For years now a creature wanders the world of Albion, with questions in his head and sand in his boots. The questions are rather simple: Where do I come from and where will I go? But how do they say? Sometimes, the journey is the reward.
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is it just me, or did the grammar quality drop in the last couple of chapters? I don't remember having to read what it's suppose to say instead of what it says.
Other than that, I look forward to the next chapters :)
6013816 Could you point out any errors made?
When did Amy get a brother?
Beautiful
6014151 Bleah, looks like I have to give this chapter another run through.
6013880
with unnecessary here
I think if you take away 'but' and write, 'he only snorted' it would sound better.
you can't look from a window. He looked out of the window?
this wasn't or was not
as many?
after all these years?
would fit inside it nicely i think.
who says this?
the funny thing
not sure what is happening here... she had taken it more calmly than he thought? or she calmed down? And treat her with respect over any other thing? you mean that he should treat her more respectfully?
he got closer
... under what cover?
6015763
The typo devil has visited this week. Normally JBL does a really good job, so most of the time I just post the chapter an go on with my day. Maybe he ate a bad monkey brain or whatever weird thing they eat where he lives. Or an american got lost and went into their little cannibalistic village, who knows. I corrected what you pointed out and I think it should be more readable now.
I think by the way this part is written and with what is said next its actually very clear that Thiemo is the one who said that.
6015763 By the Gods....
Well, thanks for pointing those.
6015885 no problem, happy to help :)
6015867 Yeah this and the chapter before this is the first time I thought about grammar in this series, which is amazing since it's being translated from German :)
Really? Okay let me explain how I understood it: Lyra (most likely) and Danielle are talking about the city, and then Danielle turns to Thiemo and asks him if he ever visited the empire. This is because of the next comment:
You imply here two things: By mentioning his name at the end of her question, it seems like she didnt talk with him before. I don't know about you, but I don't mention the name of the one I'm already talking with, and second, you say that she now directs a question at him, as if she didnt before.
This is why I was confused.
*stops painting hard* *bening over hands on knees tring to catch my breath* wait wait I FINNALY did it I caught up im here I'm here don.... *collaps on ground fainted*
But really this is amazing I love it but now I have to wait for more chapters sad face this is soooo amazing
Wow that is one of the most accurate short descriptions I've ever heard. How sad.
What does she think it is, a butt plug tail?
6025379
Lets go shopping
Wot, no Maplin? Then again, they really like overpricing, but they do have intresting things. Big SLA batteries and huge solar panels.
Just for a laugh, there might be one accross the carpark in the shopping area.
6031284 apparently you to respond to it
Heh, welcome the iphone 6. Sheesh, how old just is this story?doesent matter, its long and fantastic!
You know what's kinda funny and weird,or at least in my opinion.I started writing my first 100% devoted to make story on here.I haven't submitted it yet and probably won't for a while.I really wanna get a computer first.Tablets are really mean to me *tear*
I am both happy and sad that he didn't say "It's just a prank bro!" to the elderly woman.
Man I hope all that tech doesn't fall in the wrong hands in equestria. Don't want to upset their world
Hahaha pony girl joke....what no one's played slave maker 3? I'll...be...over here......alone