A fateful encounter
Life had been going well for Cheerilee recently. Sure, the current class of foals at school are a bit more rambunctious than usual, and she wasn’t sure which was worse, the Cutie Mark Crusaders, or Diamond Tiara. On one hoof, Diamon Tiara was a spoilt brat and was, testing at the best of times, but then there was the ever-growing list of situations the Cutie Mark Crusaders ended up creating. University didn’t teach her how to clean tree sap from the desks, floor, or ceiling, and then there was the love poison.
Cheerliee truly hadn’t been interested in finding a special some-pony at the time, but ever since she’d occasionally find herself wistfully daydreaming. It was always the little moments, like getting home from school, finding something amusing while marking school work, or cooking a meal, that Cheerliee thought, “Wouldn’t it be nice if somepony was here to share this with?” It was a painful irony that the CMC had chosen Big Mac, while she had always wanted to be with a pony who was larger than herself, she also knew that whoever she ended up with would be some pony to whom she could speak with. Sadly Big Mac was not much of a talker, but they had remained good friends, and the flirting between them was purely to make the CMC squirm, maybe if he had wings to hold her with.
So she made the very questionable decision of confiding in her sister, Berry Punch. Berries' advice had been both surprisingly helpful, and predictable. Predictably, since Berry had declared that they were going to a bar, helpful, because as Berry pointed out, “If there's no stallion in Ponyville to catch your eye, let's go to Canterlot!.” What Cheerliee hadn’t expected, was that Berry decided that that weekend would be the best time, after all, “Alcohol waits for no mare!”
And so it was that Cheerilee found herself in the last place she wanted to be at the weekend, sat alone at the bar of the ‘Wayfarers Shoe’. Loud ponies surrounded her, and her only company was a glass of cider since Berry Punch was currently in the midst of a drinking contest, though judging by the large stallion failing to remain on his hooves, Berry was winning.
’Why did I agree to this? Of course, Berry would get into a drinking contest, and I’ll be the one carrying her to our room no doubt.’
Taking several swigs to finish her current drink, Cheerilee slammed the glass down on the bar, she was about to order another, but another voice cut her off.
“Excuse me, Barkeeper? I would like a cider, Manehatten Orchard if you have it, and perhaps one for this mare if she does not mind.”
Blinking, Cheerilee looked at the pony who had ordered her a drink. A larger-than-average pegasus mare, though shorter than herself, she had gorgeous long pink hair, a snow-white coat, and gorgeous lavender eyes. To say she was stunning would be an understatement. The best response Cheerilee could manage was a muffled squeak, though she managed to nod her agreement to the drink.
“Then two Manehattens please,” said the mare. As the barkeeper went to prepare the drinks the pink-haired mare hopped onto the stool next to Cheerilee and smiled. With an impossibly warm smile the mare turned to Cheerilee, whatever the mare said was lost on her sadly, as she melted from the warmth the mare's smile exuded.
‘Hehe, she’s so pretty, maybe she mistook me for someone else, huh, is she talking? Why is her hoof there?’
Cheerilee followed the mare's hoof, which was waving in front of her. Up down left right left right then.
“Boop,” said the pink-haired mare, as her hoof gently booped Cherilee's nose.
“Ahh, oh sorry, I’m not swear I’m drunk! Err, I’m not drunk I swear! Sorry, I got lost in … thought, and err, I’m sorry, but I didn’t hear a thing you said, could you please start over?”
The mare retracted her hoof, and covered her mouth as she giggled, “I was asking if you wouldn’t mind telling me your name?”
“My name? Oh yes, my name is Cheerilee.”
“It's a pleasure to meet you Cheerilee, I hope you don’t mind me sitting here, is this seat taken?”
“Oh well …” Cheerilee looked for her sister, Berry was visibly showing signs of being tipsy now, the three stallions on the floor though, would definitely regret their decision in the morning, maybe the afternoon.
“No, its occupant is elsewhere.”
Following her eyes, the Pink-haired mare saw the spectacle her sister was creating, and silently let out an ‘ah’.
“I see, she seems to be having fun at least.”
Fortunately, it was at that moment that the barkeeper returned with the two bubbly ciders.
“Your ciders, that will be 5 bits.”
The mare produced 5 bits from a pouch hidden under a wing and thanked the barkeeper as he went to his next customer. After looking at the glass for a strangely long moment, she reached out with a wing and lifted the glass into the air, and waited for Cheerilee to do the same.
“To remembering in the morning, and the aspirin that will follow,” she said. The two clinked their ciders and took a long drink.
It was good, having only had Ponyville Apple Cider before, she was surprised that this drink was almost as good, the apple taste was lacking in comparison, but she enjoyed the fizziness of the drink more than she’d expected.
