For years now a creature wanders the world of Albion, with questions in his head and sand in his boots. The questions are rather simple: Where do I come from and where will I go? But how do they say? Sometimes, the journey is the reward.
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I'm still pushing through and reading the newest chapters, but it feels more and more like the story is unraveling at the seams now. Perhaps even as far back as the odd trip to the human world to bring Danielle back (It seems the prime purpose, even with the whole oddness that went on besides that). The time skip did absolutely nothing to make things any clearer, and now everything seems to be unraveling, within and outside of the story. I still don't see a reason for Shining's death, Celestia's sheer level of xenophobia is actually rather somewhat disgusting, and the charm that the story held for so long has vanished into thin air. On top of it, I'm left more confused than anything else after the newest set of chapters, and just disappointed. /end rant.
Am I first again? Eh, oh well. I'm guessing this is kind of a clam before the storm. Kind of nice, though I feel like he's getting in over his head again.
Leonidas is a really cool name. I don't think I've ever actually met anyone by that name. It brings to mind the Spartans. It's cool that you get to express a bit of the memory of your father in your story. As the saying goes, you're not truly dead until no one remembers you lived.
This story is so depresing sometimes, that I almost feel bad for Thiemo. Almost.
7770285
You can't jump from solution to solution, or from action to action and clearing everything up. I try to keep a "realistic feel". You just don't run from place to place without a break. The time skip was to skip Thiemo getting better and training a little. It was necessary after everything they went through.
The trip to earth, as you said correctly, had the purpose to introduce Danielle, but also to let the readers now about the relationship of Earth and Albion. That they are two planets in the same universe, not an alternate Dimension or Albion being a Earth in the future. It also solved the mystery of how Thiemo got to Albion in the first place. And because if Meena we knew he wasn't even the first. So yes, there was a lot of content.
To the rest I can only say: "You will see, or maybe not."
7770285 I completely agree. There is a lot of meaningless arbitrary drama that seems to exist only for its own sake.
7770285
To be honest, Celestia 's hatred for humans is justified in-story; she blames them entirely for the war and the lost of Blue Light because:
a) they were the cause of the conflict.
b) they unleashed death over her ponies to a level unseen since the Alicorn War.
c) they forced her hoof to into use her power in a destructive way, something Celestia, as the Nurturer of Life, hates to do.
d) and above all, because the alternative is to blame her own precious Sister.
The past events in the Crystal Empire have only corroborated her point of view. Cadence opened her door to the humans, and they thanked the ruler with thievery, murder and betrayal ; another son lost to the ingrateful apes.
Still, Celestia is not portrayed as a foaming at the mouth xenofobic: she didn't have Thiemo executed on sight and her interactions with the protagonist has been at least civil. Also, Cadence said her aunt's plan was to round up all humans back into the island, not to genocide them.
Is this story going anywhere?
7770285 What you just said.
So confused at this story now...
7770424 No, you can't, but you can try to keep the logic somewhat consistent throughout the story. It seriously feels like the level of writing has dropped in these recent groups of chapters we've gotten, and the time jump didn't help things out one bit. You are basing the entire Amy and Thiemo on ice situation around the notion that he didn't want to go to war, as he's seen what it does. ... Somehow he went three months without getting that point across? Yeah, sure, okay, whatever.
The humans attacking the crystal empire? Why? Their beef is, and has been, with Equestria. Because Celestia can't let go of a few events from a long time in the past, she's an extreme xenophobic individual that has fostered this tension between the human species and the ponies. You can try and argue 'But the empire is an extension of Equestria' all you want, it doesn't fit. I mean, fuck, you want realism? Look at our world, and how countries of humans are constantly at war with each other. Crystal Empire =/= Equestria, and I don't see the basis for the attack. You've taken the whole 'sins of the father' concept to an extreme one wouldn't normally believe possible in Celestia in this event, as it's more 'sins of your fucking ancestors' instead.
As for the time skip, you leave out a whole lot of stuff to try and explain everything that happened during it. Instead it's all 'oh, their fight went this entire time' and other nonsense. It comes off as extremely poorly handled compared to prior ones.
