The Flight Before the Fall

M/M Shipping Contest!77 stories ·164 members

On paper, Lightning Streak has everything. A wonderful boyfriend, a healthy lifestyle with a body to match, and he's one of the fastest flyers in Equestria, as signified by the flight suit he proudly wears. But every day, he still pushes himself harder and harder, continuing to go to the very brink of his limits just so he can be good enough. Thunderlane worries about him, sure, and the other Wonderbolts don't have the same thought process for some reason. But that's not his problem, it's theirs. After all, only winners get rewards. Failures get nothing.

Written for the M/M Shipping Contest 2022!

Featured 11/19/22
Popular 11/20/22

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 10 )

Viewing 1 - 50 of 10
- Newest First
- Oldest First

a creature

a creature #1 · Nov 22nd, 2022 · 1 · 2 ·

thank youuu. this hurt me but also it was good

Melody Song

Melody Song #2 · Nov 22nd, 2022 · 2 · 2 ·

11430084
Glad you enjoyed!

Vivid Syntax

Vivid Syntax #3 · Dec 7th, 2022 · 1 · 2 ·

Great story. I love the way you handled the transitions. At first, I thought that it was a bit imbalanced, with the memory sections being a lot longer than the present-day sections, but then I realized how much sense that makes: Lightning Streak probably spends a lot more time in his head and his traumatic memories than he does in the present moment. It's all-consuming for him.

I wish the ending and resolution had more room to breathe, as I thought it felt rushed and tied up a little too neatly. That said, using food as a theme throughout and letting him finally have some soup was a great touch.

Excellent work. Have a fave and a follow.

Melody Song

Melody Song #4 · Dec 7th, 2022 · 2 · 2 ·

11442890
Thanks! I'm glad you liked it! I agree the ending I rushed a bit, but I wasn't sure how else to end it, and I wanted to give Light a happy resolution

Vivid Syntax

Vivid Syntax #5 · Dec 7th, 2022 · 1 · 2 ·

11442947
I'm glad he got one, too.

Melody Song

Melody Song #6 · Dec 7th, 2022 · 2 · 2 ·

11442956
Yes, I felt he deserved it

Bicyclette

Bicyclette #7 · Feb 13th, 2023 · · 1 ·

Winning Streak was not the type to let anyone beat him or any member of his family in anything, as his mark signified. Three blue ribbons with a loudspeaker behind them. He was insistent on maintaining top marks in everything you did. Lightning never understood this, but he was forced to abide by it.

honestly just love the name and cutie mark for this character. it just feels like a seamless part of the world of these ponies

Lightning let out a muffled yelp of surprise as Thunderlane’s lips collided with his own. He allowed the towel to drop from his hoof onto the floor, sinking into the gentle kiss of his lover. It was warm, and inviting, and Lightning could feel the pressure to just stop everything and go cuddle with his coltfriend building in his chest. He was so, so grateful that Thunderlane had agreed to set up a new house with him for the off weeks. It was only their first week there, and Lightning never wanted it to end.

augh that sounds so wonderful and nice! i would have to be crowbarred out of that cuddle if i were Lightning

Lightning flinched, his ears flattening to his head as he stared down at the ground. Winning slapped him across the face and he yelped, bringing his head up obediently.

and oof, always awful to see :(

Thunderlane dug into his food, though he looked concerned as he saw Lightning’s singular egg.

i would also definitely be concerned

A flood of cold water suddenly came crashing down onto Lightning’s head. He gasped in shock and sat up in bed instantly, eyes wide as he stared at his father. He was holding a gray stormcloud above his head, clearly the source of his unexpected shower. Winning’s eyes were cold, sharp, and uncaring.

there is something extra sinister in a whimsical worldbuilding element being used like this. a great touch

Lightning got up eagerly and followed Spring off the track. He had finished his exercises anyway, he could spend some time with the colt. He seemed really nice, too. Surely his father wouldn’t mind as long as he had already done his training and didn’t reveal anything about his practice methods.

hoowee i do not feel good about how this will end!

