Shortly before Anonymous is set to operate his food tent during the Summer Sun Celebration, Twilight comes to him with an urgent request to temporarily assist in reforming the former Queen of the Changelings. He initially refuses, but eventually begrudgingly gives in, choosing to trust Twilight's judgement in spite of his ill feelings toward Chrysalis, who isn't fond of him either. Can friendship and kindness bloom where none is permitted?
set in a wacko universe where Chrysalis tried to invade again after the Season 6 finale
tags and rating are susceptible to change as the story develops
Chapters (7)
Well, this Anon actually sounds like a real, cynical, tired human being, rooted in the reality of the human world, and not a caricature of one, with one of his personality traits turned up to 11. This promises to be interesting.
Curiosity piqued
Loving this. My favorite part is, as another commenter put it, how real Anon seems. Equestria's optimistic idealism clashes with his cynicism, and even the villains are surprised by it. I eagerly await more.
I have to applaud your writing here. Your narration, your prose, your descriptions - itʼs all very well crafted. I like it.
Chrysalis is definitely gonna makes thing inconvenient for Anon and Anon is gonna tolerate 0 shit shutting it down with cold hard cynicism
Shenanigans are about to follow and I'm all for it
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Wait, holy shit, that's what's gonna push Chrysalis into actually trying, isn't it? The easiest way to get her to apply herself to the redemption thing is to stick her next to someone that believes with absolute certainty that she will not put any effort in. It's not a matter of if she wants to at that point, she'll do it just to spite him and all his cynicism. Assuming that's true... wow.
Well played, Twilight!
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If you can't make them friendship turn their spite into friendship
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A heaping helping of spite, with just a pinch of curiosity
"Don't tell me what I want!"
Yeah, I can see that actually working.
This line:
Is it referring specifically to Pharynx or what is it implying?
Also, I like that little piece about the opinion that two creatures who did not grow up under the banner of Equestria have about Celestia, even if I think the two could have said more than what was presented.
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yep, he was specifically referring to Pharynx and the nu-lings after their metamorphosis.
and i'm glad you liked the bit about their outsider viewpoints - i was agonizing over that specific part of their interaction for a day or two to be honest. expect more of that as their relationship develops
Well, someone's jaded.
But you can't argue with her results at terror alone.
Good shit!
Bruh...yes
Nice. Like what you got so far.
Hrm, I want to know exactly what the changeling drones did. How much anger is justified? I hope there is no death involved as death is inherently counterproductive to changeling needs. They need ponies alive to harvest love. Changelings killing would be like humans burning their own produce fields to make a point.
Oh?
So, it wasn't just the house, whatever Chrysalis destroyed were unique and priceless objects to Anon. That might explain his reluctance to consider Chrysalis redeemable.
So is Twi so used to getting what she wants through friendship favors that the idea of financially compensating someone for their time and effort in getting involved in her pet project can only be described as something with amoral connotations? Shame on you, Princess of Friendship! (I am joking of course)
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on that bribing line - you may have been joking, but you do have a very valid point that i didn't consider when writing this chapter. tough conversations have never been a strong suit of mine, i'll more than likely go back and touch up on a bit of the dialogue to make Twilight seem a bit more open to the prospect, so as to keep her more in character. thank you!!
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Given the conflict resolves around a destroyed house and the phrase 'one of one' used earlier, I'm imagining they destroyed something precious to this Anon. Maybe even something from his dimension.
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She's basically offering him a job. Jobs work based on compensating employees to do said job. Even more so if the job is unpleasant or the workers are reluctant.
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fixed! new edits should be a much better experience now. felt better to read for me at least
Why don't you go punch the drones that did whatever's buggin' you Anon?
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I like the new edit better. It actually sounds more like something Twilight would say.
Enjoying this a lot so far. Keep up the good work.
Pleasantly surprised to find this updated ✌️
m.o.a.r???
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soontm
is there an echo in there?
nah, we all know that won't work on bughorse.
He really should not be, not even to celestia with her millennia of experience, because he is an entirely new species.
oh screw you, very funny!
her what now?
Be very happy about that. On my world, we are the apex. Not just Predator but Period.
We are responsible for the extincting of several species allready and well on the way to a few more.
the only echo anywhere, it would seem, is in my hollow skull. thanks for pointing this out, i appreciate you
Your writing flows like poetry at times. Especially your description of Celestia.
Fantastic work as always, PKAnon.
Damn getting deeper, looking forward to more on this.
The use of this adjective confuses me. I was under the impression that this story is a redemption fic, with Chrysalis as Anon's co-protagonist, and therefore I should root for her reformation, however this antagonistic expression directed towards her... makes me question my understanding of it. If I may suggest, I would change it to something more impersonal and that I think would still carry the idea of the expression: Scary or Angry.
Since someone else already mentioned it and it hasn't been edited, I'm willing to believe that in the heat of the moment Anon's tongue slipped into the way a human not used to talking to sapient horses would speak.
