TLittle Filly Lost

• MLP: FiM
• Dark
• Adventure
• Mystery

When the wagon wheel of Canterlot bureaucracy rolled over me, I found myself out of work and out of options. The last thing I needed was to find a little filly lost in the rain late one night. Or, perhaps, it was exactly what I needed.

• OC

bkc56 · 21k words  ·  65  3 · 654 views

Summary:

After losing his job as detective, the main character Dark Steel doesn’t know what to do with his life and so it goes downhill for him. This only stops when he finds a little filly sitting alone in the rain and his skills as a former detective are needed once more to help this little filly, as well as the little filly helps him to give his life a meaning again.

More detailed analysis

Well, another detective story by bkc56, this time however with a deeper emotional side to things since the pony in need of help is a little filly. This adds a lot more emotions and tension to the story than the previous one, The Painless Murders, which this story is a sequel to.

Having much more focus on the emotions than the actual detective work is a double-edged sword however. It is very tricky to get the balance between these two themes right. I think the author did a good job on that, though, he had some road bumps along the way.

Anyway, let us start with the good stuff again. Like in the previous story, the flow and pacing are very good and are making the read enjoyable. Also the main storyline has improved and leaves far more room for tension and allowing the reader to guess what happened themselves which is good. So the detective story part this time is great and there isn’t really anything big to complain about in general. Only a few minor things like that the puzzle pieces fit a little too well together and that the story is ignorant to a few side events that surely would happen. Like: ‘Noone takes issue that Steel, who was more or less a drunk quite beaten up stallion suddenly has a little filly by his side and she stays in his apartment’ Of course these are just side things that one can ignore, though, worth keeping in the back of the mind.

When we look at the emotional side however, which we should do since the story shifts the focus to it here, I can say most of the story is quite good. The bound Steel establishes with the little filly over time is done well and is able to raise emotions from the reader. Also it is believable and benefits the storyline greatly. Furthermore, the events are written in a way that you feel for the characters which is a very hard thing to do in my opinion and I have to congrat the author on a well done job for that. Though this is also where the problems for this story start. The little filly is the center of attention for the emotional scenes and showing her reactions and telling her backstory is the core of the emotional side of the story. It is done well, though, when this gets in conflict with the main storyline of the detective side, the little filly gets pushed aside. It is a little hard to explain, but while the scenes themselves are great for the filly, it feels like her mood and reactions are adjusted to benefit the storyline, not vice versa like it should be. The filly behaves like the story needs it and the story does not build around her emotional behavior.

To sum it up: This story is better than the previous one. An improved storyline, added emotional depth and the usual good detective work. Only real downside is the behavior by storyline demand aspect.

Rating:
Mystery:
7.5/10 An interesting riddle to solve with the right amount of hints. Nothing special, but a well done standart.
Drama (I know the story is adventure tagged but I think Drama is the focus here)
7/10 Well written characters, just a little flaw here and there.
Entertainment Factor
8/10 It was an enjoyable read, raised some emotions, provided a riddle to solve. Good stuff.

22.5/30

7.5/10

Thanks for reviewing the story.