. . . · 6:00pm Aug 21st, 2015
(TW: pet pain)
I'm scheduling my cat for euthanasia today.
She's old and with a kidney problem that means she drinks a lot and has trouble staying hydrated (we give her fluid injections to supplement her fluid intake). She also pees all over everything, but I guess that's not here nor there.
The problem now is that she's stopped drinking. Over the last few days she's been refusing the bowls I set out near her bed and the moving-water dispenser I keep stocked. Instead, she's been extremely insistent about wanting to drink from the bathtub tap, which I've tried to discourage because her balance is poor and she's fallen in the tub a few times.
This morning, she yowled and yowled and I finally gave in and turned the tap on. She struggled to reach it for thirty seconds, inching her head forward as her shaky legs slipped on the porcelain. Then she gave up and slunk back to the bedroom, giving me the most heartrending mew a cat ever cried.
I'm sorry to inflict that image on you all, but I'm sitting here crying at the keyboard and if I don't expel that from my mind's eye into words I'm going to be entirely, rather than approximately, useless for the rest of the day.
This is Precious (We Didn't Name Her) the cat, about a year ago, helping me write Hard Reset 2:
Current pics are not flattering. She's lost three of her seven pounds.
... I could really use some virtual hugs right now.
Update, 8/22:
After 19 loved and loving years, Precious (We Didn't Name Her) the cat has passed on peacefully, at home with her owners.
I'm ... okay, I think. Making the phone call to the vet was the hardest part. Being there with her at the end was hard, but the vet was kind and professional, and the event itself occurred quietly and with dignity. Kady and I both lost it a little while after the vet left, but by the time we buried her I think we'd gotten it all out of our system.
I've also had the afternoon so far to decompress; Kady and I went out afterward for a much-delayed lunch, and I've been fielding texts from local friends and family.
In a lot of ways I've been preparing for this moment all year. I miss her, but not enough to prolong her pain.
I'm gonna take the rest of the night easy, though ... sit at home and read, play some video games, maybe tune in to the Hugo Awards ceremony if I feel up to the drama.
Shit, dude. I know how hard it is to say goodbye to a pet.
You have my sympathies, and I'm always here to talk, if you need.
I'm sorry to hear that.
*hugs*
Though I'll admit I chuckled a bit at today's plan according to your phone. I hope that was intended to be black comedy. Now I'm thinking about Twilight writing a list planning for the grieving process.
3336815
Thank you.
3336818
*hug*
(It's actually the Momentum Google Chrome extension. And yes, some black humor, and a reminder to myself that it's okay to take some me time.)
I'm so sorry for your loss. It's always hardest at the beginning. Just remember that we're all behind you.
Oh my goodness.
I am so sorry, Horizon. I will gladly give you all the internet hugs I can. *hugs*
Oh god. My deepest sympathies, Horizon, losing a pet like this is never easy.
(Man, all of a sudden I'm missing my kitty Elizabeth anew all over again and she died like five years ago.)
As many virtual hugs as you can possibly accept. If the knowledge of people sharing your road makes things any easier, we have a cat with about three weeks left and I am crouching resolutely in the denial stage at the moment. God bless.
You have them. It’s awful to be where you’re at right now. Please hold on—it hurts, but you’re doing what’s right for her.
Very sorry to hear this. All my virtual hugs to you, today, and I'll say a silent toast to her when I'm drinking with my friends tonight.
*offers many hugs*
I know it feels awful, but you're doing the best thing you can do for her. Good luck.
That is really rough. I was a complete wreck the last time we lost a cat. (I ended up pouring all the pain into a story that's still probably the saddest thing I've ever written.) I know there's really nothing I can do to help, but I do know what you're going through. *hugs*
The hugs shall be doubled.
I remember having to take my cat into the vet and being informed it was best to euthanize her on the spot. My heart goes out to you.
Dude, I'm so sorry to hear that. There's nothing as heart-wrenching to me as losing a pet. You know it's the best thing, but it's still so difficult. I fell apart for days after we put our cat down, and I'm actually tearing up right now thinking about it. They are so much better than humans in some ways. I'm way more attached to my animals.
So, yeah. Hugs. I totally get how difficult it is and I wish you didn't have to go through it.
