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Chapter Nine: If I had a nickel for every time I played charades with a tiny pony.1,251 words

Chapter Nine: If I had a nickel for every time I played charades with a tiny pony.

Celestia stared at the monster leaning on the back of the couch. The monster leaning on the back of the couch stared back. In the seeming eternity that it took for the monster to respond, Celestia took the opportunity to study the monster's face. Among the many creatures that Celestia had met over the millennium, this one looked most similar to the Great Apes of Zebrica. Unlike their neighbors, the Zebras, they never seemed that concerned with having an international presence. They just seemed content to live their lives in the dangerous jungles they called home. And in a way she was glad. Like the monster before her, their ears always looked like they were laid back in a constant state of annoyance. It made dealing with them, and this monster, rather stressful. Not that she couldn't focus on the facial expressions. There were several species in Equestria that didn't even have ears, and she could read them just fine. But with the ears tacked on to the side of the head, she just couldn't help but feel like the monster was annoyed by their presence. Which she could understand. A small army showing up and chasing you onto your couch was not exactly a pleasant experience. Another pang of guilt poked at Celestia's Cutie Mark at that thought.

However, it seemed like the monster finally decided on it's response. It started with little twitches with what she assumed was it lips, slowly stretching out and upwards into the facsimile of a grin. A rather mischievous grin that she usually used when she was pranking, but maybe that was just her imagination. It was quickly followed by a response in it's rumbling tongue. Celestia gave a wide smile of her own to the monster, before turning her head slightly to Shining Armor.

"Well, that seems like a good sign," Celestia said with a relieved sigh.

Shining Armor nodded continuing to watch the monster's visage. "Hopefully. Though I think it's safe to say we still don't understand each other."

"All in good time Captain," Celestia responded before returning her attention to the monster.

"We graciously thank you for your cooperation. I hope that we ponies and your kind will become close allies in the name of Harmony. May we someday look back on this as the start of a long and prosperous friendship," Celestia declared with a flourish of her hoof. As part of Equestria's diplomatic doctrine, the Guards quickly followed it with a great shout, "BEST FRIENDS FOREVER!"

However, that didn't seem like the response the monster was looking for. The monster leaned it's head back, eyes widening. That was not good. That wasn't good at all. Quickly going into damage control mode to try and salvage any good will they still had, Celestia started to calm the monster. "I'm sorry if we frightened you. We assure you we mean you no harm," Celestia quickly declared hoping they hadn't frightened it to badly. Of course it was hard to tell, but it certainly looked scared by pony standards.

When it didn't lose the expression, Celestia quickly turned back to Shining Armor. "It seems we have startled it. Have your stallions pull back. We want it feeling comfortable with us here, not frightened."

Shining Armor gave Celestia a hard stare. "Princess, I cannot in good conscious leave you unprotected against such a large, unpredictable monster who's kind we know next to nothing about."

Celestia was quick and to the point with her rebuttal. "Captain, move them back. Now."

Shining Armor stared at Celestia for a second longer, before turning and calling out. "Lieutenant, have your men form up behind me a couple lengths. Be as nonthreatening as you possibly can, but stay sharp."

Orders given, the platoon soon formed up behind Celestia and Shining Armor, holding Parade Rest. Rainbow Dash and Applejack, who had decided to help "stand guard" over the creature, also moved away from the couch, though they took up positions on the sides of Celestia and Shining Armor respectively.

While the monster seemed to have relaxed a bit, it's eyes were still rather wide compared to a few minutes ago. Though, now that she focused a bit more on it, Celestia could see that the two tufts of fur above it's eyes were also raised. She'd have to find out what they meant later. Now she had a giant monster she needed to calm down before it decided to step on them or call more of it's friends.

And as she had learned from over the millennium, the best way to banish fear was to show trust. Shown time and again by her student and her friends.

She stepped forward from the group, and extended her leg in the traditional ritual of the hoof bump. Hopefully this will work, the monster would return it.

-<+>-<+>-<+>-<+>-<+>-<+>-<+>-<+>-<+>-<+>-<+>-<+>-<+>-<+>-<+>-<+>-<+>-<+>-<+>-<+>-<+>-<+>-

Well, that was unexpected. I hadn't expected my little joke to garner such a response. The hoof waving, the squeaking, and that little scream at the end. It could only mean one thing. They wanted my surrender. Or pie. Hopefully pie. You ever have pie for breakfast? Friggin genius. Anyways, I had to admit I was a little surprised. You ever have 20+ high pitched voices yelling at you? You get your head out of the immediate blast zone quick. My ears are still ringing from that influx of hyperactive cuteness. Truly a powerful attack, even with their supposed lose of magic. But how do I convey my (fake) surrender to tiny ponies that spoke another language? You got anything brain?

"Yeah, charades."

Genius! Again! Except one problem. How do I convey complex body motions through text on a computer screen?

"You don't need to describe it. Just tell them what you want to motion. They'll just fill in the blanks."

Thrice a genius! I'm on a roll today. But before I could move a muscle. Celestia started squeaking at Shining Armor, who squeaked at the rest of the ponies. Said rest of the ponies quickly form up like little toy soldiers behind the first two, RD and AJ taking flanking positions. Then Celestia raises her front leg out. Huh. Guess she wants pie. Or maybe cake. Or is she actually serious about the banana thing. Oh Jehoshaphat, please tell me she isn't serious about the banana thing. I don't even like bananas!

"You know, maybe she just wants to hoof bump?"

... Brain, did you forget that I'm physically incapable of creating a fist after that horrible masturbation accident a couple years ago?

"Oh. Yeah. Forgot about that one."

I'll just shake instead. Leaning over the couch, I slowly grasp Celestia's hoof and gave it a few shakes. I was not prepared for the burning sensation that followed.

Author's Note:

Here it is! 1000+ words as promised.

Now for some more head-canon. Firstly, you may have noticed that thing about the Cutie Mark. My thoughts on it are this: Humans have two hearts. Our physical one, and our emotional one. We feel emotions in our heart, we keep memories there, it's where our soul is, it is the very center of our beings. Our heart makes us who we are. That when we feel strong emotions, we feel it in our physical one. (Yes I know, there is a scientific explanation behind this etc., etc. But we're talking about magical ponies from another dimension here, so just keep wearing that suspension of disbelief you put on everytime you log in here.) I'd think that would be true, but different for ponies. For them, their cutie marks are the center of who they are. Those images are supposed to say something profound, if a bit abstract about a pony. Everything in their life revolves around it. If you don't have one, you might as well not be alive. Thus, I'd think those physical emotional response would be centered around their Cutie Marks instead of their physical hearts. Or something like that. If you don't like this, please present your argument. As it stands right now, I only need to delete a line of text to fix it. If I build my world on this assumption, it'd be harder to get rid of. Ponies emotional nerves are connected to their plots. Edit: I'll think of something more deep later.

Secondly, I am using equine facial/body cues and combining them with human ones. If you think I should just keep with human ques and use them for all species, leave a comment/argument below. If no one objects, I'll try to do this for all the species we'll be meeting in this fic.

A Special Thanks to AppleJared for pre-reading!

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