, after buyin that protoplow for Big Mac last week, I've been seein' lots of targeted ads for stuff like it. One was for a powerwasher. If'n I had one of those things, I could muck out the pig stalls real quick and not get a speck of mess on me! I'd take good care of my new 'quipment too, and not crash it headlong into a fence like Mac did."
“Good stage presence while presenting,” Trixie reviewed. “Posture is straight and you’re good at projecting your voice.” The ex-showmare adjusted her tote bag again. “But this is really something you should pitch to your family. Know your audience, and all that."
"None of 'em have been sparing any time for me 'less its for a chore assignment," the filly complained. "Granny’s with her friends in Las Pegasus. Mac's out shoppin' for replacement plow parts, not that he's much of a talker when he's around. And Applejack... I 'unno. She's been funny lately."
The last comment grabbed Trixie's wandering attention. "She has?"
"Yeah, but that ain't important. See, I'd have to pay for that powerwasher outta my own pocket, and my allowance ain't big enough for that. But Diamond Tiara’s From Blah To Bling podcast said to jump on every cash-makin’ chance that trots up. You're chummy with Principal Glimmer, ain’t ya Miss Trixie? I work in her School’s tutorin' lounge sometimes. Maybe put in a word to her and ask to gimme a four-hundred Bit advance on my pay?"
"Sure sure," Trixie dismissed hurriedly, not bothering to point out that she worked at the school as well. "Consider it done. But, er, when you say AJ has been 'funny lately,' what exactly-"
"Oh thank you, Miss Trixie! I promise I’ll stick up for ya next time I hear someone trash talk you behind yer back. They do it a lot." Two sopping wet forelimbs hugged the unicorn's midsection, staining her cape and making her wince.
"Uh huh. Choosing to ignore that last comment. So about AJ-"
"Can you text Glimglam and tell ‘er to send me the Bits via Cashtrot? I wanna place muh order right away."
Trixie sighed and reached into her tote bag. Phones and virtual money were new tech, but at least they were simple. A slightly older and far more complicated machine was cantering out of a distant barn. Trixie waved invitingly. Predictably, AJ didn't wave back.
"Apple Bloom! There ya are. Why aren't the pig stalls clean yet?"
"The bucket got full! I'm rinsin' it out!" Apple Bloom then dropped her volume. "See ya at work, Trixie. And remember: four-hundred Bits." The youngest Apple scampered away with her bucket, sidestepping AJ's steady approach.
“Sorry for not shooing her away sooner" AJ explained stiffly. "Don't get many in-person customers these days, and I reckon she’s forgotten that proper decorum means not talkin’ to your elders while still covered in-”
“It's fine, It’s fine.” Trixie cut in, not needing to be reminded what was on the hooves that just hugged her. “Really. We were just… making chit-chat.”
“What about?”
“Erm… a commercial Apple Bloom saw and enjoyed.”
AJ emitted a recording of a sigh, then turned off the tap connected to the hose. “I swear, ya give a foal one head pat for regurgitating a lone discount code, and she spends the rest of the week tryin' to replicate that high."
Trixie knew all about chasing old highs. It had led to some dark places in her past. She wondered when Apple Bloom last got a "head pat" for anything other than quoting a podcast. Four hundred Bits said she wouldn't get one when the pig stalls were clean.
Trixie shook her head to dispel the uncharitable thought. "I um..." she shook her head again. "The Great and Shopping-Inclined Trixie actually trotted out here to check up on you, not your sister. And browse your apple inventory while I'm at it, of course."
AJ shrugged and motioned towards the cellar door near the house. As was Trixie’s nature, she talked as they walked.
“You’re not wearing your hat,” the unicorn observed.
“I put it up for a while.”
Years of being a vocational school guidance counselor had sharpened Trixie’s social instincts. Right now, they were telling her to not pursue the hat subject.
“So… sounds like Granny Smith is doing okay.”
“Huh?”
“Word ‘round the watering trough says you’re on leave of absence ‘cuz a family member had pacemaker surgery. Apple Bloom mentioned the old vixen is out west with friends, so it sounds like that new heart put plenty of pep back in her geriatric step.”
“Oh, I get it now.” AJ was rolling its oculars. “Rope me in with the promise of an apple sale, then pester me to start comin’ back in to work. Did Starlight put ya up to this?”
Trixie hid her surprise at AJ’s uncharacteristic iciness. “Well… you being you, it does spark Trixie’s curiosity that there’s no hustle in your bustle to come back to all your students and friends.”
“Me being me,” AJ muttered sadly. Its hatless ears were drooping, and Trixie noticed.
“I really am here to buy apples,” she assured, dropping the wise gal persona. “They’re for a baby shower the school staff is putting together. ”
AJ’s cooling fan flared with surprise. “Baby shower?”
