• Member Since 25th Dec, 2013
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

Sparky Brony


I'm an electrician working in Fargo, ND. I love writing pony stories, and reading good fanfiction. My Patreon!

Comments ( 26 )

wow this story starts out hard and fast

ok a 25 year time jump and a killer chapter i am in love.

Sorry, but not spelling Chrysalis correctly instantly turned me off.

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Thank you for bringing it to my attention, I had missed it originally. Name spelling is now correct for Chrysalis.

Kinda sad so far but I’m definitely hooked!

Wow someone apparently has time to dislike all the comments

We ll see more chrysalis right?

That’s not good…

well crap this just turned pear shaped fast.

Well kid, you should have thought that through!

i like it a lot
and i see a few thing got fixed from the time i pee-read it. :pinkiehappy:

I liked the speech of that guy, it's a pity that his position broke down so quickly.

Hope she gives him a place to stay instead, he shouldn't be forced into sex just to be able to go home. Feels too much like rape.

It's always nice to see a stallion on woman clop, it's pretty rare these days. However

She had settled on smaller than average so as to not hurt the human. There had been confirmed reports of mismatched anatomy colliding with overly enthusiastic partners. The changeling cringed, remembering how long it had taken to get it right to wield an organ meant for a receptacle three times larger.

That size difference is ridiculous. With canon proportions, a stallion's dick would literaly be bigger than a mare's entire torso. Not to mention this

And from what I’ve heard, plenty of human males have found visiting a pony settlement during times of heat could be quite fun if they are in the mood for sex

would never happen. The best case scenario would be the mare not laughing at the guy's dick while asking him to leave. No amount of skill or "muh human stamina" could overcome what's basically throwing a hot dog down a hallway. I would recommend editing this paragraph to tone it down significantly. Or better yet, get rid of it completely; people calcked our equipment to be more or less the same size. Besides, she is a changeling, she can just make herself bigger for size queens without condemning men to mare celibacy.

Its twin .32 rounds slamming into the shocked mans chest, mushrooming as one passed through a lung, the second nicking a rib and the sternum fragmenting a bit before shredding his heart

That escalated quickly. Shoudn't the story have Death and Dark tags? Would be nice to have a warning. My empathy for the changeling pretty much evaporated after this. Can't relate to a cold-blooded murderer. Hope she gets caught and jailed for this.

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I'm gonna have to disagree with you there. Not on mare to stallion sizes, that was an error on my part, I'll work to adjust.

But the escalation happened on his end, he brandished a weapon, and justified deadly force on her part immediately.

I had written out the scene differently a couple times until a friend came up with the hidden gun, in accordance with a changelings philosophy of misdirection and stealth. First I planned on her turning to her natural form and springing at him, then I had her with a .38 special revolver, then I settled on the hidden gun. He was threatening her life, she was justified in responding the way she did. People don't realize exactly how dangerous a person hopped up on meth with a knife can actually be.

That being said, I will make the point further along in the story, she is an unrepentant predator, so she feels little compunction on taking a life. But she's also cautious, because she doesn't want to get caught. One thrust of this story will be how she evolves from being a predator outside of society to being a participant. More will be revealed as the story progresses. If I've lost you, I'm sorry, but I'm writing the story how I see it.
But most of all, thank you for commenting your thoughts, input is very much appreciated.

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But the escalation happened on his end, he brandished a weapon, and justified deadly force on her part immediately.

I agree with that, but her complete disregard for taking human life irks me. I recently read a story about a changeling murdering humans for 18 years, then she says she is sorry and everyone completely forgives her without any punishment. I really don't want to read a repeat of that.

That being said, I will make the point further along in the story, she is an unrepentant predator, so she feels little compunction on taking a life.

Pfft, she is a parasite at best. Humans are the real predators here. She knows if they find her out she is toast.

If I've lost you, I'm sorry, but I'm writing the story how I see it.

It dampened my enthusiasm about the story a bit, but I'll keep reading for now. It's been pretty good otherwise. Howerver, if she starts ranting about how weak and pathetic the humans are compared to her superior species, I'll call it quits.

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No chance of that, though she does view herself as a predator, but yeah. She escaped punishment for it, and she's not sorry about it. In that, she was defending her life. She doesn't view humans or ponies as lower than her. Just as her food source. But she's going to learn a lot, especially from the young man in the most recent chapter. Though I have chapter 5 written, but I'm waiting on my editor for posting and you'll find out more with that one.

Wonder what the attack on the compound was about

Our changeling finally gets a name and a friend. It's nice to see her opening up to Tyler, hopefully he will teach her that there's more to life than just surviving.

“I remember pictures from my political science class… that last one…isn’t he the President of Belarus?”

That shadowy organization had better beware of Luka. He has a lot of experience fighting overgrown bugs.
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so she is a Purple Queen interesting.
this is going to play out interesting.

really Sparky a DS9 reference to Odo.

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of course, he's a changeling, she's a changeling

sounds to me like it is time to make a decision.
sitting on the fence just leads to a sore ass.
trust the cat.

awesome chapter.

Nice chapter!

Dang what a place to stop. Hope you ad more.

Wow. Another really good story I would not put this one down either. I have really gotten to like Hope.

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