They ate in silence, and this time Thunderlane made no comment on Lightning's meal, which consisted of a single carrot.

honestly surprised Lightning is even alive, combining such a brutal training regimen with so few calories…

“Howdy ya’ll!” Applejack, one of the Ponyville Apples, greeted the two stallions with a friendly grin as they approached her stand. “What can I do for ya?”
“Hey AJ, we just need some apples.” Thunderlane set some bits on the counter, and Applejack gave him the apples with a smile.
“Have a good day!”

love AJ just being a background pony in this

“You’re not a child anymore, Lightning. You need to grow up, colts don’t hang out with other colts when they’re teenagers. They try to get mares. You want ponies thinking you’re some kind of coltcuddler?”

and of course Winning Streak would be awful about this, but i’d bet if Lightning had gone to the mall with a mare Winning Streak would have found reasons to criticize that as well. Lightning just can’t win or be happy in his eyes…

“Yeah, you don’t smell daisy-fresh yourself, Cap!” Rapidfire called, earning a round of laughter from the rest of the crew.

gottem

“Well… I do have a crush… but it’s not a Wonderbolt.”

ehehe nice

He chanced a look up at Spring, seeing the colt was staring at him, a deep blush on his face.

i mean of course he is, that was incredibly smooth

The kiss was gentle, and sweet. The way Spring’s wing wrapped around his shoulders as the kiss deepened only felt better. Lightning wished it could never end.

augh that is so nice! i also wish it could never end because i am sure Winning Streak did something horrible after it did

He was always ready with a kind word, or a fond smile, or just a shoulder to cry on. Lightning had yet to invoke use of that last one, but Thunderlane always made sure he knew it was still available.

oof, Lightning really internalized that no-crying thing at this point

They weren’t supposed to be friends, after all. Especially not coltfriends. He didn’t know what he was thinking, to be honest. In the end, his father was right. He was always right.

and oof, that is even worse. Winning Streak didn’t even have to find out about the kiss, what Lightning internalized from him was enough

“They also call you Crash, though!” Misty Fly brought up, and the group all began laughing, even Rainbow herself. Lightning allowed himself a small smile, but didn’t join in the fun.
“Come on guys, it’s nearly dinnertime.” Soarin flapped his wings eagerly. “Thunder, you said there was pie, right?”

hehe love the canon references

Lightning’s heart stung. He had devoted so much of himself and his time to making his dad proud, to doing everything he asked. Fire hadn’t even revealed his interest in flying to their dad, and yet the second Lightning slipped up, Winning turned his attention to him.

and that Fire Streak also ended up in the Wonderbolts without Winning Streak treating him this way really just underscores how needless and awful this all is

“And what’s more,” Winning continued right where he left off, looking straight at Fire as he spoke like nothing had happened. “I can’t even hear losers, son. It’s like they’re dead to me.”

very Winning Streak line

Lightning felt a tear running down his face, similarly to how the green beans were now falling off the framed photo of their family.

that is cinema

“Hey, Lightning, I saw the race, congratulations on winning!” The colt held up a wing for a friendly wing-bump. Lightning glanced at his father, who was staring at him expectantly.
“Yeah, um, thanks.” Lightning said, turning away. He didn't need to look back to know that the smile had fallen from Spring's face.

oof…

Thunderlane nuzzled his cheek, and Lightning nuzzled back. The two headed down the hall, towards the kitchen.
As it turned out, Lightning was a winner. Real winners felt loved, no matter how many races they won or lost. Because love wasn’t something that was earned, it was given out freely. Lightning was more than eager to feel real love for the first time. He only hoped one day, he could break through his past enough to feel worthy of it.

aww, what a nice ending! and the other Wonderbolts chiming in reminded me of the ending of “Newbie Dash”, as well as something needed for Lightning to accept that what he was told growing up was not acceptable or normal.

I know it's probably kind of bad that every time I write the Wonderbolts, one of them ends up revealing a traumatic event/backstory. But honestly, I now have a headcanon that the Wonderbolts are a team of mentally scarred/traumatized ponies who find support and compassion in each other. They're more than just a team, they're a family, and together they will find happiness and love.

i don’t think it’s bad at all, what a wonderful headcanon!

Melody Song

Melody Song #8 · Feb 13th, 2023 · 1 · 1 ·

11505050
Thank you for all the commentary! I'm really glad you liked this story, and I'm also glad that someone caught all the nods to the internalized trauma Lightning has, I was worried it was a little too subtle

alafoel

alafoel #9 · Oct 28th, 2023 · · 1 ·

“...You’re not fine.” Thunderlane sighed, leaning in to nuzzle him. “But okay. I’ll leave you alone.”

Out of the whole story, I think this is the line that got to me the most. Something about it - so simple but it manages is to perfectly encapsulate a lot of Lightning's character and feelings here. It works so well.

Melody Song

Melody Song #10 · Oct 29th, 2023 · 1 · 1 ·

11733689
Thank you!!

Viewing 1 - 50 of 10
- Newest First
- Oldest First

Melody Song

Featured In1

Stats

FIMFiction

Follow & Support Us

Melody Song

Also LikedSimilarAuthor

Featured In1

Stats

FIMFiction

Follow & Support Us

Also Liked Similar Author