- Member Since 25th Feb, 2013
- offline last seen Last Tuesday
KingofLazers
In a world where No Bio is Provided, one man will choose to waste your time by putting words in his Bio that have no bearing on him, or his content. These are his stories.
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There's honestly quite a lot of background information that gets touched on but you did manage to make this conversation come off more natural and more compelling than an exposition dump would be.
I kind of like how you set up some things here.
Humans somehow made contact with Equestria and saved ponies from enslavement but humanity are far from angels and are dominating the Equestrian states economically and culturally.
There's political tensions between Canterlot and separatist city states but much of the initial turbulence has passed and the question now is whether to reconcile or stay separated.
Edit:
It's a good first chapter that helps to establish the background for this world without having to go through the initial First Contact birthing pains and it doesn't seem like it's going for the extreme side of RGRE that honestly got old.
I'm genuinely curious on what lead up to Twilight ending up in Manehattan and needing to disguise herself. Twilight would be supportive of Celestia and would have done her best in the war effort, maybe there was a falling out between her and Celestia.
This is just some of my thoughts when reading the last chapter, odds are that this would be built on in later chapters.
I wonder how the human embassies would work, are these embassies for the United Nations as a whole that everyone has to share, did First Contact with ponies create a need for humanity to act together, are there multiple embassies for different major power?
It's fun to think that dragons have learned diplomacy and are playing pony nations off of each other given how individualistic and migratory dragons were in the show. Details like these that seem to be throwaway lines are pretty helpful in world building.
The few gripes that I have when to comes to some RGRE stories is that they can often get very rapey to the point that it gets uncomfortable or that they go overboard into gender flipped misogyny (or would that be misandry).
It kind of feels like the pony nations are in a similar position that human nations were after WW1 or during decolonization, many of them are newly established republics in places that don't have much experience with democracy and there will be ponies that will take advantage of that inexperience.
Gerrymandering, political dynasties, electoral tampering, elected demagogues fanning civil unrest, and political extremism would be relatively new problems in these new states.
Well shit, poor twiggy
Xavier ought to be very confused, alarmed, and maybe even a little bit violated since he randomly broke out into song, in the middle of an argument, in a language he doesn't speak natively under the influence of magic.
That could cause some cultural clash since this method of finding your "one true love" is considered normal to unicorns but could be a massive invasion of privacy and free will by a human.
The pony employee is being racist and the his kind of discrimination isn't okay, don't get me wrong, but she is right that the bookstore isn't a library so I'll give her that.
Edit: I don't like the undertones in that pro-Canterlot flier, the one implying that Celestia would get angry and "do something" if Manehattan doesn't rejoin Equestria.
Even if this doesn't reflect Celestia's own opinion, it does reflects the opinions and mindset of someone who might act on them.
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twilight is probs about to panic as in all her planning i dont think she predicted that she would get a responce from a human. might try and go back on her word of staying with whoever she got
How Twilight reacts will be determined by her motivation to find love. It could just be loneliness, but there hasn't been much to suggest that's the reason. The way she's behaving almost seems like Lesson Zero, like she feels she MUST acquire a lover to fulfill a requirement.
I suspect it has to do with the exact circumstances she came to be exiled or her final conversation with Celestia. Maybe even something along the lines of Celestia mentioning offhand that Twilight should find love and settle down somewhere outside the Kingdom, and Twilight internalizing that as an assignment from her mentor on some level.
"You have to love me or I can't mark it off the list!"
Oh so that's what happened. I can definitely see why pony cities would start rebelling after so many years of lying came out.
If Celestia and Luna truly did raise the sun and moon then the sole reason for Equestria to exist would be to ensure that Celestia and Luna are there to continue the cycle. Any country or entity that would attempt to attack sisters would be attempting to exterminate nearly all live from the planet.
But to find out that it was all a lie and that everyone spent thousands of years catering to two ponies that weren't needed in the first place would drive people to completely reject them.
I wonder what really happened during the Nightmare Moon incident.
On another note, I like the different names that people gave to the reveal about Celestia. The humans are emphasizing that everyone learned the truth about how the celestial bodies worked while everyone on this planet emphasizes how everyone's belief in Celestia has shattered.
Edit: Even with the lies being exposed, I do see why some ponies would prefer to remain a part of Equestria.
Equestria is the largest pony nation, ponies have a shared history of cooperation within Equestria for thousands of years, and both Celestia and Luna are still powerful magic users.
But given that the well-being of the Two Sisters isn't necessary for their survival, I could see them both having much reduced importance in the administration of Equestria.
With singing having a quantifiable and measured affect on the performance of any task, musicians would be in high demand.
