Let Me Bear Your Burden

by Boltstrike58

I Will Take It All

As she stuffed the last book into her locker, Sunset Shimmer let out a massive sigh of relief. Today had been exhausting, to say the least. Miss Harshwhinny had thrown a particularly difficult test at everyone, and while they'd had time to prepare for it, even with Twilight's rigorous study sessions it had been hard to drag some knowledge out of the depths of her brain. Then, in gym, Coach Iron Will had everyone run an entire 5k, and Sunset was not the athletic type. Midterms were coming up as well, so a good portion of the day had been spent reviewing material. Sunset was spent.

Still, at least it was over, and the weekend was upon her. Sunset closed her locker, attaching her personal padlock to it. Then she hoisted her backpack up and dug her phone out of her pocket, already looking forward to a relaxing weekend with her girlfriend, Wallflower.

Sunset had initially been a little worried about how her relationship would affect her time with the rest of the Rainbooms. After all, none of them were dating anybody (Twilight and Timber were technically exempt, for some reason only Twilight fully understood), and she wondered if it would throw off their group dynamic. However, they'd all been as supportive as possible, accepting Wallflower Blush with open arms, and inviting her to all their gatherings. Wallflower had even been offered a position in the band, but she'd politely declined, as she had no interest in music.

Sunset shot Wallflower a quick text, making sure the green girl was waiting for her at the south exit. Upon receiving the affirmative reply, Sunset smiled, and began making her way to the edge of the school. As she walked, she mulled over how she and Wallflower had gotten together in the first place.

In the aftermath of the Memory Stone incident, Sunset, wanting to keep her word, had done her absolute best to try and befriend Wallflower. Thus, the two of them had gone shopping, spent time together polishing up the yearbook, and Sunset had even shown her Equestria, knowing she'd been fascinated by all the flora there that didn't grow in this world. After an embarrassing incident involving some poison joke that Sunset didn't want to think about, Wallflower had confessed that she'd been attracted to the former unicorn for quite a while. Sunset had gone out with her, and found that the attraction was mutual, leading to a happy and fulfilling relationship. They'd only just barely kissed for the first time, but Sunset felt elated all the same.

Wallflower Blush was just so special. A lot of people thought all there was to her was her gardening, and while that was her biggest hobby, there were so many more wonderful things about her for Sunset to learn. There was the fact that she liked jelly sandwiches without the peanut butter, the way she snorted whenever she laughed, and even the tiny things, like the way she played with her hair whenever she was nervous. It made Sunset wonder how she'd managed to barely notice Wallflower's existence for all these years.

As she pushed open the door, Sunset saw her significant other standing by the nearest tree, the place they'd pretty much claimed at their own. Wallflower sheepishly raised her hand and waved, and Sunset responded in kind. The green girl was still pretty shy, even after a month of dating, but Sunset didn't care. It was just one of Wallflower's enduring personality traits she wouldn't change for the world.

"Hi, Wally!" Sunset called across the lawn, as she ran towards her girlfriend. It was the only pet name they agreed on for her. Sunset was more accepting of that sort of thing, but Wallflower usually stuck to calling her Sunny.

"Hi, Sunny,"Wallflower replied more quietly, but with no less enthusiasm.

The two of them hugged briefly, before parting. "So what were you planning for the weekend?" asked Wallflower.

"You know, we don't always have to do what I want," Sunset replied. "You can pick this time."

Wallflower shook her head. "I'm still not used to being social, and I'm afraid I'd end up picking something boring. Honestly, it's better if you pick."

Sunset frowned a little, feeling concerned about her girlfriend. It was true that Wallflower had been making some pretty good strides towards being more open, and Sunset didn't mind the fact that she was quiet and didn't speak up very often, but she worried about the green girl sometimes. Wallflower tended to agree with pretty much all of Sunset's dating suggestions, and never brought up her own ideas, and, to Sunset at least, that warranted some unease. Sunset wanted Wallflower to enjoy herself, and be her own person, instead of just some trophy on Sunset's arm. Sure, Wallflower made Sunset happy, but she wanted Wallflower to be happy, too.

