A few months ago, Cherrilee's life changed for the better when she met a beautiful, funny, and intelligent mare in a Canterlot bar.
But that all changed when the Changelings attacked. Cherilee heard nothing from her marefriend for almost a whole week before she unexpectedly turned up on her doorstep, covered in bruises. While concerned, Cheerilee couldn't help but wonder, where did her bruises come from? Where had she been this last week? Eventually, Cheerilee couldn't help but consider...
Is my marefriend a Changeling?
Perhaps asking Twilight Sparkle for advice wasn't the best idea.
- Cover photo is AI generated -
Controversial yes, but I lack the skill to draw my own, and funds to request a drawing.
Chapters (4)
Sorry I figured out the twist already, I think it might be a bit too easy to identify who Sunny really is for readers. Though, could still be interesting, after all the audience being able to figure it out easy isn't the same as the characters being able to.
Interesting, always like a good Story
A good start.
11796381
It took a while for me to figure out what you were getting at with "I figured out the twist already". Mostly because there is little evidence to make the assumption I believe you came to. If you choose to believe that the name is a giveaway trope by all means do so, but don't assume it is just easy to guess without any evidence. A good twist would punish you for that friend.
Heads up author, you should probably add the Changeling tag
The second I saw sunny skies, I could FEEL the incoming twilighting. Just feel it
11796381
I think most of us guessed by the name but the future hijinks should be good.
11796381
11796510
I admit, that initialy the story was meant to be a bit more of a mystery with Sunny not been named until much later, and the interactions been them written as Cheerilees recolection of events rather than an ongoing relationship.
Its only going to be a short story, 3 chapters, and no more. So consider this more of a fluffy romance than a mystery.
I moved away from the mystery side because I wanted to try and include more conversations in my stories, with this been less long term than my other projects it was the perfect oppertunity, so please don't expect any shocking twists.
I have a mystery romance in the works, featuring Mare-do-well, which is much more 'who could it be' but I definitly need to get better at writting before I do that.
11796539
But that would imply that Sunny is definitly a changeling
11796584
I just hope everyone likes a bad pun.
11796539
There's no proof that changelings actually appear and a nonzero chance that the actual missing tag is "Princess Celestia". As the author basically pointed out.
Ah yes, Sunny Skies, Princess Celestia's commonly accepted fanon pegasona. Not to be confused with Sunny Skies, the mayor of Hope Hollow, the town the Mane Six visited in Rainbow Roadtrip (mostly because he's blue, a unicorn, and a dude)
Definitely know who Sunny is. I wonder what Cheerilee will think when she finds out?
11796641
Huh, fair enough. Don't mind me then.
11796927
I prefer the name Sunspot for Celestia,
11796985
Now that is the question.
"Would it matter if I-" *shot*
11796381
You got ratioed into the ground my guy.
Delete this comment.
11797123
I may have added a few tags that are less ambiguous however.
11797191
In the Comics he Alias is Golden Feather. She disguised herself as a blonde pegasus with a pastel blue braid. He mark a sun with a masquerade mask over top
What the dislikes for?? I thought it’s good so far.
It probably got disliked this much because at the time of commenting this story is in the “featured” section, when; (not trying to be an ass) this should really just be in the ‘new’ section. It does not make sense from a technical standpoint for this story to be featured. It has only a single chapter -that doesn’t really set up all that much, there’s are some mistakes… it’s just, it’s not horrendously unreadable, but it’s definitely not something that should be on the front page, ‘featured’ should be reserved for critically acclaimed stories, either completely finished or with so many chapters that you can really get into them. Not this. Sorry.
11797368
Because of the below reasons
11796510
There is a lot of evidence. Before finally appearing in a comic guess what Sunny Skies/Celestia's default description was? This is fan OC Celestia in disguise down to the T. If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck then... the author doesn't have much time to foreshadow a different twist. If there is no foreshadowing of that twist a new twist will just be bad writing.
It doesn't kill the story for me but does put more importance of the next chapters. Then again... this isn't, alledgedly, a mystery for us.
11797250
11796381
No he shouldn't. This is a comment section and his comment is about the story. This is what the section is for. He should not feel suppressed for voicing an opinion.
11797499
Agreed, though some courtesy spoiler tags might have been welcome for some. I don't necessarily care myself, I do try to make use of those if I make a guess about a story (although I'm sure I forget sometimes). *Shrugs*
11797499
Fortunately I don't CARE what other commentators think about My comment. My comment was for the author not them. If I think you have a point I will agree if I think your comment is worth correcting I will, if your comment doesn't have a point and is clearly not worth responding to I won't.
