• Member Since 25th Feb, 2013
  • offline last seen March 19th

KingofLazers


In a world where No Bio is Provided, one man will choose to waste your time by putting words in his Bio that have no bearing on him, or his content. These are his stories.

Comments ( 66 )

HUZZAAAA! FIRST POST. now this is monumentious.... oh well. great story and keep up the great work. i apologize in advance for the spelling errors i can see. ive been up a looong time now lolz. thumbs up good sir

Not really a fan of the Gentlemenverse.

The main problem of this fic is :

WALL OF TEXT !

You should really space it more, it's really tiring to read it.

Really really liked it....

The clashes, the misconceptions, it all works really well together.

The only suspension of belief for me was how welcoming he was to her and then say to his buddy how horrible it was and desired her to leave... I see him two-faced, if that makes any sense...

I dont mind the wall of text, it flows so well for me that I didnt even notice it.

Hope to see more! I love the Gentlemenverse... Just an interesting concept.

Well, keep up the great work!

This is fantastic! Just needs a little proofing, and maybe paragraph the chapters? This is awesome; at first I didn't know what was going on but then it 'clicked', aah, it's jumping back and forth. Awesome.

I like where this story is going, oh the drama and the...racism. Fuck those ponies, really! :flutterrage:

Also Verde is the best pony.

I found this to be quite enjoyable.

... I see what... *sighs* Silly Jason...

You could use an editor or prereader to go over your stuff, but... Not bad. Good enough to fav and like, at least. :pinkiesmile:

No mare wants a stallion that can give his seed

Err... Unless I misunderstood a previous chapter, don't you mean CAN'T give his seed? :rainbowhuh:

loving the story so far! That balls part though, ooh, made me cringe a bit :fluttershyouch:

Good grief, that was painful to read.

Dude. Author person. Work on your grammar, punctuation and all that. Or, get a pre-reader willing to fix the mess. Please. Otherwise, i'm afraid your story is almost completely unreadable.

I was unsure about this at first but the description sounded interesting. read threw it and i think its actually really good. just odd flowing with time jumping back and forth.

Bowel? Pretty sure you meant bowl...

Is english not your first language?

Edit: Animal abuse? Seriously? I can only facepalm so hard.Talk about uneducated countryside idiots...

By Discords beard, the time line jumping is making me nauseous. That and a few spelling and grammar errors.

Over all interesting story arc, I'm gonna keep an eye on you.

:rainbowlaugh: I was laughing through this entire chapter.

Key words being "get caught". So long as he's never caught...

|Yes Jason, I will need you to have rut with me every month when I go into heat.” Verde finished.

I VOLUNTEER!

To paraphrase Churchill; Two people separated by a common language.:twilightoops:

Using over cooked noodles as a noodle incident?
Excellent.

This is going to sound really small, but I love how you refer to fingers/hands as "blunt claws", as ponies don't know what hands are, as seen in Equestria Girls.

It's a good story, I'm enjoying this new perspective. A few things i need to comment on: the constant time shifting is a tad disorienting, flashbacks aren't a bad idea but when every chapter is at a different point in time either forward or back it makes the story a bit hard to follow. My only other comment is that I think you need an editor. There's several grammatical errors throughout chapters as well as words that seem randomly thrown in sentences that don't need to be there. Easily fixable stuff, I can volunteer some time if you have noone else. All that aside it's a good story as I stated before. I'll defitiely track and wait for more.

A very cute story. I look forward to seeing how things turn out for these two.

It feels so weird reading this story with each chapter being near 50-40 days apart, jumping back and forth. Still I enjoy it.

wow

he was kind enough to let verde in out of compassion yet has a bottled up jerkass personality

I like how you portrayed their home town as being full of racist assholes. It makes this more interesting.

That said, your early chapters are in desperate need of an editor with plenty of mispelled words among other errors. However your latest chapters seem to be improving on that front.

vaccine against a few Earth born diseases

East. Nile. River. Virus.
Cause if that gets to Equestria, shit hits the fan, hard.

2887474

I thought it was established hat there wasn't any pathogen crossover between universes? Hm.

2891885

We're still species from entirely alien ecosystems and evolutionary trees and different fundamental laws of physics. The likelihood of successful pathogen crossover seems unbelievably slim.

Oh my. Things just can't go easy for these two can they?

2892030 Unless the equines have the same basic ancestry and the time lines of evolution spilt at a certain point, ala "Xenophiliaverses" (I am now the guy comparing HiE backstories.) So some basic simularities in cross-universal biology may apply.

Also, why would they be immunising against earth born diseases if they where immune?

2892066

...Yes. Yes, that was the implied question. "I thought it was established hat there wasn't any pathogen crossover between universes. Therefore, why would they be immunizing against earth born diseases?"

2893085

Way back when, I thought, I'd have to re-read the stories to find the specific reference.

This is one of your better chapters, I really like your exploring herd psychology.

I am late to this story and have cot up to chapter 18. I do hope you will write more of this story. You have dun a lot to improve my perceptions of this world. Keep up the work and I hope to see an new chapter soon. :moustache:

I find the behavior of the doctor inconsistent with what she herself is saying. Apparently mental stability and being able to handle stress is a big deal for anyone going to and from Equestria yet every single time we see her she's insulting, belittling or condescending whoever she's talking to, and not in a casual setting but while she's supposed to be doing her job.

It doesn't matter how good or bad her intentions are, she just doesn't fit her own standards, even though she obviously had to go through the same screening as everyone else and she's supposed to be a professional she's either not able to rein in her own emotions or she hates where she is so much the stress has gotten to her more than anyone else I've seen in this fic so far.

At this point I can think they can probably just file a report declaring her unfit for her job to get her sent back to Earth and getting their case assigned to someone else who may have a different opinion.

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2893168
Due to the very good points you two brought up, I made some major revisions on the chapter today. If you guys need more info, I wrote a blog post about it.

This story just keeps growing on me. I really like it, the jumping around is kinda frustrating but in a really good and interesting way. Keep up the good work.

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A pleasure to be of service.

Huh... That's a good point. Most ponies would find the level of formal education in the human world startling- they only seem to have basic education, and then only further supliment their learning as interest or profession needs.

This chapter was very nice, but it feels like it stopped halfway through. I would have liked to have seen where their conversation was headed.

Keep up the good work, you hear?

how long do ponies study here in the gentlemanverse?

or live for that matter?

2787477 It's more like a "Spell check is NOT your friend" Moment. It's *a* correctly spelled word... just likely not the one he intended.

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