"Wallflower, you're not a boring person. I know you personally, I can say that without fear of contradiction. I'm sure you'll come up with good ideas. If you don't want to, I won't force you, but I promise, you couldn't let me down if you tried." Then she slowly reached forward and grabbed Wallflower's hand.

Unfortunately, in her haste to get out of school for the day, Sunset had forgotten a crucial thing: the removal of her geode. Normally, this wouldn't have been a problem, as she was capable of suppressing her powers so she didn't accidentally read the minds of everyone she touched. However, at the current moment, Rainbow was using her super speed like crazy again, trying to get away from Zephyr Breeze, causing another surge in the magic of the others' geodes. At that moment, everything around Twilight began levitating, and Sunset's tactile telepathy powers kicked in without her wanting them to.

She's probably only with me out of sympathy—

I know I don't deserve her, or even deserve to be near her—

Her friends probably think I'm just dead weight—

I wish I still had the Memory Stone, so I could erase her knowledge of me—

I'm so insignificant, it wouldn't matter if I just ceased to exist—

Sunset reeled back, her eyes glowing white, clutching her skull as the avalanche of self-loathing thoughts bombarded her brain like meteors. Wallflower Blush gasped in shock, knowing exactly what Sunset had done.

"You...you just..."

"It was an accident!" Sunset protested, yanking off her necklace. "I didn't mean to, I just—" Then she froze, as her brain began to kick in, and comprehend all the new thoughts swirling around in her head. She looked at Wallflower, as tears started to gather at the corners of her eyes.

"Don't you dare pity me!" Wallflower snapped, suddenly angry. "I know you're only dating me because you do, and I won't let you—"

Her words died on her lips, as she saw Sunset flinch back from the biting remarks. Sunset could tell Wallflower knew she'd said the wrong thing, but it was too late. Wallflower's eyes began to water, and Sunset rushed over to comfort her, but was blocked when Wallflower held up her hands.

"Wally...I—"

"Now you know," Wallflower managed to sob out, "why I'm too broken for you."

Then she buried her face in her hands, and ran off, crying. Sunset, still staggered by the storm of despair she'd experienced, couldn't muster the strength to chase after her.

---

"And that's why I asked you all here."

It was about an hour later, and the Rainbooms had all gathered at Sunset's apartment following a mass text form her. Sunset had just finished explaining the incident with Wallflower and her empathy powers, though, of course, she hadn't relayed Wallflower's exact thoughts in the name of the other girl's privacy. The other six girls had all listened closely, only interrupting for Rainbow to explain why Sunset had experienced a sudden magic surge.

"Sorry about that," said Rainbow, awkwardly scratching her head. "Zephyr was getting on my nerves, and he wouldn't take a hint, and I just zoomed off without thinking."

"It's not your fault, Rainbow," replied Sunset. "I should've remembered to take off my geode."

"If anything, it's Zephyr's fault," agreed Rainbow, and six of the girls shared a small laugh before Fluttershy silenced them with a glare.

"Well, this is a bit of a conundrum, isn't it?" said Rarity. "I'm assuming you don't just need our help apologizing to Wallflower."

Sunset nodded. "Yeah, I can handle that. It's more the fact that I know exactly how terrible she's feeling right now, and I know for certain she's not even trying to get help for it. Logically, I can't force her into therapy or anything, and even if I did, it probably wouldn't help because she didn't do it of her own free will, but I want to do something to help her. The thing is, I don't know what to do."

Everyone was silent for a while, even Pinkie. Twilight scribbled down a few notes in her binder, before closing and resting her chin in her hand, thinking.

"Well," she began, "like you said, we can't force Wallflower to do anything. The best idea I can come up with is to simply show her the resources that are available to her and encourage her to use them."

"That might work," agreed Fluttershy, "but maybe she'd see that as condescending, like we think she's too dumb to find ways to get help herself."

"Good point, I hadn't thought of that."

"I don't know what else we can do," added Applejack. "None of us really have experience with depression or anything like that. At least I don't think we do, I apologize if I'm wrong. What if we end up saying the wrong thing and making her feel worse?"

"I already know that Wallflower doesn't really like parties," said Pinkie, "so we can rule that out. Besides, I don't even enjoy the parties I throw when I'm feeling down."