I agree with The Weaver, comment sections are for comments so that's where I will make them.
11797598
My comments are often for no one at all...
I neither expect nor require a response from the author. Even someone reading them is not expected; the fact that the norm is the opposite for all is odd to me. Especially since such responses from the author often detract from the story.
Sometimes they correct a theory with knowledge of the story that hasn't been posted. Sometimes it is to shoot down a theory that is just incorrect (certainly not a spoiler but ruins the fun of engaging with a story).
11797496
That is exactly what I was getting at. I did believe that it was likely to be her, I just would not consider any of that to be actual evidence IF this was meant to be a big mystery, since it would be a super easy red herring. (we now have comfirmation it is not that this is not meant to be a mystery, yay!). In a normal context this is a 100% safe assumption to make based on fanon portrayals.
11797598
I choose to believe the downvotes are just a sign of disagreement with a point instead of disliking it (because people are lazy). You said nothing crazy, rude or wrong so the “ratio’ed, delete this” comment made no sense and was likely just a rude child. Continue to ignore stupid people, as we all should.
Side note: If it was not clear from what I said before, I was not trying to make fun of you or your point, I just wanted to weigh in because it interested me. Given how some of the other responses you have received went (and how the internet works) that just seemed like a good thing to clarify at this point. I refuse to be a “random internet a******” to anyone else if I can help it.
A good start in my opinion. I'm intrigued to see where this goes.
11796381
Beyond the name there is her particular coloration. It's a combination that we have seen in stories here before. No spoilers for the unitiated.
I mean, your marefriend show up covered in bruises right after a bunch of changelings were sent flying...
Seems pretty obvious to me that she forgot her anti-changeling umbrella and got caught unaware by the downpour of equine shaped chitin.
So far my only two problems with this story is...
1. The description says "A few months ago" as if it had already passed and yet we don't start in the present; we start "A few months ago".
2. Not a single cutie mark has been described (there is not set one for this oc; beyond containing a sun the rest is up for grabs) which seems weird as that is something that should draw the eye.
11799088
I promise to include a cutie mark description in the next chapter, but Cheerilee didn't exactly get a good look at her flank and wasn't going to ogle Sunny's flank on her way out.
And you have a very good point about the description, originally the story was a single chapter, which would be what is now chapter 3, but I decided to try to work on my dialogues a bit more, which is why chapters 1 and 2 were added, but I never went back and changed the description.
So far this is a lot of fun, I look forward to seeing it go on.~
nicely done! something I noticed
isnt this cut off? i mean, unless sweetie what?
Let's pack our things, boys and girls, comedy has reached its peak, there is no way this can be topped.
With my laughter aside, you really need to proof read your work before publishing it. There are parts where because of the wording I have trouble understanding what is happening, and that's without mentioning the punctuation. Also, there are parts where some words are repeated:
And I can only assume that this is caused by the translator software you use.
I see I'm late to the "Sunny Skies shows up post Invasion beaten up and Cheerilee is worried she's a Changeling/oops it's Celly" conspiracy party?
Honestly Sunny Skies as Incognito Sunbutt's been done so much I figure the author -isn't- going that route.
11810272
Oh yeah, I remember writing that and between cutting off the Sweetie Belle part, and adding a bit, I just went in the middle and added a half sentence XD
Fixed and thank you.
11810545
Sadly not, thats the author been to tired to check a third time.
I'm just not good at English despite been native English - It should have been large city, but dyslexic brain malfunctioned (it does that alot).
11810600
youre welcome
11810589
In regards to mystery, I have a Mare-do-well story planned where that is the theme, but this story is more of a light hearted one, no 'muhaha im chrysaliss and im going to eat your brains' fade to black here :p
We have a misplaced " mark... unless Cheerilee is pulling a Trixie and monologing... in which case the beginning " is missing.
11815256
Cheers, not sure how that was missed, considering the same mistake is on the google doc and wasn't highlighted, it seems to be a case of 'Writer is relying on auto correct to much.'
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11855525
#SoonTM
Ok, 1/3 of the way through the next chapter, though I will admit this had taken me far too long, sorry everyone!
Going really well so far!
Even if the audience has a pretty good idea of what's going on, Cheerilee doesn't. So it'll be fun to see the emotional rollercoaster she goes on through this.
11859900
Thanks,
It is in the works.