The Canterlot Archive decides to create a document listing the age of every pony in Equestria. It's impossible to mess this up.

The Canterlot Archive messes this up.

Proofread by Octavia Harmony.

Special thanks to Selbi for additional help.

Live reading by CaptainBron3y

The last time the Cutie Mark Crusaders worked on the school newspaper, they used gossip, rumors and innuendo to drive circulation through the roof. Their brief rise and rapid fall taught them a valuable lesson about truth and honesty in reporting. Apologies were made, hugs were exchanged, and everypony lived happily ever after.

For about three weeks, anyway. Now the Crusaders are back in the newspaper business, and it won't be lies that set the town on fire.

A short story about the triumph of enthusiasm over ability.

Written for the December Writeoff Event, Behind Closed Doors.

Too many suitors, not enough Twilight. How can a brilliant genius alicorn pony solve this problem?

Contains shipping. Contains nuts. Contents may have shifted during shipping. Do not take orally, or seriously. Use the included tools to retighten screws a week after assembly. Luna is always watching.

Many thanks to RarityEQM for quality assurance.

The story continues in The Days of the Prophets.

A hundred years has passed since the Catastrophe, which meant the end the alicorns’ era. Now their graves make for the seat of a new power: the Parliament of Equestria, where the “three stand as one, now as before and forever”. The motto of the Parliament, inscribed in stone for all to see.

Just wipe away the blood first.

Proofread by: ponygrad

[12/14/2014] Revisions to Chapter 4 and onwards. More info here: http://www.fimfiction.net/blog/416547/fixing-i-think-i-can-remember

Celestia is settling into being a princess. It’s a lot of work, but luckily Star Swirl is a big help, even if Luna isn’t.

Then she wakes up and over a thousand years have passed. Her sister was banished to the moon and came back, Star Swirl is long gone, and Celestia apparently has a small purple alicorn student.

What’s going on?

Spike would like to indulge in a little late-night storytelling. If he could just get a little bit of privacy, he might churn out his masterwork. A sharp quill, a bottle of ink, and a head full of ideas. If only that owl would mind his own business.

Featured on Equestria Daily!

Thanks to Uma for rough draft feedback.

Celestia has had enough of half-arsed promises from her loyal subjects. It's time to wear a different hat.

Also on: DeviantArt

Faced with an incompetent captain, orders that make no sense, and a winter of boredom and terrible coffee, the choice for Stoker was to either like it, or lump it. So he chose mutiny instead. Unfortunately, life is seldom as simple as all that, especially in the frozen north of Equestria. Before the day is out, he will have to face a royal visit, negotiations, a terrifying new weapon, and history that wants to be repeated.

With a complete chorus of soldiers, sailors, tractor axle makers, princesses, terrible bars, crossed wires and big mistakes, you could do a damn sight worse than read The Battleship Ponytemkin.

Twilight used to think she could handle stress pretty well. The smartypants incident however proved her wrong. So she decides that when her friends aren't there she needs somepony there to help her through the stress.

So what does our lavender librarian do?

She creates an artificial intelligence.

In a matriarchal society such as Equestria, sometimes the social position of a stallion can be difficult.

Big Macintosh has things going fairly well for himself. He does his share of the work at Sweet Apple Acres and helps to support his family along with his sister.

But Granny Smith has been talking lately. She thinks an eligible stallion such as himself should find a well-to-do mare and get married before he's too old. And now she's gotten an idea: why doesn't Applejack introduce him to her friends?