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In a ploy to convince her parents that she’s straight, Twilight asks Microchips to become her pretend boyfriend. Without telling her real girlfriend, Sunset.
Microchips calculates a 99% chance that he dies tonight.
An entrant in the Equestria Girls Spring Fling Contest.
Pre-read by my heterosexual life partner, Posh.
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I disagree.
Oh dear.
I predict an oncoming shitstorm. I'm intrigued to see where this goes.
11552202
Nope. If the author says so, you're guilty.
Fun fact, at one point, I had replaced a generic greeting in the text with “nyanpasu.”
This almost made it into the story, but Dubs caught and removed it at the last minute, an act of betrayal for which there is no forgiveness.
#ReleaseTheNyanpasuCut
11553458 i disagree about the heterosexual part.
I have absolutely no idea why Trixie showed up, but enjoyed it anyway.
11553474
You are most definitely heterosexual. Otherwise, why wouldn't you respond to all of my creepy advances?
Checkmate, poshtheists.
This was great! Loved the interactions and the conflict. Also, your narration is absolute gold.
Goddamn it Twi.
Goddamn it Sunset.
Goddamn it Trixie.
11553456
11553479
11553522
11553523
11553538
11553539
All of this.
Trixie was perfect LMAO.
11553474
Would the story be any different if this had stayed in? #ReleaseTheNyanpasuCut.
11553565
For sure.
11553582
Very.
"Also, you can literally defy physics at will."
"Yeah, I try not to think too hard about that. Not after last time."
Oh, you sweet summer child.
This may be the most Sci-Twi sentence I've read all week.
Somehow, I'm still reading after this sentence.
Lovely bit of insanity. Microchips has a rich potential future in fantasy world design if the whole "building toaster-based deathbots" thing doesn't work out for him. Thank you for this. (I am sad to see a sleazy Timber, but he works for the needs of the story.)
Also, to the person downvoting comments: Please, for your own sake, get a life. And this is coming from the guy who makes Magic cards out of My Little Pony content for fun.
11552202
With which part?
Nice job on landing the comedic beats just right.
Also bonus points for gratuitous use of the phrase "God damn it" to good effect.
Howdy, hi~!
I don't know what the hell I expected but this wasn't it, this was *definitely* better. Banger comedic timing on this one and a super enjoyable read. The crossing of the romantic interests was glorious and loved this whole thing. Some of the zingers in here were just bonkers and the best shit I've read ever. Well done you, glorious bastard.
This was a delightful read. Both the pacing and the timing are just perfect, and I appreciate how absurd it gets. Had me laughing a good number of times. Excellent work!
11553608 heterosexual
11553599 irrevocably so
11553523 I am going to reenact upon you the scene from Mad Men where they drive a lawnmower over the English guy’s foot. Then you’ll be One-Foot Danny, the scorn and pity of children all the world only.
EDIT: Not Jared Harris; some other English guy.
Saw it coming; laughed anyway.
Didn't see the ending coming; laughed at that, too.
11553802
Damn, y'all's gay as hell!
If Twilight broke Moondancer-kohai's heart, I won't forgive her!
This is fantastic and I highly suggest you enter it into the Spring Fling contest.
Also I desperately want a sequel now about Micro Chips and Trixie's date
11553806
I mean, if that's what you're into, that's what you're into. I'm not here to judge.
A delightful sine wave of a fic going back and forth between earnest emotion and madcap chaos. Well done.
*Looks at comments*
Ah, yes, someone not only downvoting a story but going over and blanket-downvoting every single comment on the story regardless of content, then either conspiring with others to do the same or, more likely, simply using alternate accounts to do so multiple times...
Truly the sign of a mature and reasonable individual. Doesn't remotely make me doubt the story's dislike number being in any way reflective of reality.
In any case, really neat story - very nice blend of silliness and sincerity. Also, while I do on principle agree with 11553608 about Timber's portrayal, I'm willing to give it a pass since it's a comedy and so someone being... probably out-of-character is a lot less glaring than it might be in a more serious work.
...okay, I will absolutely admit, that's largely an excuse to enjoy him being s**t on due to a bias against the character I'm all too aware of, but I think it's still true. Even if only accidentally.
Also... well, I did predict Timber showing up, but Trixie really caught me off-guard in the best way possible and kept me off-guard throughout her bits in the most hilarious way possible. And that last line... I have to be honest, as funny as it is, I'm honestly curious what they'd be like as a couple.
