Celestia had a problem. Somepony wrote a novel about Nightmare Moon's rebellion. This made Luna quite unhappy, and unfortunately for her sister, Luna has not yet gotten the hang of modern traditions like freedom of speech, the abolition of the death penalty, and not bothering Princess Celestia when she's trying to sleep.

Fortunately, Celestia also had a faithful student, one who is now a Princess with an ill-defined portfolio and perfectly capable of dispensing justice by the laws of both today and one thousand years ago.

Now Twilight Sparkle has a problem.

(Title image hacked together from vectors by Martinnus1, Hawk9mm, and Paulie15.)

Clementine Apple (née Orange) receives an extremely long-distance phone call. Equestria Girls-based content.

Now with a Spanish translation by Spaniard Kiwi!

For four years, a pair of alien observers have been living in Ponyville under assumed identities, performing cultural studies and avoiding unwelcome attention. But when a piece of advanced technology is stolen from them, the observers must do everything in their power to get it back—preferably before their superiors decide to blow up the planet.

A crossover with the 'Culture' novels of Iain M. Banks. No prior knowledge necessary for reading.
— Featured by Equestria Daily, Seattle's Angels, and The Royal Guard.

Nurse Redheart has seen a lot of patients come and go through the Ponyville Hospital, but when an old and feeble stallion checks in there seems to be something different about him. He has a story to tell.

It's no grand adventure or yarn of fiction, merely a tale of his youth. However, Redheart finds something special even in the mundane life of Mr. Business.

Written with large amounts of assistance from Xepher

You'd think that being trapped in stone would mean that, if nothing else, I could get some peace and quiet. Unfortunately, it seems that Celestia has other ideas.

She has appointed these ponies... these 'Keepers', as she calls them, to keep me entertained during my incarceration.

Honestly? I'd prefer the boredom.

Cover art by matrosha123
Spanish Translation by SPANIARD KIWI found here

... and learns important life lessons, somewhere in between everything going wrong.

* * *

"The first thing I thought upon reading Hitchhikers was that the gods of ponyfiction … had smiled upon me." – Ezn
"Congratulations, you have written the first 'Proper Noun Verbs A Noun' story that does not actively disgust me." - Prereader Benman

After a big fight between the Cutie Mark Crusaders, Sweetie Belle wonders if she ever had any real friends. When she sees how close her sister and her friends are as they prepare for their vacation, she becomes envious. Wanting to make some new, real friends, she secretly joins them on their vacation.

Twilight Sparkle is used to being lonely. Sure, she's got friends now, but sometimes they're busy and you're left to your own devices. When these times come, she takes refuge in a particular place and partakes in a very particular activity: writing. Specifically, silly throwaway writings. Why? Well, they're safe.

Though the distance between Pinkie Pie and her five closest friends has grown in the half-century since they claimed their Elements, she does what she can to prevent the others from drifting away. It’s small things, mostly: tea with Rarity, a drink with Rainbow Dash, a few words with each of the others. The friendship still makes each day together magic, and she works as hard as ever to bring cheer to all of her friends. When the smiles come less frequently, that just makes each one that much more precious.

In the wake of the events of "Infernal Machines" and the Nightmare's most pathetic assault on Ponyville yet, Applejack is thrown into an existential crisis, despite her not knowing what the word "existential" means. So when a stranger named Stranger arrives in town, teaching a new way of coupling talent to power using complex machinery, she is quickly suckered in, along with everypony else. Now, it falls to the Most Dependable of Ponies to bring the resulting ruckus down to earth, but can even Applejack's legendary pragmatism stand up to the brain-fizzing horror that is... CONTRAPTIONOLOGY?

Now with a Spanish translation by Spaniard Kiwi!