This brings up an interesting question: What is of her current hive? What seems to be implied by is that they, meaning Equestria, have apparently chosen to respect Chrysalis' sovereignty over it, and recognize it as a separate and independent 'state' from the former hive currently ruled by Thorax. Are these changelings in a state of political house arrest or what?
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good to see you again wheel! love reading your comments.
glad you brought this up! since i've aimed for the story to be set in third person limited, most, if not all, of the text will be Anon's subconscious thoughts parsing through his experiences as they happen. the sprinkling of antagonistic adjectives and descriptors for Chrysalis at this stage in the game are totally intentional - it's only been around 24 hours since she left his reputation in tatters.
that's exactly what happened - good catch to both of you
without delving too deep into spoilers, you're correct in assuming that they're currently being treated as their own separate colony. the next chapter actually discusses their plight in detail, so i'll refrain from saying more for now
Speaking of third person limited, this shift to second person kind of stuck out:
I mean, since no story can really tell the reader what they thought “only a few hours ago” when they may have been doing who knows what, that’s presumably still supposed to describe Anon’s perspective.
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man i really need to not do the editing at 1 am. thank you for pointing this out, it's fixed now
Another good chapter.
Maybe because you've already proven yourself to be completely unwilling to be civil for the sake of civility? Everything's always about you, right? So, let's make it about you.
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Or maybe because only Anon or someone else in a similar position could really get the point across. One of the Princesses? Pfft, Chryssi wouldn’t have believed them that they couldn’t keep their underlings in check for even a moment. But here’s this one guy who isn’t even a pony, certainly doesn’t seem all that invested in whatever usual inane pony games they’re playing, and has been pretty bluntly honest with both her and others; he can get under her skin (chitin, whatever) because she has a fairly good idea by now that he really is just telling it as he sees it.
Just found this and im liking it. I find it odd changelings supposedly only need love to sustain themselves but in later seasons we find they can eat physical foods. Perhaps love and positive emotions they feed upon are just part of what they need with physical foods and water also gives them form of sustenance as well? Mmm well any case look forward to reading this. Havent been on fimfiction for bit and always good finding a queen chrysalis story
"... This boat ride sucks and you suck."
Time to revisit the Zecora Lesson again, Twi?
No, I think we can safely conclude that as much as ponies don’t mind visitors of the “right” species much (griffons are certainly welcome enough at least in moderation and Iron Will actually had and likely still has his share of outright pony fans), they’re still just as capable of irrationality and even breaking out the torches and pitchforks as humans. Chrysalis’s story could essentially have very much happened...
...especially if, and here is where I start to openly speculate because the thought only just crossed my mind, the technicolor bug metamorphosis actually did have some kind of nontrivial downside for at least specifically queen changelings after all. Because that just so would happen to explain her unwillingness to risk that fate even while feeding her subjects herself during hard times.
Four points
Anon bias is showing. Good for character development.
mentally? How so? Like, this is or should be an important detail to analyze.
So, multiple Changeling hives with multiple queens, now? Will the story expand on this?
I find it odd that Twilight, who must be well aware of how divided the pony tribes were prior to the unification, with each one jumping at the other's throats, could act so incredulously at that detail of history, which is identified as taking place prior to said unification, and not the historical revisionism presented by it, that at some point ponies and Changelings were interacting peacefully, when before the invasion at Cadence's wedding, there was no knowledge whatsoever of the existence of Changelings.
Final Thought: I fear that with this much world-building presented in this chapter, the central story will end up derailed, or its relevance diminished because of it.
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regarding the knowledge of changelings before ACW, i did take some creative liberties and made Equestria's knowledge of them obscure, rather than nonexistent - i've always found that approach more interesting
as for twilight's reaction, i thought i might showcase a more immediate, guttural reaction to the story. she does acknowledge its shaky foundation as a word-of-mouth tale, but i tapped into her inner overthinker, and i felt like even with what she knew about the pre-unification period, she would still be taken aback at the thought of blood being drawn
as for everything else, though:
files.catbox.moe/g6dwl3.gif
Can't wait for next chapter!
Really want to see how things will go between Anon and Chrysalis after he heard that story... maybe he'll be more sympathetic to her now. Hopefully. But maybe not too much...
Yeah, ponies are easily capable of that,nowadays and even more back then. Heck, heck, back then they'd attack each other.
It might also be that, as a queen, she's different enough from lesser changelings that she can't change as easily.
The council has decided...
You are fren
I understand that this is more for us readers, but other than that, I don't see any reason or sense as to why this information would have to be presented to Chrysalis in an official manner. In fact, I think it's counterproductive to an absurd degree, and as such I suggest that it be reconsider whether this little piece of information should remain or not.
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Ah yes, disappointing Twilight for a day or two until she gets a speech from her friends in exchange for . . . My PETRIFICATION! A small price to pay clearly.
Chrysalis lives on the edge.
Lol, okay, I'm caught up now. This is an interesting story, let's see where it goes. It definitely takes the story down some different pathways than the canon story did, it will be interesting to follow.