I just hope that people are careful when some songs with more "questionable" lyrics, like if a peacekeeping force starts singing "Savages" from Pocahontas.
Alright, I generally make it a habit not to broadcast any fics I'm reading or have much of a presence beyond the interaction in my own stories, but I absolutely love your passive storytelling and your story so far. This is some very good stuff, neat and clean format, correct grammar and all that jazz. Very nice read, can't wait for more.
Are you ever going to go into detail about Sombra's defeat? Is he ever going to appear?
Congratulations you two morons. You just won second place in the Darwin Award of the century. Right behind Celestia for telling a massive lie that was 100% assured to be exposed at some point. That aside, how did you two win this prestegious torphy? Lets see. First, you just assaulted a guest from a foreign nation, which has painted a huge target on both your backs in a town neither of you have a single real ally in. Hope you like running from every cop, soldier, and bounty hunter in Manehattan with a price and "dead or alive" on your heads. Second, both of you just just torpedeoed any chance of a relationship. Hell Applejack might walk in her front door and get a letter opener in the neck from her former boyfriend when he hears about this. Third, your petty Princess is going to have to give a whole lot up - including your hides - to avoid seeing her entire freaking kingdom being carved up by humanity for a blatant terrorist attack. Assuming humanity doesn't just say "fuck it all - nuke/ gas the lot".
Oh and Toollight? Grow. The. F. Up. Just because something is painful to hear doesn't make it untrue.
Congratulations, takes a certain flair to create a character that actually ellicts hatred from me. Not disgust at bad writing, I'm talking outright hatred for the character.
Yeah, chasing after someone who is scared and doesn't understand what's going on is only going to freak them out even more no matter what "good" intentions you had.
Gerard isn't helping things either by being an accomplice on what we would consider harassment and attempted false imprisonment / kidnapping.
Out of all three of them, this reflects the worst on Gerard. Applejack and Twilight have the "benefit" of doubt in that they are acting on what (I assume) would be appropriate pony behavior but Gerard is human, most likely grew up in a human country (most likely one that speaks English if you go by his name), and should know better.
Given the age rating and the tags for this story, Xavier is liable to lash out and hurt someone in a bit to escape. News of ponies harassing an innocent human, aided by a "species traitor" as the media might call him, might not go down well back on Earth.
Now this is definitely becoming more interesting.
We now see that Xavier has a reason to be in Equestria and has existing connections to ponies, we see that glipses of human culture bleeding into the cultures of the various species of this world, and we have more knowledge of the war against Sombra and what happened to various characters from the show.
While there's a few moral conundrums with Xavier knowing how to make 'unicorn traps', I'd say it's best for every species to be able to have counters to each other - especially with unicorns and their ease of channeling magic into spells.
I'd be all for Earth Ponies learning how to use the magic that Celestia scrubbed from history. In all honesty, with the background of this story, it would be best to knock Canterlot, the unicorn nobility, and Celestia down a few pegs.
On a final note, it's always weird to learn a word and suddenly see it showing up more often in your life. I only learned what a haboob was a month ago and now I've seen it a few times.
I love the world building! Ugh... damn it! Now I have to wait again.
Curse you KingofLazers. Good stuff as always.
Oh, this is going to get... messy. 😎
Wonder if Xavier remembered to bring a hammer as well. Nothing takes an uppity teacher's pet unicorn down a few pegs like getting her horn smashed down to a stump.
So Celestia is a racist ex-unicorn whose spent her life trying to cement the other two tribes position as quasi-slaves. Including deliberately skewing the gender ratio to make magic easier for her "chosen race". A plan into which Sombra threw a massive pipe wrench (aka not dying and breaking unicorn magic), a wooden shoe (exposing her lie about raising the sun), and followed up with a bottle of nitroglycerine called humanity. Almost have to respect the dark king. Not only has that got to be one of the biggest "f you" in history, but history will eventually remember him as the stallion who unmasked Celestia as a bigger monster.
Next chapter please.
Even though Celestia is described to be a horrible person, it is hard for me to imagine she did what she did to the Earth Ponies out of racism.
For a thousand year-old who had centuries of self-reflection and conflict, it is hard for me to think she would do something purely out of some primitive mentality like racism.
Well, I read this text in one breath, and I can say that this world / universe looks really interesting, and most importantly, it is quite justified, in general, I like it and look forward to continuing
First, confirmation that Celestia is racist bitch of a control freak. Reporting "forbidden" magic? Oh does that ever scream police state ala late 1930s Germany. Especially when the only apparent "sanctioned" magic is Unicorn-exclusive.