So, waiting and seeing doesn't do anything to remedy the odd, uncertain direction things seem to be going. You've made choices I just don't see any logical reason for, and the story telling has taken a sharp drop in enjoyability and coherency that I can see. The only reason I'm coming at you so hard right now is because I have truly enjoyed this story from almost the day you started posting it. You've gone off a little bit before, but this is just too extreme, too illogical, and not anything near the past content you've written here.
7771960 Being extremely xenophobic =/= genocidal. I still think her xenophobia is at an extreme level, one that is illogical and somewhat disgusting. Even Thiemo, who was proven to be 'on their side' as much as anyone can be, was kicked out and the like. The whole Crystal Empire incident has no basis in logic or reality, either, the attack should have been at something or somewhere in Equestria if one were to occur.
7772379
1. Amy and Thiemo
They argued and fought when Thiemo was still injured. So for the first month he just wasn't able to go up to her and make things clear. He was in bed. And Amy didn't want to see him in the first place. And you know how it is, the longer you wait clear something up, the more awkward it gets. May he didn't even want to.
2. Humans attacking the Empire
You're looking for a reason you can't have at this point. This isn't finished. So play the waiting game. There is a reason, a good one too.
3. Time skip
Maybe I handled it bad. I can't do perfect and I'm happy someone is saying so. But I can't alter the past. It's done. I try better in the future.
I know some things seem odd, but you're not the only one looking for answers. Were would be the fun in a story if you know everything right from the start and have the protagonist looking for the answers like 50+ chapters? I don't write from the antagonists perspective for a reason. Things are crazy right now. Thats what I want.
7772379
I suspect the humans attacked the Crystal Empire on behalf of their new "allies" (Nightmare and co.).
Considering females are the ones that have the actual egg cells inside of them, it took me a good ten to twelve seconds to realize he was referring to the actual shape of the testicles.
Honestly, trying to figure out how this Albion is close enough to Nightmare's Blue Light's for him to show up and want to close it. Hell, the first story hammered home the 'one unique presence per universe", so how hasn't Albion imploded already?
Maybe it's just the hundreds of thousands of words, but I don't remember actual humans on Albion in Nightmare until Earth went belly up.
Also, the 'Prime" timeline, if I interpreted correctly AND Blue Light wasn't off his rocker, vanished into non-existence thanks to an imbalance of Chaos:Harmony. Did Eris have children? Is Mothra's presence enough to prevent this timeline from not suffering the same fate?
Are humans that chaotic?
7772492 "Congratulations,you've received the kappa award" :p lol
7772379
Ever thought about that they may have yet been tricked? The humans in crystal empire, as well as those on Ti, I mean.
And considering the fact that "the Nightmare" is on the lose regarding a certain previous chapter, the possibility that the nightmare has fired them up (the human faction), or even put them under it's influence, is not even that far fetched.
It's apparently a parasite that empowers sadness, rage and even hatred.
Second point, the xenophobia of Celestia, or anti anthropomorphic opinion, has already been established in the previous chapter, many side characters commented or even explained why she feels this way and acts upon it.
"A pained/scarred child that leashes out against everyone that may come to close to herself in terms of power, then hurting 'her' ponies."
What I do agree on is though, that all of these sudden injuries and casualties the "good factions" had to endure recently were rather unfitting, from a time point of view, or simply misplaced/unnecessary regarding the story telling in general. They also do not leave a good impression on the fans who probably were rather overwhelmed by the extremity of graphical content. I know that I was.
First everyone escaped from paranoia human world, then suddenly massacre in the crystal empire, 'home of love' no less.
I mean Lyra getting her front leg bitten off, really? The rather innocent Lyra, an academic, having to loose a leg after all she has been trough so far. (Skeleton reanimation for example)
In that regard, I was also quite upset that Bon Bon never showed up in the crystal empire during Lyra's time of recovery.
She was never mentioned at all visiting the hospital, which is kind of unreal and unbelievable.
Additionally I criticize Twilight's behavior, her reactions to Shining Armors death were never really clearly depicted. She was only mentioned being in the same room as Thimo when he woke up, and even then her emotions were passive if not even none existent. just a sullen look on the ground.
That all makes Twilight seem like a third, if not forth, wheel character, despite having a high ranking position in this story as THE alicorn of magic.
That's why I agree that there are plenty of holes, missing expositions, in this story that make it more and more less believable or mostly less enjoyable.
"Black Story Holes" tent to stick out, if they aren't plugged with enough information.