“Yep,” Trixie beamed. “These are the things you miss on leave, ya know. It's a juicy secret for now, but Pinkie Pie and Cheese Sandwich sent their DNA samples in to Storkcorp. They're trying for a foal!”
AJ’s jaw panel opened and closed a few times before emitting any new sounds. “Never woulda thought Pinkie Pie had the gumption to go for that. Good on ‘er.”
“Mm-hm,” Trixie chortled. “Same. Though I haven’t known her for as long as you have.”
‘S’pose not,” AJ agreed. It was pulling open the cellar doors. “But long-knowing someone ain’t always helpful. Now let’s see here… we got red delicious, golden delicious, honeycrisp…”
“What do you mean by that, AJ?”
“By what? Honeycrisp?” It reached down and produced a reddish-yellow apple from a climate-controlled cooler. “They’re called that cuz they’re crispy and taste like honey, I’d guess.”
“No no, the first thing you said. About long-knowing someone.”
AJ blinked its oculars. “Um… nothin’, really.”
Trixie drew herself up. “You’re a terrible liar, AJ. I’ve known you long enough to have picked up on that.” Trixie wasn’t particularly close with AJ, but forcing confrontations was a talent she had, for better or for worse. Plus, at this point she felt compelled to list some frighteningly familiar concerns.
“Your old mare doesn’t need cared for, and you’re obviously not spending your free time here chumming it up with Apple Bloom. And judging by how surprised you were about Pinkie, I know you’re not keeping in touch with your friends either. AJ, please. Apple Bloom said you’ve been ‘funny lately.’ I’m not asking this as your nosy coworker, okay? I’m asking you, mare to machine: are you feeling like yourself? Because you’re not acting like it.”
AJ was studying at the honeycrisp apple in her hoof. Presumably to avoid meeting Trixie’s gaze. “Apple Bloom said that, did she? Poor sugarcube. Didn’t stop to think anypony might be fretting over me.”
“The Great And Self-Absorbed Trixie is fretting over you, and I’ve only been here for a minute.”
AJ nodded slowly. “I hear ya. May not show it, but I do.”
An expectant silence yawned between the unicorn and the robot. It was the latter who apprehensively broke it.
“So…” it began, “to explain what’s been gnawin’ me lately, can I start by askin’ you a question?”
Relieved, Trixie smoothed out a wrinkle in her hat. “Sure. I’m guessing that wasn’t the question you meant though.”
AJ smiled weakly. “Cheeky gal. Nah, what I wanna know is… what’d you think of me at first sight?”
“I’m not sure I understand.”
“It woulda been back when you first dipped into Ponyville to do a show.”
“Ugh,” Trixie closed her eyes and scrunched her nose. “The Ursa Major blowhard days. Let’s see… you and Rarity were pretty mouthy hecklers. Gotta admit, I was worried when I saw a bot hop up into the spotlight to do complicated rope tricks. Nopony gets one over on Trixie, though! Wrapped that twine right around your legs with magic and sent you packing!” She reopened her eyes, smug grin dissolving at the sight of AJ looking pensive. “Erm, sorry if that memory wasn’t helpful.”
“Eh, I’m actually a tad flattered to hear ya remember the rope trick. Plus, you’re gettin’ me back into the groove of a teacher tryin’ to lead a student somewhere.” AJ was palming the apple around now, smiling sadly. “See, I remember what I thought of you back then. And I hope you don’t take offense to me sayin’ I wasn’t as keen towards the way you were then as the way you are now.”
“Trixie’s phase as a Heel is pretty much a previous life.”
“Yes ma’am. But it was one I was there to see you livin’ through. You… you never saw me livin’ through my own old times. ‘Fore I… ya know. ”
“But your other friends did, right? I mean, they must have. Weren’t they there when you… uh…” She mimed an explosion gesture with her hooves.
That one got a nostalgic chuckle from the speaker in AJ’s throat chassis. “That they were. I’d said my first howdy to Twilight just a morning earlier, and by midnight... that…” the chuckling had stopped. “That was all she knew Applejack for. Less than a day.”
Trixie glanced around, double-checking Apple Bloom wasn’t in eye or earshot. Certain secrets extended through Twilight’s inner friend circle and no further.
“Look, Trixie can’t pretend to know what dying was like for you. But she can guess. Do you… ever think about the second time we met? When I was wearing the Alicorn Amplifier?”
“Pff. Not if’n I can help it. That debacle was nopony’s finest hour.”
“Alright, blundered right into that one. But for real. I’m being level with you, so you need to be level with me. Kay? The longer the Alicorn Amplifier stayed latched on and running, the less… me there was. In my own thoughts.”
