You gotta kick at the darkness until it bleeds daylight.
"I cry out for magic,/I see it dancing in the light./It was cold, lost my hold,/To the shadows of the night." -Dio, ‘Rainbow In The Dark’
Ever since she was a filly, Rainbow Dash wanted to go fast. And she gets that chance as she gets to go to Junior Speedster Flight Camp for a week. Here, she will make new friends, push herself, and try to be the best flyer she can. However, will she be able to get through the week without beating herself up?
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NO WORDS! BUT. THERE ARE WORDS! AAAAAHH!!1
2054145 Weird, I should be fixed now....
There we go. Nuclear fallout avoided.
Hells yeah!
Lovin' it so far; keep up the good work!
Awww yeah!
can't wait for more
I see what you did there. SWAG.MOV
Aaaaaaawwwwh that ending was so cute
Skies was such a sweet character too great job on an amazing story as well you area very talented writer 
4471955 Glad you liked. It's one of those stories I wrote and kinda forgot about, so when you commented and faved, I was kinda surprised.
Long time since there have been posts, but here's a review of chapter 1. First, let me say that I am not one to review stories, but it is a requirement for the Authors helping Authors group on the mlp forums, so here I am :). My intent is not to be critical of the author in my reviews. It is just my honest assessment of what stood out to me in reading the material.
First, let me say I'm excited to see Gilda again and am looking forward to reading more about her and Dash's time in flight camp. I love the story idea and your writing does well expressing the excitable one, Rainbow Dash. That being said, here are the notes that I jotted down while reading this chapter. Any and all critiques of my writing are welcome.
*****
"It made her even more excited at the thought of being at the same place where Wonderbolts were not only trained, but also selected to fly high up in the sky."
'high up in the sky' feels a bit labored. Maybe a rewording?
Side note: Is Lee Merry a reference to the famous drill sergeant from Full Metal Jacket, R. Lee Ermey? If so, maybe R. Lee Merry? Just a thought.
"She knew how to address drill instructors thanks to her father teaching her." It seems like her father (Dash's) might have been kind of a drill instructor type himself. This sentence could be expanded to include that.
“So I can push myself to be the best flyer than any pegasus pony, sir!” Just a typo here. '..better flyer than any pegasus pony'
"I like your moxie, griffon, but we’ll see if your wings can keep up with the words you speak.” The end of that sentence seems like it could be reworded. May be just me, though.
"You will success as pairs or you will fail as pairs, it is up to you and your partner." Typo, should be succeed, not success
"With that, Lee Merry flapped his wings and took off from the area." Seems like there could be other adjectives/adverbs in there to make that a more interesting sentence.
"The sudden opening of the door caused Dash to panic and shove her note into the top draw of her dresser with her clothes. She was quick to turn her head and see a griffon in her." Typo..griffon in front of her.
Chapter 2 Review
One typo.."Rainbow Dash finally took a good look of her new roommate." Typo ...look at her new roommate.
Great story progression in this chapter. Now on to chapter 3
Chapter 3 Review
Good expansion of the comradery beteeen Dash and Gilda. Couple more notes..
*****
"In fact, it was a miracle she managed to get up and out of her bed on her own will." Maybe a rewording? "on her own will" feels awkward.
"The spectators could only stare in awe at the fast speed the two were going." Another one that feels awkward
"Many of the campers had their mouths open in shock of the speed the small filly could go with others were amazed to see Gilda live up to the words she spoke just the day before." Very long sentence that can be broken down and reworded a little better.
"He scribbled down on his clipboard as he shook of the surprise from his face and prepared for the next pair to go down." Typo of=off
Chapter 4 Review
Loved the race. Well narrated and thought out. Couple notes;
*****
"After the classroom work that accompanied the day’s flying exercises, the campers were free for the day just as dinner was being served in the mess hall." The last half of that sentence feels awkward. Also, it would be kinda cool to know what those classroom activities might have been :)
"A chance to prove I am the fast pegasus around!” " Typo: fast=fastest
"The two barreled down the runway at a fast speed. The two were trading off first and second place frequently as they started coming up to the first turn at the end of the runway." Both sentences start with 'The two' Consider changing the second sentence to 'They'?
"her wings were reaching its limit and fast." Typo: its=their
Chapter 5 Review
No typos or anything that I saw. I like the personal conflict Dash has in this chapter.
Chapter 6 Review
Love it. Dash's stubborn streak and Skies no-nonsense, down to earth approach played well off each other.
Chapter 7 Review
Liked this chapter.
Chapter 8 Review
A good chapter. I like the little revelations that Dash keeps having. A couple notes on this one.
*****
"Rainbow’s wing flapped as fast as they allowed, pushing the little filly along down the runway." Might want to rethink this sentence.
"Her body was pour sweat from it, but it did not phase her." Another one to rethink
*****
I'm not trying to be nit-picky, here. I do the same thing when I'm writing. It sounded great in my head, but reading it later, it sounds off.
Chapter 9 Review
Loved the ending. One typo: "The two seemed very happy by their results." happy with their results.
Overall, I enjoyed this story very much. I think you have the same problem the I have (and probably a lot of other writers as well); You want to get to the heart of the story telling, so the beginning is kind of rushed could be fleshed out a little bit more. Dash was true to her character, and getting a little more insight into Gilda was great. The addition of Skies as Dash's mentor worked well in the story and I liked that character.
Your general story telling, wording, description of actions etc is very good, imho. This is a definite fave for me.
4599057 Thank you so very much for reading this story and going over it thoroughly. I really never got a chance to get back to it as I had hoped (real life and all). I'm really glad that you liked it. If I can be a bit honest about it, I wrote this all with no real ending in mind and just spur of the moment typing and I felt it could have been a whole lot better. But I'm glad you enjoyed it. To me, that's the most important part of writing: sharing a bit of my writing and a touch of my soul with the readers. Thanks for checking it out!
Do your demons, do they ever let you go? fav'd just for the god of metal, I'll edit this after I read it :)