I REGRET NOTHING
Scream a very very manly scream, despite what anyone else thinks
Scream like a bitch.
Scream at the top of your lungs the most manliest of manly screams you can
posibly emmit
Scream, at the top of your lungs, the girliest scream ever
In the spirit of "A Reckless Disregard For Gravity",
"AaAaAA!"
With the ground hurtling towards you at top speeds, you are left with only one option.
You let out the most manly scream possible and await the inevitable.
Okay maybe its not a very manly scream BUT WHAT DO YOU WANT?! YOU’RE FALLING TO YOUR DEATH!!!!!
As you rush towards the large green expanse of the ground you think "Well this
was a gun dream." But you look to your right and see a flower pot falling as well. All the flower
pot is thinking was "Oh no. Not again..." If we knew why the flower pot was thinking that we
would be infinitely closer to the answer of the universe.
After letting out your non manly scream you look over to your left and see a strange
flower pot falling next to you.
You look at it for only a moment when something strange goes through your mind.
“Oh no, not again,” you’re not sure why, but you feel as if that if you knew why the flower pot was thinking that (and you are certain that it is) you would know a lot more about the universe than you do now.
Philosophic thoughts of the universe aside, you look back down towards the ground and a sudden realization its you. “Well, this was a gun dream,” you think to yourself.
Obviously it can’t be anything else, hell you are in Equestria for Celestia’s sake.... if you ever use that phrase again you need to remind yourself to slap yourself.
Either way though, this is still obviously a dream.
I begin to fall only to realize that I am not dreaming due to the actual feel of wind
on my face.
Or at least you would like to believe that this is a dream were it not for the actual wind you are feeling in your face right now.
At the realization that this is in fact, not a dream, you let out another manly scream.
Use your parachute
Pull out an umbrella and drift away like Mary Poppins. If not said umbrella is
available, then good thing you happened to be wearing your patented parachute parachute pants! Pull the string on the back to release a parachute from your parachute pants. If you happen to
have left those at home, then pull out a gallon of milk and start chugging furiously. You have got
to fortify your bones to withstand the impact of dropping several hundred thousand feet.
Okay that is a thought... and that might work. IF YOU HAD AN UMBRELLA!!!
Even if you did you are not Mary Poppins you aren’t even sure if that would work. And you never did get around to finishing those parachute pants you were working on.
Sometimes life is just cruel that way.
Oh and you don’t have any milk either. You don’t carry milk with you everywhere you go so obviously you wouldn’t have any right now.
You look at the ground zooming in closer to you and the only thing you can think
of is that you didn't get your hug from the adorable pegasus, also you wish you had some long
fall boots. You wonder what kind of drug did this to you because you need it more often. As the
ground is ever closer you thought up another thing... You didn't get to hug your favorite
princess...
As you fall your mind drifts back to Rainbow Dash... you never did get to hug her. You got ONE CHANCE to come here and you blew it. You blew it like the idiot at you are. You also wish you had some long fall boots right now, they would certainly help in this situation. You also mourn the fact that you didn’t get to hug your favorite princess either.
Let out tears of liquid pride! And remember! This is all just a dream anyway so
Dashie will catch you... right?
You let out tears of liquid pride as these thoughts take ahold of you. You know this isn’t a dream unfortunately, so the impact with the ground will be very real.
You let out a few more tears of liquid pride when another sudden realization hits you.
You look up.
Hope that Dash will save you via Sonic Rainboom before you give the ground a
new red paint job.
hope that she'll save you. after all, the ground will be very heavy-handed in
catching you.
Yell "I regret nothing!... oh and Rainbow can you catch me!?"
Scream "I regret nothing!" and continue falling.
Cry for help. I would expect Dashie to save me considering she wanted to hug
me. :P
She wouldn't let me die, would she?
Well, Rainbow catches you, of course!
To put it simply.
You do nothing.
Rainbow will save you.
Because she saw you fall.
Your fine.
Now to see If I got pants
If yes cause you were high before going to bed take your sunglasses out put them on when she catches you and say.
" Well nice of you...to drop in."
YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH
HHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rainbow Dash flies down as fast as anything ever creating 13 simultaneous sonic
rainbooms saving me
Don't be a complete fool. Mr. T pities the foo that don't know that Rainbow dash
is the fastest pegasus ever. She will catch you and become your waifu
Well you don’t see any sonic rainbooms but OF COUSE! How could you have been such a fool. Mr. T would be ashamed of you right now.