Trixie was leaning forward now. Though normally hidden by her cape collar and carefully combed mane, her neck was visible. Long vacant implant ports dotted her back, with feeble scar tissue surrounding each of them. It was Trixie herself who had eventually ripped the Amplifier’s nerve pins from her spinal column, electrical burns from the discharge leaving permanent black scribbles in her otherwise bright blue fur. Most of the docking ports had been melted closed in the process. The ones that hadn't were fitted with snug rubber caps supplied by doctors specially trained in preventing implant infections. Most ponies only needed such measures until their body healed naturally. Trixie would need them for the rest of her natural life.
“I got off easy,” Trixie went on, “yanking the Alicorn Amplifier out when I did. Because sure, it made spellcasting absolutely effortless. But… all the brightness for my horn was sucked straight from my thoughts. My name felt like it belonged to a stranger. The word ‘it’ snaked in to replace ‘she’ in my inner monologue. And you know that the Great And Powerful Trixie has a very loud inner monologue.”
AJ’s oculars were dilated, and its cooling fan was whirring.
“Applejack, swear to Sol… if anything you just heard sounds relatable, you need to say so, right n-”
“Hey! Are ya’ll doin’ an apple sale without me?”
Trixie reared reflexively and AJ snapped to full attention. Apple Bloom was back, sans bucket and mercifully clean this time.
“Pig stalls’re done,” she reported, wiping fresh hose water from her muzzle. “And I’m chilled to the bone. Can I light the fireplace and dry up by it, Applejack? Pleeeeease? I know we got fresh kindlin’ from the fence posts that the protoplow smashed last week.”
“Y-yeah,” AJ drawled robotically.
“Thanks, sis! You’re the best!” Apple Bloom spun on her heels, spraying more water, then took note of the apple in AJ’s anxious grip. “Honeycrisp. You have good taste, Miss Trixie. Kay, bye!” The patter of small hooves carried her away.
“Kids,” Trixie exhaled. “All their problems have simple solutions, huh?” AJ didn’t smile at the quip. AJ didn’t look ready to smile at anything.
“S-sorry,” Trixie stammered.
“You’re… you’re alright, sugarcube. I’ll be into work tomorrow.”
“Only if you’re feeling up to it,” Trixie backpedaled. She took the honeycrisp from AJ’s limp hoof and shoveled more like it into her tote bag.
“How… how I’m feelin’ doesn’t matter,” AJ mumbled. “I’ll just do.”
Trixie slung her fully loaded tote bag over her shoulder, ignoring the friction of its strap on her implant caps. Leaving felt wrong, but staying felt even worse. She’d made a horribly demeaning assumption about her friend, and AJ’s lack of wrath was only making the guilt worse.
“Spend some time with Apple Bloom, okay?”
“Huh?” AJ was incredulous. “Are you givin’ me a Friendship Assignment?”
The School of Friendship’s guidance counselor smoothed her mane and cape so that not an inch of neck was showing. “If that’s what you want to call it, sure. Just… be yourself, okay? Can you promise you'll do that?”
AJ bowed its head, servos clicking to make the action happen. Trixie’s mind and body contained bits of metal, but AJ’s mind and body were metal. It had no self left to be.
“I’ll… try.”
In contrast to the abundance of robot AJs, there is a frustrating shortage of cyborg Trixie pics. The best match I could find for this chapter's purposes was this:
The Great and Cybernetically Scarred Trixie would like to say again she disavows this particular chapter of her life.
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I also feel frustrated with so little cyber art
I never knew I needed cyborg Trixie, but now I’m also upset that there’s so little.
Very very cool story.
Think you missed this
Trixie's
Heheheheheh
I absolutely love Trixie in this
11548572
You here still.
one of the things i love about Equestria is the analog-ness of it all. honestly sad to see this! i can’t imagine buying groceries without looking at the food i was buying
augh, love this moment of Apple Bloom! also, fantastic explanation for that very question i was wondering about. i accept this answer as canon
ahaha, love this! Trixie having good advice for Apple Bloom is not a pairing i ever expected to see
oh wow, Equestria really is speedrunning all of modern human Society’s pathologies, huh?
ahaha, that is exactly how that would go!
oof!
aww, love to see a more matured and personal growthed Trixie!
aww, love Trixie
oh i love this interpretation of the Alicorn Amulet!
ooh, love this! and hints at alicorns as not being quite the same creature as the ponies they previously were, which i also love
ooh, love it though! augh, just love your use of Trixie of all ponies relating to both Apples like this so much
Perfect introduction.
Okay, that was a heavier piece all in all, and a better look on Applejack's inner thoughts. Also more light on how does she/it feel about herself/itself.
Also, yay for Trixie contributing to the main plot.