Oh, it's a crackship to be sure (though believe me, that is in no way an insult), but oddly enough, I can see them being bizarrely good for each other. He would have someone to bolster his confidence (since no one but the best could have caught her interest, naturally) and bring him into more social contexts while never being afraid to take the spotlight away from him when he needs it, and she would have someone kind and patient enough to indulge her eccentricities and help her with her many, many issues... but also pedantic enough to rein her in and call her out when she needs it.
Plus, we know they share at least one interest (not that that's a necessity, but it can make things easier) in-story and, given that I am one-hundred percent sure that Trixie either already plays not-D&D or, if she didn't but tried it, would take to it like Pinkie to the Wonka factory, I'd say it's more than one. So yeah, I honestly kind of like the idea of them getting together. Outlandish, certainly, but then when speculating on ships for either of these two, could anything not be?
We need more Microchips stories.
was actually expecting Timber Spruce and Trixie to both contact him, that would make quite an interesting sequel, wouldn't it?
And the story was really funny, good friendshipping and loving!
11554031 Moondancer is not in this story. Don’t worry. She’s safe.
Just the right mix of ridiculous and all-too-believable. Twi's line about anxiety medications was pitch-perfect, too!
This story is the epitome of disaster bi energy.
Twiggles, you are a delightful disaster.
Our society would be nothing without stereotypes and prejudices.
This was the greatest shitstorm i have ever seen, and it was really fun!
Welp Im back with the milk, *looks around*
I'm gone for like five years and this is the shit you guys are writing now.
Neat.
This was great! Loved the ending bit too, tied together very well!
HAHAHAHAHAHA! The only thing I would have changed is instead of a Boombox (and yes, I got the reference) would have been Sunset holding up her phone of Bluetooth speaker. Trixie wants more nerd love.
Absolutely loved it. Two nerds pretending to act normal will never get old, and the execution here is spot-on. Ya had me laughing out loud a couple of times.
As mentioned by others the anxiety medication part is just so Twilight, absolutely perfect.
The pog part made me sigh but in the best way. It's like when your dad tells the same joke for the 50th time with new company and laughs at his own joke every time, you can't help but join him.
I'm glad Microchips got something out of it in the end. Trixie wanting to go on a date after being punched just somehow works and I can't explain why, it just fits her character in a hilarious way. Also, somehow you made me interested in reading a shipfic between her and Micro. How in the flying shit did you manage to do that!?
Loved it. Excellent job!
Okay, that was very funny and entertaining. I really liked the role of Microchips in this, and also my stomach hurts from the fight between the Twilight suitors
a good read, might of preferred Twilight's parent's knowing about the deception from the get go and just letting her play this out until she was ready to tell them,but still good, Sunset and the boombox was great
As I put it in a comment prior to you entering this fic in the contest, this is indeed a delightful tonal sine wave of a fic. The characterization of both Sci-Twi and Micro Chips feel incredibly on point, their similarities noticeable but their overall behavior clearly distinct – MC never feels like a genderswap of Twi. He gets a nice amount of both depth and the opportunity to be humorous, both in-story and through his third-person narration (I giggled every time the story referenced his likely violent murder by Sunset). I really appreciate the way you handle their friendship, and MC’s big motivation being to simply make better friends with Twilight was a really nice touch. (The way they prep for their fake relationship by matching trivia answers but not bothering to figure out how they even met was outstanding.) And when the climax hits, the way things escalate into a cartoonish cavalcade of madness was hysterical, before things ultimately end on a note I really liked. Thank you for submitting, and congrats on your Judge Prize!
This dealt me psychic damage.
What the actual fuck did I read.
Have an updoot.
If she found out, he'd be dead!
Shouldn't that say 'hmm' over 'hrm' ?
she'd*
Damn!
Welp, they're in hot water now.
Someone should seriously stop them both any of them get seriously hurt.
Ngl, I wasn't sure I'd like this story at all, but I did. It was also quite interesting too.
This was pretty entertaining. Why all the downvotes?
That was fantastic! Microchips is just such a bro, it was super wholesome seeing him do his best and being such a good friend.
11552202
lmao this comment is better than the whole story. 10/10 best way to say "I'm gay" I've heard yet