Of course Rainbow Dash would fly in to save you.
Not only is she the element of loyalty, but she’s not the kind of pony that would let someone plummet to their death.
Also you can swear that you can hear the Superman theme playing the background as you see her flying towards you for some reason.
Your mind wonders for a moment and thinks of how cool she would look with a cape right now.
But still.... How could you have been so stupid?
“I REGRET NOTHING!!!” You tell to her.
Only when those words leave your mouth do you even realize what you even said. “Oh... and RAINBOW DASH CAN YOU CATCH ME!!!???”
At those words, Rainbow Dash suddenly picks up speed.
She’s getting closer to you now... closer.... my god the Superman theme fits right now.
Spread you're body out to make yourself less aerodynamic, hopefully giving dash
enough time to catch you. After you head towards the ground, go looney tunes status and give
her a big kiss on the lips because of the joy of surviving free-fall and her saving you, then...
Of course! Why didn’t you think of that earlier.
You spread out your body to make yourself less aerodynamic, allowing Rainbow Dash to catch up to you.
Within an instant, she reaches you and hooks her forelegs under your arms to catch you.
Only a few meters before you hit the ground too.
My god she’s good.
She beats her wings furiously for a moment due to the extra weight before she gets a steady beat going again.
Afterwards, she gently lets you down on the ground.
“THANK YOU!!!” You practically scream as you hug Rainbow Dash like you wanted to back up on the cloud (you make a mental note to look into how the hell you were standing on that thing in the first place).
You think of giving her a kiss as well, but you decide not to.
“THANK YOU FOR SAVING ME!!!”
“Heh heh, no problem,” Rainbow Dash says as she smiles and hugs you back. “Its what I do.”
“HI!” A sudden high pitched, bubblegummy voice says suddenly disrupting the moment.
The two of you look over to see a certain pink pony with an impossibly poofy mane.
The smile on her face is as wide as her face is, possibly wider.
What do you do?
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"...Hi?"
.. suggest "find pinkie and party?"
Pull both of them into another hug yelling "Huggles!"
Say "party" and watch the fireworks.
Boop Pinkie Pie on her cute nose.
Pry to god this is not the "cupcake" fan fic you landed in...
Pay no attention to Pinkie and start snuggling Rainbow Dash.
faint from the shock of the fall and pinkies sudden appearance
Cower in abject terror at the possibility of Pinkie Pie destroying reality.
Prepare your anus. Incoming "Welcome to Ponyville" Party detected.
"Party"
There's nothing TO do right now. Just let what happens happen. Or you can bitch-slap Pinkie, either way works
Realize your in the presence of Pinkie Pie
say hello pinkie pie
give hug to both of them
I'll buy the first round of drinks
Faint as the adrenaline rapidly leaving your system, combined with the sudden onset of Pinkie, knocks you on your ass.
Besides, it's a cliché. You can't have an HiE without a few clichés tossed in.
simply stare at her. stare long and hard. then boop her on the nose. and when she asks for your name, you boop her again.If she asks you if you want party, you boop her again. If she asks you why you did it, you boop rainbows nose.Then you ponder why you did it...
oh yeah, i almost died and am currenlty high on adrenline.
Just pull them both into hugs
Tap Pinkie on the nose and say "Boop" while hugging Rainbow Dash.
Pinkie wants to throw a party. Lyra sees you and freaks out. You then go to carousel boutique and make rarity sew rainbow dash a supermare costume.
Due to the fact that you almost died, continue to involuntarily cling onto Rainbow dash until you are yanked off.
see pinkie, hug her too cause you want to give everybody sugar right now.
"Now that I'm no longer in immediate danger of losing my life, what the hay am I doing here?"
Eh, what the hell? Hug pinkie too.
Man up and KISS YOUR SAVIOR. Even if it's a Pony, you kiss that savior of your life!
Also, ignore The Pink One until smoochie's has been achieved.
......Just saying.....
"Oh, hi Pinkie Pie." *spit take* "PINKIE PIE!"
youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wr0FljlIGhc
Or
Ignore the pink pony and finally find out if Rainbow Dash's mane taste like skittles.