Rarity shrugged. "I'm sorry, Sunset, but I honestly don't think we're going to be much help here. We care about Wallflower, but it looks like none of us know what to say."

Sunset waved it off. "It's okay, girls. It's not your fault. And at least you're all trying."

Sunset folded her arms, lying back in her chair, and thought. All the painful thoughts and emotions she'd felt from Wallflower had certainly been overwhelming. Now that she thought about it, there was something familiar about them, too. Sunset couldn't put her finger on it, but she could've sworn the experience wasn't new to her...

The answer hit Sunset like a lightning bolt. It was the same feeling she'd had after the Fall Formal, after the harmony blast that had defeated her. She hadn't shared this with the others, but in the moment the magic had hit her, she'd been forced to experience all the pain, the shame, the sadness she'd inflicted on everyone throughout her time as a cruel, selfish person. She'd even felt the despair Celestia had when she'd run away from Equestria. It was part of the reason she'd been so motivated to turn her life around and become better. She guessed it was the Elements of Harmony trying to teach her humility, and how her actions affected others. But, in the moments after her defeat, she'd experienced something similar to what Wallflower was going through now. She'd despised her own existence, wishing more than anything she could just go back and erase herself, preventing the suffering of so many. What had helped her come out of that dark spot?

The answer was right there in front of her.

"Girls," she began, "I think I know what to do."

"Really?" asked Rainbow. "That was fast. Did you have some kind of epiphany?"

"That's a good way of putting it. Okay, here's what I need from you girls..."

---

It was with a stomach full of butterflies, plus the letter clutched in her hand, that Sunset made her way to Wallflower's house. She'd tried texting, but had gotten nothing in response. So she'd decided to check out Wallflower's usual spots, hoping to find her and talk to her. Whether or not Wallflower would be receptive to her words was another question entirely, but she supposed it was worth a try.

Wallflower Blush's home was a perfectly ordinary suburban household, painted bright blue, with a single car sitting in the driveway. Sunset had been here before, when Wallflower had introduced her to her parents, and that had gone over pretty well. She hoped that she was still in their good books, or else she might not even get the chance to see Wallflower.

She walked up to the plain door, balled her fist, and knocked three times. She then began rocking back and forth on her feet, hoping that somebody would open it before she lost her nerve.

Her prayers were answered, thankfully, as the door was pulled open, revealing White Rose, Wallflower's mother.

"Sunset?" she asked. "I was wondering if you were coming here, Wallflower's shut herself up in her room. Did you two have a fight or something?"

"Well, uh...." Sunset stammered, "it's kinda complicated. Anyway, I was hoping I could apologize to her. Can I come in?"

White Rose nodded, standing aside. "I know you'd never hurt her. And you make her so happy."

Sunset put on a smile, but the fear was still creeping down her spine. She walked to the staircase, and slowly began her ascent. It took a great deal of effort to push herself up each step, but Sunset managed. She soon made her way to Wallflower's room, where the door was closed. Hesitating only for a second, Sunset knocked.

"Wallflower? Can I come in?"

There was no response. Sunset, out of desperation, grabbed the handle and twisted it, finding it unlocked. That was one stroke of good luck. She pushed open the door.

Sunset found Wallflower's room was unchanged from the last time she'd seen it. There was a handful of small potted plants placed near the window, where they'd get the most sunlight. There was a desk, where Wallflower's laptop sat. Then there was a shelf filled with books, though not all of them were botany related.

Then there was the bed, where Wallflower herself sat, her knees pulled into her chest. Her eyes weren't dripping with tears anymore, but anybody looking at her could tell she was in a pretty depressed mood.

"Wallflower? Can I come in?" Sunset asked again.

The green girl spoke no words in response, but she gave a small, barely perceivable nod. Sunset decided that was probably as good as she was going to get and walked inside, setting herself onto the bed next to Wallflower.

"So, um...it's been a bad day, hasn't it?"

"You could say that, yes," Wallflower replied, her voice low and weak.

Sunset sighed, quietly so Wallflower wouldn't notice. This clearly wasn't going to be easy, but she supposed their was nothing to do but bite the bullet (by the way, where did humans get that expression?).

"Listen, I'm sorry I—" then she stopped as Wallflower held up a hand.

