Delinquency

by Daemon McRae

Level Two: The Rainbooms

Level Two: The Rainbooms

Treble stared at the page of the wide open, old-ass book on the desk in front of him. A musty leather-bound monster of a book, it was Bones’ grandfather’s work. He’d been labeled a crazy old man years before he was even old, but had filled pages and pages of journal after journal with all kinds of paranormal research, mythologies, and notes. Most of which was a mixed bag as to whether or not it actually worked, but they’d been using the old man’s research for a year and they were still alive.

This particular page depicted a monstrosity of many heads, arms, and weapons. Swords, clubs, and even large boulders rested in its plethora of hands, and each face was a mighty scowl. The legend below it was chicken scratch to almost anyone but Bones, who’s handwriting was exactly the same. According to their resident “freakyologist”, as Rubble liked to call the gaunt teenager, this thing was called a-

“What the FUCK is a Hectacondries?”

Spooks sighed, rubbing his temple. “It’s pronounced Hecatoncheires. Also known as the Hundred-Handed Ones.”

“Gee, I fuckin wonder why,” Rubble groaned.

“BOYS,” Cheerilee barked from her desk. “Language!”

“Sorry, Miss Cheerilee,” the boys chorused. They were, technically, in detention. However, having saved aforementioned teacher from a swarm of Bya’kee over the Spring holiday, she tended to let them alone when they were working on “something god awful and evil and I want it away from my students, so kill it quickly.” She was their favorite teacher, easily.

Bones jabbed a specific paragraph of horrible scrawled writing with a finger. “These guys are legendary Greek giants. They’re basically walking hurricanes with swords. I mean, these things were stronger than the titans and they supposedly guard the gates of Tartarus.”

Dusty leaned back and whistled hard. “How the… hell are we going to take one of these things down?!”

“We’re not,” Spooks said simply. The other three boys sighed in relief. “We’re taking down three.”

“OH COME ON!” Rubble barked, throwing his hands in the air.

“Will you shut up about your stupid monsters?!” Growled a very aggressive voice from the other corner of the room.

“Says the siren!” Treble shot back. “How’s that warg bite healing, by the way?”

Aria opened her mouth to protest, then grumbled something they couldn’t quite make out. Most likely a not very creative threat.

Treble returned his attention to the book, sparing some side-eye for his scary friend. “No seriously, how do you expect us to take down three massive giants of literally Olympic proportions?”

“That’s the good news,” Spooky mused, smiling. It was one of three smiles they knew him for: this one being the genuine happy smile, which was still a little creepy. He also had an “I’m doing this to scare you” setting and a “Run” setting. “We don’t need to fight three massive giants.”

“The bad news?” Dusty asked, waiting for the other car-sized shoe to drop.

“We just have to fight a hundred and fifty flesh golems before they can merge into three storm giants with lots of pointy objects.”

Dusty just sat there with his mouth open while the other two boys voiced mixed protests. Bones waited for them to get the steam out, then explained, “Look. It’s still not even one hundred percent going to happen. But according to the old man-”

“Who’s the ultimate fucking-”

“RUBBLE!”

“-Sorry! Freakin’ coin flip of viable information,” Rubble finished, with a glance at the teacher.

“Yes, according to him, this is the first time since the Greek empire feel that both the planets and leylines will be aligned-”

“Nope! Nope nope nope we are not getting into old ass planetary alignment once every bajillion years prophecy bullshit again,” groaned Treble. “Just skip the mumbo-jumbo and tell us how to make this not a thing.”

Bones sighed, lamenting his friend’s lack of interest in mythology and ancient literature. “Right, fine, whatever. If this book is right, we’ve got a couple of options. We can either destroy the ‘core of the revival’, whatever the fuck that is, or we can take on a hundred and fifty single-minded flesh golems most likely armed to the teeth until there isn’t enough of them to make even one giant, and the whole thing will fail anyway.”

“'Core of the revival', huh? The hell does that mean?” Rubble mused, trying his best to read the book, and failing miserably.

“I have no idea,” Spooks groaned. “This is just like, the reference guide to all his other crazy crap. I think I know a couple of books that might have more answers. Dusty, you’re on internet duty.”

The brown-haired boy leaned his elbow pads on the desk. “Oh yay. The internet. So reliable.”

Treble shrugged. “About as reliable as Old Man Bones, so you might as well. How about me?”

Spooks gave him a short glance, then addressed Rubble. “RM, we’re gonna need a lot of weapons. Like, heavy beatsticks and sharp things.”

Grinning wildly, Rubble punched his palm. “Awww yisssss, armory duty.”

The wannabe musician, looking put off at getting ignored, groaned, “So what does that leave me with? All that’s left is- oh. Oh no. Nuh-uh.”

Spooks nodded. “Unfortunately, you’re the most interpersonally capable guy we have. Treble, you’re on Rainboom duty.”

“Fuck.”