“I can almost smell the coffee, my sister won't be able to move until I leave a cup under her nose” said Cheerilee, “this is really nice thank you, but don’t tell anyone I drank it, if word gets out I drank cider that wasn’t Apple family I might lose my friends of family discount.”
“Then you can rest easy, this cider is still from the Apple family, it comes from a small orchard outside Manehatten that is exclusively used for cider, but this is the only bar in Canterlot that sells it.”
“Really? Well, I'm glad to hear I won’t have Applejack glaring at me in the street, but is this really the only place that sells it in Canterlot?”
“Sadly, other than the usually quiet atmosphere, it's why this is my favourite bar to visit.”
“Sorry about the drinking contest, I hope we haven’t put too much of a dampener on your night.”
“Not at all, I am glad she is having fun, I would not wish for things to be any other way, as long as there is no trouble, and besides, I seem to have lightened up your evening a little, so that is a win-win in my book.
Lightened up my evening? Cheerilee took a moment to reflect. She’d been alone for most of the evening and would have called it a complete disaster, if not for … oops.
“Sorry, erm, I don’t think I caught your name?”
Before the pink-haired mare could reply, the smell of alcohol enveloped Cheerilee’s senses, providing just enough warning to brace for a drunk mare to drape herself over her back.
“Cheerie *hick*, I’m sorry, but I may have drunk a bit toooo much, could, could you please get me back to the inn? I know where to go but I don’t seem to remember where I am.” Slurred Berry Punch.
Cheerilee sighed, but at least her sister hadn’t tried to get back on her own, “Of course Berry, sorry for leaving without finishing my drink, hopefully, we can speak more next time.”
As Cheerilee was half off her stool, with a mostly catatonic berry over her back, she froze.
’Next time? What do you mean next time!? You don’t even know her name, or live in Canterlot, how could there be a next time!?’
“Sure, how about two in weeks, about an hour after sunset?”
What?
“Oh and my name is Sunny Skies, I look forward to seeing you again Cheerilee.”
“Yeah, see you then.”
The bell chimed behind Cheerilee as she left the Wayfarers Shoe, with the cold mountain air, and a snoring Berry Punch to keep her company, Cheerilee walked back to the Inn, asking herself a single question.
“Did I just get a date?”
Stats
Page generated in 0.033 seconds
Total duration
660 users online
841,550 hits today, 2,782,760 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Sorry I figured out the twist already, I think it might be a bit too easy to identify who Sunny really is for readers. Though, could still be interesting, after all the audience being able to figure it out easy isn't the same as the characters being able to.
Interesting, always like a good Story
A good start.
11796381
It took a while for me to figure out what you were getting at with "I figured out the twist already". Mostly because there is little evidence to make the assumption I believe you came to. If you choose to believe that the name is a giveaway trope by all means do so, but don't assume it is just easy to guess without any evidence. A good twist would punish you for that friend.
Heads up author, you should probably add the Changeling tag
The second I saw sunny skies, I could FEEL the incoming twilighting. Just feel it
11796381
I think most of us guessed by the name but the future hijinks should be good.
11796381
11796510
I admit, that initialy the story was meant to be a bit more of a mystery with Sunny not been named until much later, and the interactions been them written as Cheerilees recolection of events rather than an ongoing relationship.
Its only going to be a short story, 3 chapters, and no more. So consider this more of a fluffy romance than a mystery.
I moved away from the mystery side because I wanted to try and include more conversations in my stories, with this been less long term than my other projects it was the perfect oppertunity, so please don't expect any shocking twists.
I have a mystery romance in the works, featuring Mare-do-well, which is much more 'who could it be' but I definitly need to get better at writting before I do that.
11796539
But that would imply that Sunny is definitly a changeling
11796584
I just hope everyone likes a bad pun.
11796539
There's no proof that changelings actually appear and a nonzero chance that the actual missing tag is "Princess Celestia". As the author basically pointed out.
Ah yes, Sunny Skies, Princess Celestia's commonly accepted fanon pegasona. Not to be confused with Sunny Skies, the mayor of Hope Hollow, the town the Mane Six visited in Rainbow Roadtrip (mostly because he's blue, a unicorn, and a dude)
Definitely know who Sunny is. I wonder what Cheerilee will think when she finds out?
11796641
Huh, fair enough. Don't mind me then.
11796927
I prefer the name Sunspot for Celestia,
11796985
Now that is the question.
"Would it matter if I-" *shot*
11796381
You got ratioed into the ground my guy.
Delete this comment.
11797123
I may have added a few tags that are less ambiguous however.
11797191
In the Comics he Alias is Golden Feather. She disguised herself as a blonde pegasus with a pastel blue braid. He mark a sun with a masquerade mask over top
What the dislikes for?? I thought it’s good so far.
