Little Filly Lost

by bkc56

7. Epilogue

Hey, Steel,

I know we got all caught up a few weeks ago when you were here for my graduation, but I received some news I just couldn’t wait to share.

I got the letter! I’m officially accepted into the Criminal Justice program at my first choice college in Manehattan. I leave in a couple months. Graduation will guarantee me entrance to the police academy.

My parents are excited for me. But I can also see a little sadness in their eyes. The time has gone by so fast. I’m going to miss them, and all my friends here in Ponyville.

This has been my dream since I got my cutie mark. I’m one step closer to becoming the second best detective in the whole world. You’d better watch your back!

Please say hi to Citrine for me.

Always your friend,
Windflower.

“Good for you, kid. I know you got this.”

I folded the letter and laid it on my bedside table. I set the beaded bracelet on top.

-- The End --

Comments

[Airy Words]

Great way to end the story. The bracelet is a nice show, not tell way to demonstrate Steel’s affection for Wildflower.

[Starlight Nova]

How many stories are going to be in this series?

[bkc56]

11133602

How many stories ...

That will totally depend on how many viable ideas I get. There are currently three: Dark Steel (the spin off from One of Us), The Painless Murders, and Little Filly Lost. I am in early development on a forth story, but I don't know yet if it will make it to a published story. And I have three other higher priority stories in the queue to get through editing before that 4th story gets any serious attention.

All that to say: I ain't sure.

[Nocturn Dreamwrite]

This was a great story! Well done. I'm glad that Steel and Windflower did stay good friends and keep in touch over the years. It's wonderful that he got to be a part of her life growing up from time to time while pursing his own business as well. :)

[bkc56]

11133663
Thanks. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[Goldfur]

Very enjoyable story.

[badtigra]

A good story with plenty of wholesome moments, balanced with a tragic happening that paves the way for a good mystery and a well described combat scene. I enjoyed the detective aspects of it and found the writing/overall story to better than some detective novels I've read before.

[BirdsBooksBrownies]

A wonderful cozy-crime novella, the only thing missing was a pet cat and a tea/coffee/sweet shop.
Some thoughts:

---

• I hope that Windflower and Dark Steel get to team up in a future story.
• One tidbit I really liked was on the train to Ponyville, Windflower is super nervous and Dark Steel instead of timeless empty platitudes lays out the facts "yeah, you're gunna screw up kid, hay, I screw up just about every da-rn day, but here's the thing, what's more important is how you respond to the screw up."
• just an idle "what if", what if Windflower had no relatives...It's pretty clear that Dark Steel had a soft spot in his heart for Windflower, and that there was some idle contemplation of getting together with his old friend/coworker Which we know happens from one of the more "recent" stories canonically speaking what if Dark Steel had to make the choice of raising her or putting her into the system?

[bkc56]

11150182
Thanks for the comment. Glad you enjoyed it.

On Point #1, I'm in early development of a new story in the series set some years in the future when Windflower is grown up. Of course it's too early to tell if it will make it to completion.

On Point #3, that would be the traditional feel-good ending. But I didn't want to go there, and there was no mention of her in the other story. Hence my choice. Although, given the choice you listed, I think his choice would be obvious.

[Zestium]

So that's how Dark Steel gets his fedora hat. A filly who looks similar to the ancient alchemist chose it for him. That's so cute! What an interesting and lovely new character we have here. Something tells me that she may be the important character of future stories. At least I hope so. I want to see what would happen when she meet Quicksilver and Misty. A good cozy story as usual.

[bkc56]

11175908

At least I hope so.

See my 2/11 comment below.

[Azure Drache]

My little Reviews & Feedback

[bkc56]

11238298
Thanks for the review. Sounds like you enjoyed the story.

[new55]

That was a good story.

[OConnerGT-R]

“So, my daddy’s…” She tilted her head. “A cop?”

“Pretty much, yes. And a very special kind of cop that works directly for Princess Celestia.” The filly sat silent, mouth agape. Citrine looked back at me. “He occasionally did undercover work, which is why he’d mask his cutie mark. Sometimes he’d dye his coat and mane too.”

The Royal Guard? Working undercover? I tried to make sense of this. It was as if I had been trying to assemble a jigsaw puzzle of clues using the picture from the wrong box. Nothing worked. I now had a new box, and a picture started to emerge. But this picture wasn’t complete yet. There were still a few pieces missing.

Citrine continued, “They wouldn't tell me anything about his current case. And they’ll be launching their own investigation into his… into this. They ask for copies of all my notes. Steel, those include everything I’ve gotten from you too.”

*From chapter five.

I actually forgot about this little twist here. While reading this off and on I couldn't remember how Windflower's dad was caught up in all of this, glad to see he was an undercover agent rather than a criminal as the latter is what I kept thinking he was until the reveal.

Graduation will guarantee me entrance to the police academy.

I don't think I can fully articulate how much I like the epilogue. It's great to see a flash forward of where Windflower is in life, as well as where she will eventually end up as time goes on. As I said when I first pre-read this, I also like that it gives you the chance to return to Windflower in another story.

You've done a great job with this story, and the edits made it even better. You've done a good job of making the Dark Steel stories standout from the Quicksilver and Misty stories you started out with, which is a good thing for any writer to do. I look forward to seeing where you take Steel as you write more stories for him. I also think you could do something with Windflower at some point, possibly even make her own spinoff story as a law enforcement officer of some kind. Keep up the good work.

[bkc56]

11263938

I also like that it gives you the chance to return to Windflower in another story.

Search your feelings. You already know it to be true.

[ArcherStern]

Mmh, how fitting.

A mare whose childhood was robbed from her by pain and loss, saved by a small but powerful act from an ex-detective--an act which also positively influenced the ex-detective--and now she goes on to begin a career to help those who are like her.

Her past has become the very fuel that pushes her ever-on upward.

[bkc56]

11621703
Thanks for the comments. It sounds like you enjoyed the story. I hope you'll keep reading the series.