Everypony knows the stories of Twilight Sparkle's adventures with the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony. Their heroism in cleansing Princess Luna of the Nightmare, their courage in facing Discord and his anarchy, their resolve to help Ponyville face its many disasters. What everypony doesn't know is that none of those stories ever happened.

This is Big Macintosh's story. And it is true.

Celestia wants Twilight and her friends to loosen up a little bit around her. Luna just wants to try the hard cider. During a surprise visit to Sweet Apple Acres at the tail end of cider season, Princess Luna has just a bit too much to drink, and when she makes a rather inappropriate joke, Twilight comes to the very uncomfortable realization that she has never seen Celestia excuse herself to use the restroom.

After Twilight delivers a batch of books to Sweet Apple Acres as a gesture of goodwill, she finds that one member of the Apple Family is not interested in her offerings. Through her efforts to discover why, she inadvertently discovers Big Macintosh's most shameful secret.

Thanks to JBL for the story idea.

Thanks to Holo, Midnight Legend, ajvasquezbrony28, Sir Rustbucket, ValorlordV5, and Sage Runner for editing.

Now with a YouTube reading by Thornquill!

Rated Teen for some thematic elements.

The Princesses' birthday celebration is here again, and Mayor Mare needs a scapegoat—er, trusted citizen—to handle Ponyville's gift. Certainly, deciding what to get for an ancient ruler who's seen everything will be a piece of cake. Hm, cake. Maybe that's not such a bad idea.

Third-place winner in The Write-Off Association's contest "Lonely Happiness."

Featured on Equestria Daily!

After his staff of security officers come down with the billygoat flu, Iron Will desperately seeks replacements. With only a few hours before his seminar, he reluctantly hires four fillies to assist. Iron Will is skeptical, but he doesn't have much of a choice.

But does he really have anything to worry about? After all, it's just an assertiveness seminar. His new hires will just have to check tickets. Security is easy, isn't it? Nothing bad will happen.

Right?

Isn't this the CMC we're talking about?

Thanks to Biker_Dash and ValorlordV5 for editing.

Now Featured on Equestria Daily!

Rated Teen for raunchy humor, language, and four fillies abusing their authority.

When you fear the cure worse than the affliction, how can you ever hope to recover? For Berry Punch, there's never been an easy answer.

And when she is forced to confront consequences worse than any she could have imagined, it's just going to get harder.

With only her newfound desperation to drive her forwards, Berry Punch throws herself into what might truly be her last living attempt at recovery.

My appreciation goes to Simon_oSullivan, Tired Old Man, and Burraku_Pansa for their contributions.

Featured on Equestria Daily 05/04/2014