It probably got disliked this much because at the time of commenting this story is in the “featured” section, when; (not trying to be an ass) this should really just be in the ‘new’ section. It does not make sense from a technical standpoint for this story to be featured. It has only a single chapter -that doesn’t really set up all that much, there’s are some mistakes… it’s just, it’s not horrendously unreadable, but it’s definitely not something that should be on the front page, ‘featured’ should be reserved for critically acclaimed stories, either completely finished or with so many chapters that you can really get into them. Not this. Sorry.
11797368
Because of the below reasons
11796510
There is a lot of evidence. Before finally appearing in a comic guess what Sunny Skies/Celestia's default description was? This is fan OC Celestia in disguise down to the T. If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck then... the author doesn't have much time to foreshadow a different twist. If there is no foreshadowing of that twist a new twist will just be bad writing.
It doesn't kill the story for me but does put more importance of the next chapters. Then again... this isn't, alledgedly, a mystery for us.
11797250
11796381
No he shouldn't. This is a comment section and his comment is about the story. This is what the section is for. He should not feel suppressed for voicing an opinion.
11797499
Agreed, though some courtesy spoiler tags might have been welcome for some. I don't necessarily care myself, I do try to make use of those if I make a guess about a story (although I'm sure I forget sometimes). *Shrugs*
11797499
Fortunately I don't CARE what other commentators think about My comment. My comment was for the author not them. If I think you have a point I will agree if I think your comment is worth correcting I will, if your comment doesn't have a point and is clearly not worth responding to I won't.
I agree with The Weaver, comment sections are for comments so that's where I will make them.
11797598
My comments are often for no one at all...
I neither expect nor require a response from the author. Even someone reading them is not expected; the fact that the norm is the opposite for all is odd to me. Especially since such responses from the author often detract from the story.
Sometimes they correct a theory with knowledge of the story that hasn't been posted. Sometimes it is to shoot down a theory that is just incorrect (certainly not a spoiler but ruins the fun of engaging with a story).
11797496
That is exactly what I was getting at. I did believe that it was likely to be her, I just would not consider any of that to be actual evidence IF this was meant to be a big mystery, since it would be a super easy red herring. (we now have comfirmation it is not that this is not meant to be a mystery, yay!). In a normal context this is a 100% safe assumption to make based on fanon portrayals.
11797598
I choose to believe the downvotes are just a sign of disagreement with a point instead of disliking it (because people are lazy). You said nothing crazy, rude or wrong so the “ratio’ed, delete this” comment made no sense and was likely just a rude child. Continue to ignore stupid people, as we all should.
Side note: If it was not clear from what I said before, I was not trying to make fun of you or your point, I just wanted to weigh in because it interested me. Given how some of the other responses you have received went (and how the internet works) that just seemed like a good thing to clarify at this point. I refuse to be a “random internet a******” to anyone else if I can help it.
A good start in my opinion. I'm intrigued to see where this goes.
11796381
Beyond the name there is her particular coloration. It's a combination that we have seen in stories here before. No spoilers for the unitiated.
I mean, your marefriend show up covered in bruises right after a bunch of changelings were sent flying...
Seems pretty obvious to me that she forgot her anti-changeling umbrella and got caught unaware by the downpour of equine shaped chitin.
So far my only two problems with this story is...
1. The description says "A few months ago" as if it had already passed and yet we don't start in the present; we start "A few months ago".
2. Not a single cutie mark has been described (there is not set one for this oc; beyond containing a sun the rest is up for grabs) which seems weird as that is something that should draw the eye.
11799088
I promise to include a cutie mark description in the next chapter, but Cheerilee didn't exactly get a good look at her flank and wasn't going to ogle Sunny's flank on her way out.
And you have a very good point about the description, originally the story was a single chapter, which would be what is now chapter 3, but I decided to try to work on my dialogues a bit more, which is why chapters 1 and 2 were added, but I never went back and changed the description.
So far this is a lot of fun, I look forward to seeing it go on.~
The first paragraph throws red flags immediately. Diamond Tiara, not Diamon. And Cheerilee already has a sister and it isn't Berry Punch. It's Cherry Blossom, a wrestler. Her twin sister.
I like the premise, but having errors like that in the very first paragraph is not a good sign.
I really liked this chapter so I'm willing to give the rest of this story a fair chance! My only grievances are what most everyone else has said about needing more charecter descriptions, and theres a few spelling errors/grammar problems. If you'd like I'd happily proof read, I can't make any promises on grammer but I can at least point out some basic spelling errors if you'd like! Thank you for sharing the story you have so far.
XD Oh wow the errors, have I just improved my spell-checking ability since or was I horrifically drunk at the time?
Thanks to everyone who managed to read past the errors!