“TREBLE!”

“Sorry!”

=============================

Treble hovered his hand over the door to the music room. He could hear the amicable chatter of the girls on the other side, discussing what sounded like a whole lot of high school nonsense. Why couldn’t that be me? Why do I gotta be on Team Monster Hunter? He sighed heavily, then knocked. Very, very lightly. “Oh well guess they’re busy I should come back later,” he reasoned, turning to walk away. Then the door flew open. Of course it was Pinkie Pie who heard him.

“What’s up? Oh, hi Treble!” the pink party girl greeted.

Treble flinched, having been caught, and spun on his heel. “Oh hey, Pinkie. You guys sound busy, I’ll just catch up with you later, so-”

“Nuh-uh, we were just talking about cake!”

A tomboyish voice called out from the room. “No, Pinkie, we were talking about the Fall Formal!”

Pinkie leaned her head back into the room. “Yeah, but the Fall Formal’s a party, Dashie, and parties have cakes, so we’re talking about cake!”

I hate how much sense that makes to me. He smiled forcefully. Pinkie didn’t seem to notice the effort it took him. “Right, so you girls obviously have a lot to deal with right now, I wouldn’t want to bother you.”

Another, slightly sultry voice rang out. One Treble was really hoping wouldn’t be here. “You might as well come in and tell us what’s going on, Treble. Come on in.”

Treble’s head dipped to his chest, and he walked slowly into the room. Sure enough, there she was, leaning on a desk, mile-long legs stretched out in front of her: Sunset Shimmer, the unfairly gorgeous root of all of their problems over the last year. Actually, the last three years, given her track record as a bully before all the magic shenanigans started happening. Treble greeted her, and the rest of the group, with a small wave, and took a seat in a cheap plastic chair near the door. He noticed that all of the girls in the band were present, because of course they were. There was even an addition: Flash Sentry was standing near the back of the room, next to Applejack. They both had their guitars out, and one was apparently teaching the other… something. Treble didn’t really care which.

Running a hand through his long, shaggy hair, Treble sighed. “Alright, so… there might be a thing.”

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “Of course there is. When is there not a thing with you guys?”

US guys?! Taking a deep breath and ignoring the obvious flawed logic, he pressed on, “Spooks found some stuff in the old man’s journals. He thought maybe something would happen on or around the Fall Formal, or Hallow’s Eve, so he did some digging. Turns out there’s this thing called a… how did he pronounce it? Heca...ton...chairs?”

Twilight raised an eyebrow, looking up from her book. “Hecatoncheires, the Greek giants of the storms? You’re joking.”

“The heck is a… whatever you jus’ said?” Applejack asked, a very confused expression on her face.

The chair creaked as Treble leaned back into it, letting it fall against the wall as he rested his head on a cork message board behind him. “Apparently they’re also called the ‘hundred-handed’ ones. They’re giants with a hundred arms and fifty faces, and there’s three of them. They’re supposed to be stronger than the titans.” He then went on to explain Old Man Bones’ theory about the flesh golems and the ritual, and their ideas to prevent it. “Rusty’s coming the web looking for some corroboration, or more information, or you know, probably porn. Spooks said he might have a couple more journals lying around with some more detail, but given the old man’s track record, it’s gonna be one of those ‘prepare for everything hope for nothing’ deals.”

Flash looked around the room like he was hoping it was a big joke. “You guys… uh… you’re pulling my leg, right? Like there’s not really a big army of flesh monsters with swords and maces and rocks trying to merge into one supergiant hurricane monster thing?”

The group stared at him flatly, waiting for him to catch up. Not responding verbally, they returned to the conversation. “Alright, Treble, what kind of chances are we looking at?” Sunset asked plainly, her arms crossed and expression stern. She and the other Rainbooms weren’t a fan of Treble’s motley crew.

Treble returned the glare. “Like 50/50, so knowing our luck a hundo percent.”

Rarity, rather pensive and quiet until now, spoke up. “Honestly dear, even for you, this sounds a little far-fetched. I mean, why should we believe this?”

Sitting up straight, Treble started counting on his fingers. “The Bya-kee, the wargs, the haunted mask, the goblins, the werewolf, the many, MANY ghosts, the cultists, the Tommyknockers-”

“OK!” Rainbow barked. “We get it! Look, just tell us what to point the Rainbow Friendship Laser Cannon thingy at and stand back,” the athlete said dismissively.

Her only response was an unappreciative glare. “Look,” Treble groaned, “I’m just here to tell you what I know so you all don’t jump out at us at some random interval while we’re working and nearly get someone killed, again.”

“I said I was sorry ‘bout that!” Applejack yelled defensively.

“I know,” Treble placated, holding up his hands in his own defense. “I’m just saying it’s better we keep you in the loop from now on. Now look, I’ve done my job, and I’m gonna go home. I’m already here like, two hours longer than I wanted to be, so I’m out.” He stood up and moved for the door, throwing it open and walking out before anyone could say anything else.

