Fyrebird
Joined 28th Dec, 2011 ·
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Pretty neat story...normally I neve rlike it when Twilight dies...but this just sounds like she dies but comes back as a Badass, dood.
The only thing I found weird is how you keep calling Twilight, "The" Element of Harmony, when the Elements of Harmony is made up of six...with Twilight as the element of Magic.... But with how the story is going...I think that detail is minor and can be fixed easily.
1899990
That's actually a detail I'm a bit ashamed I missed, one of those things that slipped my mind amidst all the other things I was focused on. Thanks, and I'm glad you like it!
Twill be read shortly...
Read it and though I do find your writing style a bit hard to follow sometimes its still a good story and well written
Do continue...
it's a good story
but i think it would be easier to read if you double spaced the paragraphs - it just makes things a bit easier to see and follow 
nice, i like it
DED, SURPRISE BIG NOT
Seriuosly, I wanna see where this goes
This is gonna be good I think, my gut tells me it is gonna be so, I wish you luck and joy with this project!
Gentle breeze guide you home and a warm smile to welcome your return.
(Twilight needed that in this story...to bad I guess)
hmm, i think this art was already used by "The Guardian (K)Night"
still marked for read later.
1909854
it is, was, whatever! still plan on reading though
makes no never mind to me, the artwork is what drew me to it in the first place
was trying to figure out if the name got changed
1909854 It's used by like 3 different stories other than this one...
So she is 'Dead' but a Vampire now?
1910376
same here. (un)dead twilight is best twilight. kinda. sorta. too bad she's unromanceable now. please dont eat me.
1909854>>1910376
This has been art lurking on my computer for a while (since June of last year according to the date),
and it's used by countless other fictions. I regret not remembering the original source to it.
1910418
+ immortal goodness. (This next sentence is Spoiler-y) Think along the lines of an evil Jesus. (End of spoilers) Don't worry, it'll become clearer in the next chapter and as the story progresses, hopefully. I'm pretty hard pressed for time atm but it'll get done.
In my book, that's how vampires work. At least, how I interpreted it. A little more macabre
1910468
I was debating at first whether or not I'd go down that path, but I'm fairly certain I won't. I wanted to make a seriously dark, gruesome and depressing story, sorry
1911026 Evil Jesus ._. f*ck
HOLY *
*
*
*
Twilight was BadAssss..... Mesa like dis story
I personally reserve judgement for this story, the prologue doesn't really give a feel for it yet.
interesting. watched.
wow i dont know what to say but wow most epic story i ever read. pleeeeese make more you have to for sake of the world.
I like where this is headed BUT the whole fight scene seemed quite out of character for twilight.
Even if she has read adventure stories before I don't think she would up and kill a pony by impaling it.
I think a quick, Twilight gets attacked, to The attacker being bucked off and accidentally being impaled by twilight would of been much more concise and believable scenario. That's just my humble opinion tho.
Also "red liquid of life" sounds VERY awkward, i'd get rid of any silly sounding descriptors like that.
Other than that dude i'd say keep on writing!
Hmm... Vampire Twilight... I'm going to forego the OBIVOUS joke, in favor of this one: At least now she has an excuse to stay inside all day... Yeah, I know, bad joke
. Seriously though, promising start. Can't wait for more chapters.
Damn good stuff sir!
i1341.photobucket.com/albums/o744/_retro_reactive/RWBY.gif
Because Twilight was a bad ass this chapter!!!
1911026 so you're telling me "Twilight as a vamprie is bassically evil Jesus" ... i'm not sure whether I sould laugh, post a anticrist or for the glory of satan GIF/Meme, or just sit here... dumbofunded.... maybe all three? why not zoidberg?
Hey-diddly-ho everyone! I'm in search of a pre-reader (or two!) to review new chapters before they're unleashed upon the public. My main reasons are because:
1. I'm the writer and only one person
2. I'm hard pressed for time
3. I never suspected garnering this many favorites, followers and comments. Seriously, for the first two weeks I never thought I'd come back every other day to so many notifications. I appreciate each and every like, favorite and comment from you guys, honest. With a larger audience than I had anticipated, I want my writing to be spot-on.
4. I'm modest and
don't think I write that well.I don't write all too well.So drop me a line, and tell me why YOU should pre-read my garbage.
update?
An update! I shall read this as soon as I get the chance.
I was afraid this would never update! Glad to hear you're back!
damn, that's some mighty fine writing there son. Keep up the good work but try to update a little faster. Don't worry about the quality of the chapter either. If they turn out like this one then that's perfect. You are an accomplished writer.
I liked it for the most part. Wish you luck, on further projects/chapters!
Mmmm... you´ve all my atention with this
hoof
I think you accidentally a word.
There's not technically an error here, but you use the word 'death' twice in one sentence. It sounds a little off.
How about this: "An apparently random attack by an unknown predator from the Everfree was all it took to bring Twilight, in all her magic ability, to her premature death."
Or whatever. Just something other than "death" for the first one would be nice.
Probably meant "Shh!"
Should be "sorts of things"
Or, alternatively, "that sort of thing"
The "as to why" bit sounds a little weird to me for some reason. Maybe just say "why"
Or you could add something else. "...coffin, or any reason that she would be presumed dead in the first place."
Of course, you could leave it as it was.
I don't think "unhinged" is a good word choice here. It makes it sound like she's dislocating her jaw to open it unnaturally wide. Mainly because that's what that word means.
"unclamped" maybe. Something to that effect, at least.
This is a fun fic. I definitely like it so far.
Keep up the good work!
2144825
Thanks! I expected there to be faults, even after all that time I spent checking it. I appreciate the feedback!
holy shit
today ive spotted the rare
story update
Enjoyed this quite a bit. Although I did get very confused at the beginning and it took many rereads to figure it out but maybe I'm just dull.
Also I know it sounds repetitive if you use Twilight Sparkle to much to say she's doing something but swapping between her different titles to often can become a minor annoyance. Still, fantastic story. 
2148888 Good fic, but needs to be updated.
~Crystalline Electrostatic~
13:23_2/3/2016
It has been years since you uptaded. Hiatus, my foot. This story is dead, and it ain't coming back.
8341518
You could've found that out by looking at how long the author has been gone!!!!!
Such a Shame the story is dead