Epilogue: Crow's Feet
A gentle breeze made its way through the empty field. Grass swayed in the wind, moving back and forth in an elegant dance. There were overcast clouds, making it seem dark even though it was only noon. Animals went about their business, collecting food, playing around, or just lounging in trees and bushes.
The quiet atmosphere was suddenly ended by a strange object appearing in the center of the field. A tear in reality seemed to form out of nothing, remaining open long enough for creatures to make their way through the rift. They were small, black, and agile, cawing loudly as they went through the portal.
Crows. A large number of them flew through the opening and into the sky. They fanned out in different directions, already aware of their purpose and objective.
As the last of the birds exited the tear, a figure stepped through as well. He wore a black robe and hood that completely concealed his face. The seal of a sword adorned his hood with a red streak running down the middle. A large coffin was chained to his back, but didn't seem to hinder his movement.
The portal closed behind the man as he looked around his new environment. He instantly didn't like the place, it was too earth like, and not in the good way.
A large raven flew to the man and gingerly landed on his shoulder. It cawed loudly, almost in a questioning manner.
"This is where they said he was sent." the man replied, his voice cold and unemotional.
The raven cawed again, this time more skeptically.
"No, this is the place. Those two blathering fools may have played their little games with DeWitt, but they know better than to toy with me." he responded.
The raven cawed twice more.
"The others will arrive once the preparations are complete. Until then, finding him is my first priority."
The bird cawed quietly.
"My brother would not die easily, but if that is indeed the case....." the dark figure drew a sword and held it at eye level, examining the craftsmanship.
"Then no mercy will be granted whatever heathens reside here."
One of the crows flew low and hovered by the hooded man, cawing excitedly before flying east.
"It seems as though we've found our first stop." the man said, sheathing his weapon and starting off in the direction the bird had flown.
The wind blew across the field as the man shifted into a flock of crows and disappeared from sight.
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So are you gonna wright a story with the raven guy now?
Oh please do please.
I don't want him killing all the ponies.
I really don't.
i'm assuming that this is a teaser for your next story with thomas brother?
DO IT DO IT DO ITTTTTTTTTTTT
DO EEEEEEEETTTTTTT
I hope Thomas survived and will stop his brother from doing something drastic
oooooooo he better not kill ponys that said yesssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Oh gosh, I don't know what to expect but the ending to this story was amazing. Hope you make a sequel!
Okay...
For one, I hope that it turns out similar to Thomas, with our Zealot actually turning out to be a decent guy. Would be sad to see a massacre. I grew attached to Thomas, and I'd prefer not to have a Red Dead Redemption style ending, except with brothers instead of father and son. Thomas was awesome, and while I'm hoping that the self-detonation wasn't the end of him, I can accept it if his brother follows in his glorious footsteps.
Two, if you don't write a sequel, so help me I am setting up the events of Columbia in modern-day just to open a tear into your room and smack your forehead for passing up the opportunity. This is just too awesome to pass up.
Hey y'all! Just to clarify; yes I am planning on doing a sequel, but no I'm not planning on having Mr. Crow go around slaughtering everypony.
2488857
Oh thank the All for the little victories.
24.media.tumblr.com/b1f72425dcee396707466a9064ac6032/tumblr_mke56sZfSa1qb1rzvo1_1280.png
2488857
FOR OUR FALLEN BROTHER, LET NO MERCY BE SHOWN TO THE HEATHENS THAT WERE RESPONSIBLE FOR HIS DEATH![/b]
Great job, I loved the story and cant wait for a sequel
Thanks to everyone giving feedback. I'm stoked you guys enjoyed it!
I hope this means a sequel soon...
2492067
It would be more funny this way.
I guess it was for the best that Thomas died. Because at the the end of the game of Bioshock Infinite. Booker and Elizabeth manages to defeat Comstock in all the different realities by killing Booker himself and everything that Comstock made never happened, including all the enemies, vigors, Columbia, the Songbird, the allies they met along the way, and Thomas himself would never had become a firemen.
Slight Spoilers Follow:
I just finished reading this story from start to finish, and I LOVED IT! One of the best stories I've read on here yet!
I was looking for a good "Bioshock: Equestria" story, and I'm glad this one was the first that caught my eye! You combined elements from both franchises pretty well I think.
I think the idea that you made a fireman the protagonist was a pretty inventive idea. And Thomas was a very well developed, well rounded character I think. You had him set-up pretty well. You did a good job telling the story from his point of view, sharing his thoughts and everything.
The story was very well-written, with almost no mechanical errors I can think of. All the dramatic moments and action moments were well paced and didn't drag, and all worked in pretty well. It's nice how you worked in some funny moments too, like when he first met the crusaders and they thought he was a furnace, and he thought he was in Hell, and the parts with Pinkie Pie. The whole peanut-butter & jelly scene was pretty funny too! I also thought the fire puns in each chapter title was pretty creative and clever.
The antagonist, Scorn, was pretty cool too, very threatening. And his effect on the plot, all his attacks, worked in pretty well. And I loved how you worked in a mythical creature, that big ophiotaurus, into this! And the fight with it was great, and I thought it was cool how Thomas finished it off!
Again, the pacing was great. I like how Tom had to go back and ask the dragon for help from the beginning towards the end. I like how it started off bright and cheerful, and it got darker as it went on. I love stories that can do that.
I love how you used each character. All the ponies were kept in character pretty well.
My only complaints: I maybe would have liked to see a little more of the mane six, and I think they all took his brutal methods a little too well. Especially Twilight. As a Princess especially, I would think that she would have tried to reason with the bandits, maybe use that as a distraction during the camp scene. I guess the way you did address that was pretty good though.
Also, I'm not sure if all that necromancer stuff was needed. I would have settled for something like "Vigors are only meant for humans. There's no telling what would happen if animals took it... least of all horses!" Although I guess the necromancer stuff does give an explanation as to how Scorn was getting stronger.
And it all leads up to a really sad, somber ending that I think was pulled off very well. I wasn't quite crying, but it was very touching.
Overall, great job! And I can't wait to read the sequel! You did a great job getting us hyped for it with that epilogue!
2492067
I remember at that last chapter I was listening to this music below. It was good for the fighting part, and then 6:00 and on set the perfect mood for the sad ending.
I often listened to this during a lot of the fighting scenes:
2615053 Thank you so much for taking the time to let me know your thoughts on the story!
I'm happy that you enjoyed it and I'm even happier that you provided me with things that I can improve on, as it will help me become a better writer. 
4447792 The difficult life of a pyromaniac.
4562236 It's funny, I actually didn't know it was in anything until I started reading comments. I thought it was the most random mythical creature I could find, haha.
dis gunna be good.
I thought the Firemen where criminals sealed up in a metal suit which burns them to no end?
5415571 Yeah that's typically true, but in this story's case, I decided to run with a few people willingly donning the outfit... Minus the whole eternal burning thing.
5416793 Oh well, you did a good job making him a hero, kinda nearly cried when I read the part when he died.