He got about ten steps before he heard Sunset call after him. “Treble, wait a second!”

Oh my GOD go away you perfect disaster. Keeping his distaste to himself, as well as he could, he turned to see Shimmer jogging up to him. She stopped just a couple of feet short. Treble noticed she smelled like oranges today. “What?”

“Look, I know you don’t like me, and I know why,” Sunset said, crossing her arms again and resuming her disapproving stare. “What I don’t get is why you’re so cold to all of my friends. And frankly, I don’t care. But I’m telling you, enough is enough. Either start being a team player or-”

“Or what?!” Treble barked, louder than he wanted to. Sunset took a surprised step back. “You’ll Rainbow Laser me, too? Or maybe you’ll use those fancy-schmancy super powers you found in a cave that you could be using to save lives, but instead reserve for movie studio drama and making your classes easier! Go ahead, what?! I’m not even ON your team! I’m on MY team! The guys without powers that have been fighting our way through stupid numbers of horrible monstrosities that wouldn’t even BE HERE if not your your stupid magic! So please, do tell me what you’re going to do if I don’t stop being a big ol’ meanie to the girls whose mess I CAN’T SEEM TO STOP CLEANING UP!”

Sunset looked both taken aback and slightly offended, but mostly at a loss for words. Which Treble took as the perfect moment to walk away.

=================================

Sunset returned to the group, significantly deflated. She plopped down into the chair Treble had left vacant, sighing like she was a tire letting the air out. Which is exactly what she felt like.

The other girls just looked between each other, having heard most if not all of the conversation. Flash, to his credit, spoke up first. “You shouldn’t listen to that a-hole. You girls do plenty of saving! Like, you’ve saved the universe!”

Sunset rolled her eyes so hard her head rolled with them. “Yeah, which wouldn’t even BE in danger if I hadn’t dragged Equestrian magic into this world.”

Flash didn’t really have a response to that, so instead he offered, “Want me to go talk some sense into him? I think I can handle some 80’s rock wannabe.”

Rarity scoffed. “Yes dear, I don’t doubt you could take him. But then that brute friend of his, what’s his name, Rubble Maker? He’d most likely break a trash can over your head, then shove you in it and roll you into traffic.”

Applejack puffed up. “Yeah, but I could take him.”

“Only with your powers,” Sunset argued. "And that would just give them more reason to hate us, using our abilities to beat them up instead of helping them save people. They may be a bunch of crazy violent weirdos, but they are trying to do the right thing.”

Pinkie Pie huffed. “And we’re not?! I mean, those meanies just go around punching monsters in the face! At least we all try to be like, positive and peaceful about it! We solve all our problems with friendship, for serious!”

A small voice spoke up from a far corner, where Fluttershy was playing with a few of the group’s pets. “Well, I mean, it’s not like you can make friends with a slime monster. We tried that. It was really, really gross.”

The group shuddered at the memory. Then Sunset groaned, and leaned back in her chair much like Treble had. “Are we… are we doing the right thing with our powers? I mean, they don’t even have reliable magic and they just keep fighting. We can like, fly and stuff. We have all kinds of power, but here we are talking about what to where to the dance while they’re planning to fight another doomsday scenario that might hot even happen just because they feel like they should. What does that say about us?”

Twilight closed her book and took a deep breath. “It says we don’t chase every little conspiracy theory that we find, and we save our powers for when we know something bad’s going to happen instead of jumping at shadows. They might have their heads in the right place, but they run face first into almost everything, armed to the teeth with whatever they hope works. Not to mention all the wanton destruction that follows them around, whether it’s their fault or not. And if we did start using our powers every time we thought something was going to happen, how long would it be until people started being afraid of us? Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?”

The group looked at her strangely, until Sunset translated: “Who guards the guardians?”

Fluttershy piped up, “Sometimes I think they do.”

Comments

[Twilight Connor]

This. I like this. I NEED MOAR!!!!!!¡!

[Deadmetal]

This is really good so far. I especially enjoy the fact that the main characters seem to butt heads with the girls due to past problems. I like this. Great work.

[VikingOtaku6]

I love Fluttershy's comment, which make much clearer that The Delinquents are the Ones that Guard the Guardians. Tangentially, I wanted to read the translation a bit different, considering how much I love Terry Pratchett's Discworld series. Thud! was an excellent book.

[Alondro]

“Well, I mean, it’s not like you can make friends with a slime monster. We tried that. It was really, really gross.”

Dash looked thoughtful, "Though it was also kinda kinky..."

In every dimension, Dashie's a perv.

[The Hermit]

I wonder if the wet bread group of misfits get any abilities.

[BurningSkies]

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?"

The group looked at her strangely, until Sunset translated: “Who guards the guardians?”

So... custodian is derived from the Latin word for guardian? Ok then.