Second, someone PLEASE put a damn bullet in Toollight's head. That big a pure vacuum without collapsing violates every law of physics. At this point I think its safe to say that she has zero ability to have an independent thought and no sense of tact or even basic social skills.
Hopefully in a chapter or two she'll get the sort of incredibly traumatic and painful wakeup call to whatever mush passes for her brain she needs. Like shoving her worship of Celestia aside and actually ask others who aren't howling bigots or inbred idiots for help in understanding humans. And maybe picking up basic common sense and social skills in the process.
Good work yet again, Lazers.
I’m so lost…
Damn, that was a lot to unpack! Dude’s got a plan now, though.
I have to say, this has been extremely entertaining. Bravo on the world building, it’s certainly caught my interest!
Foreshadowing?
Ironic ant it? Twilight works at a library just like if not the same one are human wanted to visit. What's up with the heart song? This some spell to find the best mate you can?
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Wish granted...sorta
Okay, so I take it that Pinkie and maybe a few other elements are dead due to the fact Maud has taken over the rock farm. I really like the story and the RGRE aspect.
Dude just wants to die.
¿Los ponys pueden comer papas?
Cree que su escuela era de locos, mi secundaria fue en un aula con una única puerta de metal que se abría del lado de afuera, la ventana tenía rejas y daba a un patio con una caida de varios metros y en una esquina había un detector de movimiento.
¿Es una cárcel?
No, era una escuela pública en LATAM.
¿EH?
Esperaba mas RGRE, pero sigue siendo entretenido.
Anyone else have this overpowering urge to take their hands and throttle the life out of Toollight? That is one serious annoting brat.
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Well, truth be told, they're both very combative and stubborn. No one took on a diplomatic approach, and while Twilight certainly is in the wrong here, Xavier isn't clean in this situation either. She doesn't know what to expect, and with her background, hasn't had much room to mellow out and put her best hoof forward.
EDIT: Great work as always Lazers!
:D
Sharing dreams, are they, well that's fun. Xav, I recommend heading for the Crystal Republic and getting the buck outta dodge.
I need an explanation. I don't understand exactly why Xav ran back to Twilight in the tunnel. He bolted thinking he was going to die or something like that. So why go back? He was terrified before that moment. Either I missed his reasoning or something changed.
The story feels a bit off sense then. The start was very slowz but definitely picked up after the tunnel encounter, but I'm still not sure I understand Xavier's motivations in all this. Some of it is due to the lack of history and backstory, but it feels to me there's information that I'm just not seeing. For that matter, was his reasoning for coming here in the first place just to fire arrowsctor Quill? I don't remember another reason being mentioned.
I like the world being built, but I'm just a bit lost; everything is still covered in shadows.
This certainly was an inclusive riot, you have Earth Ponies, Unicorns, Pegasi, Dragons, Griffons, Humans, and maybe even more joining in on the chaos.
That Scorched Earth spell sounds like it has some serious implications when it comes to terrorism, both domestic and abroad.
Speaking of riots, I wonder what Discord is up to these days. With the politically charged riots, resurgent tribalism, Celestia's reputation alternating between tyrant, fraud, and violent revanchist, and the new ideas and issues that humans brought with them, he really doesn't need to do anything to cause chaos.
At the end of the day, I hope that the separatists win the vote because this forces Canterlot and the remainers to actually follow through with their threats or shows that they're full of hot air.
Típico soldado yanqui, se mete en una guerra que no es suya y luego se queja.
Un dia normal en Latam.
Un dia normal en Latam.
We'll be waiting.
Ah, Equestria, such a peaceful place.
This first was really well written. Pretty impressive to be honest
I am beginning to wonder if she wasn't lying. Maybe major magic like that just stopped working because our universes are linked
Sad criminally awkward Twiggles.
Ollo?
I love you so much for that.
Now.... bring out the "Black Mamba"!
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It's АLIVE!
Wowzers, this was a great Thanksgiving gift. Hope you had a Happy Thanksgiving.
It's great seeing how the war affected people, from those in power to the common men and women, and how people were taken advantage of.
I have to agree somewhat with the Dragon representative, after the reveal Celestia and Luna can't threaten anyone with eternal day or eternal night. That being said, the alicorns do have substantial magical power and they do control the vast majority of unicorns.
I never thought about the grasshopper and locust comparison with the two "types" of Changelings before, kudos for that. It's short, descriptive, and "locust" doubles as a slur against parasitical Changelings.
Gracias por el cap. Estaba esperando una entrega con mas rebeldía de Xavier.
well that child might be in for a bad time with a whole pony landing on her. i hope ponys are light in this story