Donut Joe keeps his store open on Hearth’s Warming Eve. And why not? He doesn’t have anywhere else to be, and neither do the tired, bitter ponies who find their way inside.

But the Eve is young, and strange things lie ahead. Who knows what might happen on a night like tonight?

(Inspired by the song "Old City Bar," by Trans-Siberian Orchestra)

Reviewed by TheifofZ here.

From the unraveled psyche behind The Corner of (Our) Eyes, Eyes Wide Shut, and Schadenfreude, comes a new adventure comedy of horrific proportions!

Ever since Sunset Shimmer, nay, Starswirl the Bearded himself crossed the threshold into the human realm, there have been traces of magic among us. And since that time, there have been those who stood against the creatures of the dark that would seek to do us harm.

Unfortunately, right now 'those' people are a group of high school delinquents who can barely keep out of detention long enough to get the job done. Armed with medium-speed wits, a minimal grasp of magic and monsters (mostly from the internet), and whatever heavy or sharp things they can get their hands on, these boys will stop at nothing to disperse the atrocities that threaten their daily lives.

Suddenly, violently, and all over the frickin' place.

One year ago, the immortal moon lich died.

One year ago, Twilight Sparkle the so-called human moved to Ponyville.

Rarity never believed that, of course. The "human" bit. After all, no human would willingly choose to live in a town of monsters, and no amount of magic or hunting orders or Plans with a capital "P" would ever change her mind on that—especially when said human was so constantly collected and calm.

But... if she wasn't human, what kind of monster could she be?

Written for the Raritwi-deprived Monochromatic, who so graciously let me cook for 1/4th of a year. Huge thanks to Swan Song for prereading, and to everyone I pestered for synonyms whenever the last of my braincells refused to word. Cover art by me!

It's an interesting situation - it's not every day that you get to see the outcome of the road not taken, what might have been. As the married Applejack and Rainbow Dash talk to the dating Applejack and Rarity, they get a bit competitive over who made the better choice.

The other Rainbow Dash and Rarity think it was obviously them.

[A RariDash story that ate what started as a commission for Spamotron]

In a ploy to convince her parents that she’s straight, Twilight asks Microchips to become her pretend boyfriend. Without telling her real girlfriend, Sunset.

Microchips calculates a 99% chance that he dies tonight.

Judge’s Prize winner in the Equestria Girls Spring Fling Contest.

Pre-read by my heterosexual life partner, Posh.

Nightmare Moon returns and is hit once again with the Elements of Harmony rendering her a mischievous little filly.
Much to Nightmare Moon’s annoyance, Anon thinks she's cute as all hell and is the only one willing to put up with her antics and evil, so Celestia tasks him with reforming the bundle of misery and mischief.

Cover Image is by EvetsSteve, may he rest in peace.
Chapters 1-21 were converted into prose from my greentext stories with the help of Nav/WhatMustIDo

Winona is a good dog, so she wants Applejack to be happy.

Rarity makes Applejack happy, even if both of them are too dumb to realize it.

To make her human happy, Winona will have to work with her counterpart, Opalescence.

Featured 11/12/2023 - 1/14/2023!

Anon takes over Spike’s job of transcribing Twilight’s friendship reports. He does exactly what you’d expect.

Companion fic containing Celestia’s replies up to Letter 120 - To: Anon, From HRH Sunbutt written by Snow