(Re-vamping 2022) John was the family man, the hard working son filling his missing fathers shoes. A recent turn of events have set his fate and destiny in motion. Upon meeting a shapeshifting Queen our protector might find a new family along the way
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Should give yourself a nickname like Shadowstep or... I've got the OC for my next horror/action, yeah anyway. Should look into a nickname for yourself or maybe something like FPS Russia "And as always, have a nice day"
2298950 I try, and I'll try to work up something like that. FPS Russia is a pretty boss guy, hmm.. and when It comes down to the nickname, I'll probably go with something like Darkmoon's Crescent. yeah, Darkmoon or Dark it is!
Wings? Awesome. Also, all the ladies after him? Lucky sod
the awkward part is putting on cloths when you forget other people...ponies???
is this story antro because i forgot
I just realized something: John paid with Earth money!
Not hating on story or anything, pretty good so far. Only problem is the entire anthro thing. Reading this chapter leaves me asking myself "The tag said Anthro right?" Besides little bits about Zecora's appearance earlier nothing helps point to anthro appearances for the other pones. Besides just referring to them as ponies not helping the anthro aspect. The part when pointing out cutie marks on flanks just stamps a "Not Anthro" onto the scene. The chapter before this hinted to Zecora wearing clothes, this chapter even has Rarity making clothes which shows they wear clothes. This just begs to be answered. Was the mare in the waiting room nude for him to have seen her flank, or is the population split between anthro and ponies, or was she just wearing a VERY SHORT skirt? I understand this is pretty late to be commenting but you never know if you ever get that urge to go back and polish off the story. That's what me and a friend are doing currently to make our story shine lol. Anyway looking forward to reading more
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Re vamping the series into 2022, fixing such problems. Zecora has her brown cloak, she had it in her first episode of MLP:fim, but nothing else. Rarity's business is clothing being a posh tailor for Canterlot parties and her own. People wear clothing, but I can't be an actual chicken nugget lol. With the population of Equestria being covered in fur throughout their bodies, there is no need for clothing but that takes away rarity's usefulness. Thank you for you analysis and suggestions, and I'm happy to know I made your day with my story.
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Hard to pay with what you have lmao I wonder what the currency exchange would be? I walk to the store and grab some chips, only to pay with a mud covered stick.
Yeah it's a bit difficult to sell the "anthro but fur so not naked!" concept. 😅
What's more concerning is how fast things are moving. Feels like the entire chapter from hospital visit to Emperor's New Clothes took no more than an hour? Not sure how to solve that to be honest, there's just not a lot of passage-of-time phrases, which compounds when you say things like "well that was fast!".
It's also amusing that apparently Rarity wasn't in the memo that John senior was retiring yesterday. Whoops!