Spike had never thought he would meet his birth parents, he had been with Twilight for quite sometime now and he was starting to lose hope that he'd ever meet them. But when he goes to the Dragon Lands to see the Migration, he not only meets a kind dragon who helps him through the place, but he also helps find someone he never thought would get to meet..
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Good start to this rewrite here (cool story avatar BTW) to your first story Dragonfan, looking forward to see Spike checking out some more dragon culture!
Nice cover image, she pretty!
Pretty cool start
Here's hoping to see what happens next.
(Also this fic got featured actually)
Dragon stories are always appreciated!
Yeah I got to be honest your grammar is hard to read and by that I mean it gives me a headache for example when you are writing the first part where Spike was traveling to the dragon lands it feel like you are rambling I mean there is no official roles at least in the show that other races can't cross their borders technically they don't even have a border guard nor are they really organized or have much of a culture the only reason shape or form that they have any sort of government is because of the bloodstones scepter and said scepter can override the free will of dragons I'm pretty sure it's too such an extreme that the dragon lord could order one of their subjects to stop breathing and they would suffocate and even if the dragons did have any kind of border gard or government like that Equestria wouldn't know about it cuz you have to remember that the dragons are xenophobic and the ponies no pretty much nothing about them and also at this time in your story spike is like 10 years old and I'm pretty sure he never had any of the thoughts about being lesser that you described in your story and the reason he wanted to go on the migration was because he wanted to learn about his kind because Equestria knows nothing about his kind
Is there gonna be a village celebration?
Why are you rewriting this story?
11881308
Because if you look back at my old story, you can really see the flaws i have in it, the dialogue isn't the best, the pacing isn't too great either, it was also the first story i ever made, so there is a lot of stuff i wasn't properly able to do with writing back then. I'm wanting to rewrite this story to help shape how far i've come as a writer, and give people who've read it something new but familiar, i know some may not agree with me rewriting this story, and just want things to be left alone. But i wanna take rewriting this story as a chance to help improve upon what i first made, while i could just go back and edit it with my new writing in mind, i get the feeling a lot of people like it the way it is. So i decided to start of fresh with this one, i also have interesting ideas on what i can do with a rewrite like this, so it could be better then the first. I know that's a lot to explain, but i hope you can understand it.
It was sweet seeing Spike & his mom bonding like this, not to mention those fire abilities that Skystar showed Spike during this time!
This looks cool. How big will this be compared to the original story?
11881266
Imagine complaining about grammar while using worse grammar. But I do get it- the grammar is very rough.
Please capitalize your i's man. Its a small change to make and makes a huge difference.
Pretty cool on Spike's mom showing off some fire magic and such.
Wonder what if Spike ends up having other magic too in-addition to dragon's due to being hatched by a burst of magic(that is caused by the sonic rainboom which caused the Mane 6 to get their cutie marks at the same time).
Seeing that Spike is hanging out in the dragon lands, what if he ends up meeting Smolder early or something?
Love how the dragons actually have culture instead of nothing.
I think I've been playing too much Genshin Impact, I read the name as Natlan (aka Genshin's upcoming Nation of Dragons).
Anyways, Great story so far!
11881311
If rewriting history means we get to see such a cool cover story then I'm ok with it
Who is the cover artist? Or where did you find it?
So am when are the pony's going to show up
Really loving the sweet dragon lore in these chapters Dragonfan!
This was a pretty great chapter, I loved the history lessons and culture you've created. I feel like the view on dragons being barbaric in canon was pretty horrible and lazy in terms of fleshing out dragon culture, so to mention that there are efforts to improve the quality of life amongst dragons sounds pretty realistic, while still keeping it dragon focused and not because ponies 'saved' them from being barbaric or forced pony culture onto dragons.
By the way, "baron" used throughout the text should actually be "barren", since the former is the title and the latter is what you most likely meant.
I can't wait to see what you write next!
11885387
The show REALLY needed more time with Spike and the dragons, because the way they were portrayed was really bad and we never got to properly understand the dragons and they're culture because of it, i'm gonna try my best with the dragon culture and society here, but it still bother's me how awful the dragons were portrayed with being just barbaric creatures
11885387
Yeah
I was really not fond of how the show made the dragons just basically greedy brutes that need someone to FORCE them to change.
Even Smolder's character had a permanent dark mark with how she was initially forced to go to the school by Ember. It was forced onto her.
Really, dragons are basically mystical mighty creatures.
And yet the only mystical thing they got in Gen 4 was Spike's fire and the Bloodstone Scepter while in Gen 5 apparently they all had magic fire(lots of questions hanging)
11885406
There were plenty of moments in the show where they could've focused on Spike and the Dragons, by season 8 the Mane 6 had all they're issues resolved, so why not focus on Spike and his struggles, and helping flesh out the Dragons and character's like Smolder and Ember, i think having them tie into Spike finding his parents would've really helped flesh them out as they're own characters.
11885410
Father Knows Beast is the worst offender there.
11885468
I'm really thinking about writing a story about instead of that idiot sludge showing up, it's his real mother that shows up after hearing rumors of him befriending Ember, not only giving the Dragons more time to be fleshed out, but it also fixes what was easily a top 5 worst episode of the entire show.
11885475
That be epic to see
I bet Smolder would feel honored to in meeting Spike's mother too
This is a wonderful chapter. I look forward to reading more.
I also thank you for giving us Nathan drake. It made me smile when I connected the dots of his name.
11885475
I would read that if you do it.
I do wonder what other fics will touch on whats up with that temple.
Pretty cool on how there's other kinds of dragons shown.
More sweet dragon lore, not to mention that strange temple there, mysterious!
Hope to see Spike interacting with some young dragons his age soon, especially a certain orange one!
I really would like to see what the Mane Six would think of Spikes mom
Wonder what the explanation on how she feels about ponies will be