You look back down, noticing something you didn't see earlier (you cause you thought you were going to die). Someone or something that looks just like you is running away from some purple thing (you can't tell cause your kind of high up).
I don't care how you fit this in, but...
"KILL IT WITH FIRE!"
You stare at this pink pony, slightly unnerved when something just out the corner of your eye shows up. You turn your attention to what looks like......a cardboard box? How in the hell did that get here, is solid snake here to fight psycho mantis or something?
More hugs. Hugs for all! Because I'm in a good mood since I'm in Equestria and I didn't die.
Scream bloody murder and punch her in the face
here's what happens:
you freak out and run from the pink one but in the process run into an apple tree that's owned by applejack and somehow get covered in apples
Pray to whatever god(s) you hold dear that the pink one is not about to bake you into cupcakes!
Also be sure to hug Dashie tighter! Just in case...
My reaction?... Ahem...
AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!
RUN LIKE YOU STOLE SOMETHING!
Tell rainbow Dash that you want to "taste the rainbow" somewhere on the ground?
Look between the two of them a couple times, then say,
"Uhhh, hi?"
Hey you know what this calls for? A PARTY!!!!!
Suggest a "The Human didn't Crash (THC for short) party".
All worries are gone right now and if there are any, no bucks are given. You take deep breaths from your adrenalin rush. Then you remember, you a chance to hug your favorite princess
Pinkie?!! Hug both in a favorite ponies three-way group hug.
Mother of god.
"You guys want to get high?"
See if Pinkie's mane tastes like cottoncandy
Welp, this is a simple matter.
1.) Hug Pinky Pie as well, saying briefly, "I have no idea how you got there, but I am just too happy to care right now!!"
2.) After about 5 minutes, you gently disengage from hug a bit, then ask Dash the important question. "I know this will sound a bit weird, but how did I get on that cloud? Moreover, how was I staying on the cloud before I fell?"
3.) Depending on the answer, shrug and say, "All things considered totally worth it. So, seeing as you saved my life and have been really cool to me, what do we do now?"
4.) Looks at Pinky right afterwards saying, "Besides a Party, that can come later after my heart rate is back to normal."
5.) If it's something cute/cuddly/sweet, by all the god of Olympus, Valhalla, and Egypt...not to mention the Japanese Pantheon, DO IT!!! WHATEVER IT IS, DO IT!!
6.) In the event of possible clop territory...do so off-screen, because damn it, if they want you, you have an obligation to Bronies everywhere to oblige them!!
7.) If neither of these options pop up, and it remains silent or a normal response, nod your head and say, "Sounds good to me. So, anything else you want to talk about while we :Insert event mentioned in step 7 here:."
With this guide, chances of royal buck-up like the other story are minimal, and my inner fanboy can rest easy.
Quick thought: you should DEFINITELY tangle this story up with the other one. It would be really funny. Perhaps there would even be paradoxical universe-ending shenanigans due to seeing "myself."
"Looking into those deep blue eyes and that impossibly wide smile, there truly is only one thing TO do. "Staring contest!" you excitedly shout and open your eyes as wide as you can, effectively challenging her to a staring contest of the ages."
"Where is the 4th wall?"
"OH! OH! OH! We can have a 'Welcome to Equestria, I can explain everything I swear' party!"
or, alternatively,
"Hang on a sec. Rainbow, can you explain everything to me real quick?"
Ask Pinkie to read ahead in the script to find out how I got here and whether or not I'll be able to get home, and whether or not it is time sensitive.
If time sensitive, have serious deliberation on whether or not you want to go home.
If not time sensitive (or if answer to deliberation is no [or if Pinkie can't give you an answer]), ask about possibility of Welcome to Ponyville Party.
Also, give Rainbow Dash another hug, and ask Pinkie to remind you to look into being turned into a pegasus pony (on permanent or temporary basis) so things won't get physically awkward when you start to romance Rainbow Dash, but don't say that last part out loud.
Ask for lessons in baking.
Turn your face into a troll face while dancing like an Irish man and singing what is love
turn to pinkie. "hi there im (insert name here) and you should go plan a party
to welcome me and be sure to invite derpy." turns to rainbow "please explain whats going on and why im here... and can you direct me to a miss derpy hooves??"
but first PINKIE HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you must hug her!!