I'm not really a pet person, but even I feel for you, dude.
Hugs with deepest sympathies, mate
Hugs, man. It's always hard to lose a friend.
I'm so sorry for your loss. It's a horrible feeling, losing a pet. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.
*Hugs*
*hugs*
I'm so sorry to hear about that. Losing a pet sucks. If you need someone to talk to, or a virtual shoulder, you can always drop me a PM. I'll be here.
*more hugs*
=(
I'm deeply not looking forward to the day any of my pets go. At least you know she's really not having a good time; her struggles will be over.
Hugs, Horizon. I've walked this road, and will again someday.
I'm so sorry!
Hugs. It's an awful time for anyone who has to make that decision.
I still remember when I went upstairs one day, and found our cat had been twitching in a seizure for an unknown amount of time. She stayed that way all the way to the vet until euthanized. Even though there's probably nothing anyone could have done, I can't help but wonder if maybe she'd have been okay if only I'd happened to go upstairs earlier that afternoon than I had; it's not like there was any particular reason not to.
All the hugs, and my condolences. Losing fuzzy friends is always heartrending
I shall send you as many internet hugs as I possibly can, since I really know how that feels.
And as many more as you need.
You have my sincere condolences.
“Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift.”
― Mary Oliver
*hugs*
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Thank you, everyone. I ended up taking a (not entirely voluntary) nap and I'm eating a late lunch now; between those things I'm feeling much closer to okay.
My (soon-to-be-ex-)wife will be joining me tomorrow for the final appointment and burial, and we're on good terms, so I'll have a shoulder at the event. Making the call was hard, but I'm at peace with it being the right thing to do now.
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My sympathy in return for your own losses. To 3336830 in particular, please drop me a line if you need some vent space when the time comes.
I lost my first dog earlier this year. I feel you very hard right now.
Take all my hugs. All of them.
awh D: hugs
*gives you as many hugs as he can*
I'm so sorry for your loss - you can certainly have all of my hugs. I had to make the same decision a few years ago for my cat, who was like family to my parents, my siblings, and even their kids. He was with me before my marriage, and a little after it collapsed, and then circumstances forced me to give him to my brother, and then to my niece, which was terribly hard except that I knew he was with good people. We all loved that cat, and I still miss him, but he was suffering and it was very much the right thing to do. I guess I'm trying to say that I understand as much as it's possible for me to, and I'm relieved to hear that you have some support going in.
I'm really sorry to hear about that. Seeing a pet in pain and knowing that the only thing you can do to help them is going to take them away from you forever is absolutely gut-wrenching. I've been through it a few times with my dogs, and you have my condolences.
*hugs*
I'm so sorry for your loss
3337275
Thank you very much, and you may now forget all about it. The last thing I want is for you to have an obligation you feel you need to keep track of. Save tomorrow for tomorrow and all.
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*hugs*
--Sweetie Belle
I know EXACTLY what you've gone through. I lost my cat to the same thing a year and a half ago. *hugs* My deepest condolences to you, and you will certainly be in my thoughts. Feel free to send a PM too if you feel like talking.
All the hugs, Horizon. I'll be keeping you and Precious in my thoughts. Take care of yourself.
I'm sorry to hear that, especially since I've met the cat in question. I've always gotten along well with pets, especially cats, and can sympathize. At least her suffering will be over. Let me know if there's anything I can do...
--arcum42
Sorry to hear of this. I hope you'll be okay soon.
Lots and lots of virtual hugs sent your way!
*Hugs*
They're insufficient, but the best we can offer.
When it rains, it pours. My deepest condolences to you.
The thing about pets is, you can't help them becoming part of the family, and even though you know you'll outlive them, it doesn't help when the time comes. Be strong, and remember to remember the good times.
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Thank you for your good wishes. See post update.
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See post update. Thank you again.
3339914
*yet more hugs*
3339914 No problem. We'll always be here to lean on.
*hugs*
3339914 Sorry for your lost, but I'm glad to hear that it was peaceful and surrounded by family. We'll have a drink in Precious' honor at the next BABSCon.
3339922
Deal.
(Unless we meet at another con before then. I'll be at Convolution in October, at the same hotel BABSCon uses.)
Hugs, man, major hugs.