Celestia's final moments as Equestrian ends.
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 29th Sep, 2012
- offline last seen May 7th, 2022
DVAN56
I'm just a writer from a crazy place called Ohio
DVAN56
Joined 29th Sep, 2012 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- The SideKick · 7.7k words · 444 6 · 8.8k views
- Onomonopia · 74k words · 1,233 35 · 18k views
- Sarcastic Brony · 72k words · 5,275 246 · 75k views
- bossfight1 · 83k words · 1,274 54 · 14k views
- Scorch215 · 7k words · 377 12 · 9.6k views
- ThatHandsomeDevil · 17k words · 439 17 · 13k views
- GeodesicDragon · 1.7k words · 450 18 · 12k views
- IAmNotSmartest · 30k words · 387 15 · 7.6k views
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Stats
Page generated in 0.134 seconds
Total duration
897 users online
1,703,430 hits today, 2,732,798 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Wat.
You have the seeds for a good story here: there's a sense of dread - worldwide, in fact, the stakes are made clear, and there is a clear price to pay for harmonious recovery. The problem comes in during execution. This feels a little too rushed for a chapter not even 2,000 words long. There's enough here to fill another chapter, and it could have certainly used it. Ivan's inclusion was a little much; there was no real "hook" for why he should be there other than for plot convenience.
I want to like this, but there's just a lot missing from it.
I get the feeling it's a tribute story of some sort...
nice imagery
when i saw that picture......ow my heart and teary eyes....
when reading and finishing the last part of story......
...soooo was this a dream or was this inside his head or was that implant is what caused the equestria dream and celestia was self aware that she and her world was a implant or what??????????? y u not make sense?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?