• Member Since 8th Jan, 2013
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago

xXCondemnedSoulXx


It's my pleasure to entertain, and my drive to continue forward. I hope I give you a good time for your share, and maybe I'll give you a laugh or two. We'll see. Keep it cool, Condemned.

Comments ( 712 )

Oh yeah buddy. I like it, a little bit of action and adventure really gets me interested, favourite indeed :moustache:

equestria is fucked up

this makes much more sense the the first chapter NOT:ajbemused:

2276852 The first chapters are taken from much later in the story, It just starts at something exciting.:twilightsmile:

she still has a nice ass :D

2285847 Chrysalis is just the best, in everything.:rainbowkiss:

2285879 we need more romance storys with her :rainbowwild:

2286044 That is kinda my plan with most of the stories i'm gonna make but variety is the spice of life.:pinkiehappy:

Aye lady, ah'm likin the story. Please continue ah'm intrigued

2294631 Seriously? If I got you interested, that means that I'm doing something right....:rainbowderp: YES!:pinkiehappy:

2294637 I do enjoy most stories, well clop is rather hard to spike my interest just due to the rather... ahem, yes anyway, I do enjoy the story with the utmost of interest

2294813 Nothing bad about a little clop, this was going to have a sex scene further down in the story, but than I remembered something. I don't know how to write clop.:ajsleepy: Some things have changed in the story but generally the same.

2294871 Trust me, some stories a little better off without sex. If you wanted you could always hint at it. You know like have it really persuade the reader to thinking they had sex even if you didn't explicitly write "Put his penis in her vagina" :rainbowlaugh: sorry just had to write that. I might do something like that in my next story

2294914 I'm going to actually do that, :pinkiegasp: It would make it just a bit better. I currently working on the next chapter, about 700 or so words in, so it should be up soon.:derpytongue2:

Should give yourself a nickname like Shadowstep or... I've got the OC for my next horror/action, yeah anyway. Should look into a nickname for yourself or maybe something like FPS Russia "And as always, have a nice day" :duck:

2298950 I try, and I'll try to work up something like that. FPS Russia is a pretty boss guy, hmm.. and when It comes down to the nickname, I'll probably go with something like Darkmoon's Crescent. yeah, Darkmoon or Dark it is!:pinkiehappy:

Holy shit... I just made it into an Author's note:pinkiegasp:... THANKS MAN! :rainbowkiss: this is wicked cool. moustache for you:moustache:
Oh and I like were the story is going, predicting that for some reason Chrysalis is going to get over thrown by another changeling... just wanted to say that...

"Are you even sure their worth all this?"

They're.

"Tosla tavern? what's she talking about?" I thought to myself.

Thoughts should be italicized and in 'these'.



I'm just trying ta' help.

they through me inside.

Threw.

"Sorry. I was kinda in captivate for about a month, so I need to warm up."

Captivate won't work here. I think you mean captivity.

2312964 thanks for the feed back! I shall make these changes post haste!:twilightsmile:

"Who are you spirit? Why is it your here?" I asked the smoke.

You're

I have maintained a balance with your departure but time is nearing its end and the land is in need of you.

I think you mean absence instead of departure.

2312987 Thank god your here, I wouldn't have picked up on these if you weren't:twilightsheepish:

As I stood against the rush of water, a sudden rush of pain stuck against my head like a blunt chunk of mental cement.

Struck. Also, What the hell is 'mental cement'? Why and how is it blunt? And why is it only a chunk?

he is so totally crushing on her! :yay:

2313113 Hopefully you'll like where I take this!:rainbowkiss::derpytongue2::rainbowkiss:

2313123

so far i enjoy the story. and its got changelings in it! i always feel so bad for them. i dont think they are as bad as they are made out to be. i feel like they are alienated cause of how they look so they resort to "evil" tactics to get what they want. they all want hugs!

2313210 With that in mind, in my story the changlings aren't 'evil', they react and respond to everyday people and ponies as any other person or pony would and they generally follow the views of their leaders. With my latest chapter, you can see that Chrysalis isn't really hostile but the attack on the camp shows that they really aren't follow her views on the land and its residents at the moment.:ajsmug:

2313241
seems to be a real problem with poor chrysalis. always someone in her hive wanting to ruin her dreams for peace :flutterrage:

2313273 You'll either like an upcoming villain, or love to hate him as the story progresses.:derpytongue2:

2313279

anyone that hurts chrysalis is no one to love :twilightangry2:

2313303 I like you, my friend. You are awesome!:twilightsmile:

2313314

*brohoof* shes most possibly my most favorite pony to read about. i look forward to your work!

well....this is just keeps getting better

!!!!!!!! totally called it, hes so crushing on the queen!

I was personally hoping for him to crash into the ground, not get hurt badly, then scorn Rainbow Dash. But in all honesty that would probably require you to have a comedy tag:rainbowlaugh:

2320365 It was going to happen like that but I just couldn't it played to sadly in my head.:derpytongue2:

haha don't worry about writing sex scenes, many literature works simply hint to it happening allowing the reader to use their own imagination about what goes down. just keep doing what you are doing if you are uncomfortable with such scenes. I always find it cute imagining a changeling blushing since they don't have typical flesh or fur :twilightsheepish:

2323250 I not uncomfortable writing such scenes, just no good at them. Always good to hear... more so read, what you guys have to say. I have an idea to bring nicky back into the story, but wouldn't want to force it. I could see a character such as himself make quick friends with Rainbow Dash, and possibly more but I want to know what you would think. Should I?:rainbowhuh:

2323322
id say bring back whichever character you think will add more to the story. its never a bad thing to add characters it is bad to add them if they are simply there for the sake of being there. :raritystarry:

2323393 This is true, maybe not nicky, but moon shadow can add some light on my situation.:pinkiecrazy:

im curious as to what these artifacts will be. my impression is they will be enchanted to react only with a guardian. very curious to see what new items will be found.

2329847 They shall be interesting to say the least :rainbowkiss:

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