Lulzies
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After seeing what a regular Bouncer and Rosie can do, I kinda want to see one of those black-and-red Elite ones taking on major enemies of Equestria... Like the entire griffin kingdom, all at once.
I think this was better than "Minion of Ares" since you have worked a bit more on the background and plot. (I can't wait for the next chapter...
)
Even though this is a sidestory to MoA, it still seems to have originality, which is quite schocking, all the other sidestories I've read who's made by a different author always has it's similarities, but this is just original. (Don't worry, it's in a good way.)
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Backstory wise, it fills ine some holes. As far as flow is concerned, it had its hiccups and was confuzzling with tenses at times.
Gonna watch this.
A sequel YESSSSSS
14 favorites within several hours...
RIDING OTHERS' FAME, HO!
small addendum to my previous comment: I like where this is going, but I have to say that the links should be better structured, or made into actual links; see the example below. All in all, the story structure is sound, but the background music is too clumped together, and should not be used as story dividers. Other than that, looks good.
Anyways, there you have it, my (very short) tutorial on music placement in stories.
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Noted, making fixes now.
Gosh dern all these hyper links
I wanna see them go on an adventure! XD Like to the Zebra lands, or Griffin Kingdom, or the Dragon highlands, or... Somewhere! Away! Where ponies won't get hurt. Yeah. Please?
MOAR!!! Please?
eh ! different writting style ! not bad though maybe more in the way what could think a Big Daddie (mister bouncer was still cool, don't take it bad Nether if you read this)
ah.. well, look like Mister Rosie isn't dead
You have all my attention from right now !
There are a lot of grammatical erros. I'll point them out eventually (if you want.)
MOAR
yes just yes
This is my new favourite Bioshock pony crossover series....well the only Bioshock pony crossover I read lol
But still THIS IS AWSOME
imageshack.us/a/img33/5764/likethischapter.jpg
Love it
all i can think about is the big daddy doing this>>
with that big daddy doll
Words cannot describe the feels.
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/312/893/8ee.png
hehehehehe i see what you did there, BUT i have to say bouncer big daddies are my fav cuz you know stick with originals, but I LOVE ALL BIG DADDIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Loved how it tied in w/ MoA, although I don't recall the Rosie hearing the Bouncer's call at the beginning. (I probably missed it) But also I like the more serious tone this is tackling onto rather than MoA. Overall loved it!
You know this can't just end like this, unless there's another writer working the next part, to which I say "Gimmie!"
I wonder what's gonna happen now that Rosie has found his little sister? Good job by the way.
I know the picture is a Bouncer, but it has Sweetie Belle and it goes with the feeling at the end of the chapter.
fc09.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2011/355/2/4/welcome_home_by_gimpcowking-d4jtqot.jpg
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dis guy gets it
Nice chapter, stupid guards should be able to read body language. Slow and searching, they surround it. he warns them and they attack. Silly guards
Sweetie will see the problem when he expects her to gather ADAM. Or do the sisters choose to gather and expect the Daddy to stand guard?
Huh it says incomplete ad it is very well done. Have this thumb and star I am tracking this piece.
So in reality Sweetie is the actual sister while Bloom just got unlucky.
I'm just waiting for the Rumbler.
What a day that'll be.
Or, god forbid, a Lancer.
Loved the music, really sets the mood.
I like what you did with the line there at the end regarding having a "Big Daddy"
Oh Sweetie, you adorable little lovable moron...
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Heyooo!
Oh man, with the music this fic is creepy as hell! Love it
Yet again Sweetie Belle proves that she is Best CMC
Maybe she'll get her cutie mark singing 1930's and 40's showtunes.
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Yep, still gonna do something on Sweetie living her life with Big Daddy following her around.
... Eventually.
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Yep, all taken from the game's soundtrack.
The backround music was great! Thanks for that!
MOAR. This was an AWSOME chapter!!
Would it be too much to ask for a Big Sister next?
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EVENTUALLY!
I want it NAO!
Question
Is the Rosie a
images.wikia.com/bioshock/images/1/1b/BS1RosieNeptunesBounty.png
or a
images.wikia.com/bioshock/images/1/1f/BS1EliteRosieNeptunesBounty.png
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The first one was on my mind when I wrote it.
Sooooooo..........update?
It's good, but you have a couple problems.
First, be sure to make some kind of mark to indicate when the reader switches perspectives. It gets confusing when we switch from the Big Daddy to Sweetie with no indication. (Also do this for time skips or scene changes).
Second, write in the past tense. It doesn't make sense when you say things like
or
Otherwise, you're all good.
So......
This dead?
more plz
Are you ever gonna' continue this? Because this is pretty badass.
MOAR I WANT MOAR
That feel when this has been almost a year that this FF came out and stil no update
Nigga you dead?
3333161 he dead.
3523348 Eeyup.
The good thing, though. I've been in talks with the author. I'm gonna be doing another of the stories
3523993 Let me hug you.
3525624 I'm not going to start on it until after all of my exams, so probably late December, but Guardian of Ares, involving a certain cannon-wielding Daddy, is a go!
3525659 Fair enough. Nothing is more important than a good education. Best of luck with your exams.