"I believed you when you said it was an accident. You never read somebody's mind unless there's some big magic crisis going on. I'm guessing one of the others was using their powers, and you had a surge, and you just did it?" Sunset nodded. "That's what I thought. You don't have to apologize."

"I still feel like I should. Even if I didn't mean to, it was still a massive invasion of privacy."

"Well, for what it's worth, Sunset, I do accept your apology." Wallflower sighed and covered her eyes. "Even though this is the moment where we break up."

Sunset almost fell from her seat. "You think I wanna break up with you?" she exclaimed. "Why on Earth would I want to break up with you after this?"

"I didn't think you would. You're too nice of a person for that. Even after what I did to you with the Memory Stone, you treated my like any other person."

"Then...you..." Sunset could've sworn she felt her heart stopping.

"Of course, I don't want to break up with you," Wallflower insisted. "But now that you know about what I'm really like, we won't work out."

Sunset blinked. "Um, did I miss a vital piece of information when I read you mind? So you've got self-esteem problems. That's not a deal-breaker!"

"Sunset, I am so far beyond 'self-esteem problems' it's not even funny." Wallflower got up and stood in the middle of the room, arms spread wide. "Look at me. I'm a dumpy, socially-maladjusted nobody who likes plants." Then she pointed at Sunset. "Look at you. You're an amazingly talented, brilliant, attractive magical unicorn-turned-human from another dimension. I just weigh you down." She slumped. "I don't know what I was thinking when I asked you out."

Sunset almost started shouting, but managed to stop herself. After all, when she'd been down, somebody yelling at her certainly wouldn't have helped.

"Look, Wallflower," she began, "I can't say I know what you're going through, because that would be lying. Even after reading your mind, I don't know what it's like to be you. But there's one thing I can say for certain: I care about you, and I want you to be happy. And the idea that you're not good enough for me just isn't true." She reached into her jacket pocket, pulling out an envelope. "Here, I want you to look at this."

Wallflower still had a doubting look on her face, but she took it anyway. Ripping open the seal, she pulled out a folded piece of paper, which she unfolded. There, she discovered six paragraphs, each written in different handwriting. She began to read them one by one, eyes growing wider with each passing word.

Dear Wallflower,

From what Sunset told us, you're going through a pretty hard time. Obviously, I can't know how difficult it is for you, but I'm certain it can't be easy to get through the days. What I can do is tell you that we're all here for you. None of us will ever judge you or demean you, and we will do anything we can to support you.

Fluttershy

Hiya Wallflower! I'm sorry we didn't notice you were sad! Seeing anybody with a frowny face just breaks my heart! But we know now, and we'll do whatever it takes to make you feel better. I know you're not crazy about parties, so I won't throw you any without asking. But I will do everything I can to make the bad go away!

Pinkie Pie

My Dearest Wallflower Blush,

It pains me to know that you were going through such difficulties without us knowing. Not that I'm cross with you, darling, you have a right to your privacy, I just wish we could've helped you sooner. But now that I do know, I shall do everything within my power to assist you. You are a kind and wonderful person, and I can understand why Sunset loves you. If you require anything, please ask.

Warmest regards,

Rarity

Hey there, Wallflower. First off, I wanna apologize in advance for how my section of this note is gonna turn out. You and I aren't super close, but you know I'm not great at being emotionally vulnerable. Anyway, this is about you, not me. I'm so sorry about the problems you're dealing with right now. I promise, I will never turn my back on you just because you're having problems. I will always stand by you like I stand by the others.

Rainbow Dash

Howdy, Wallflower,

I'm pretty sure Rainbow said something similar to this, but I'm sorry if I'm not very good at this. What I can say is that there's no problem you can have that would make us desert you. I may not fully understand what you're going through, but I know that I'm willing to help you. You matter to all of us, and making you feel better will be our priority.

Applejack

Dear Wallflower Blush,

First, I want you to know that we're all here for you. And not just because you're Sunset's girlfriend, we care about you as an individual. I don't know if you're having that kind of fear (Sunset didn't tell us anything specific for your sake), but if you are, I want to put them to rest. Believe me, I know what it's like to feel as though somebody's only hanging around you for someone else. My counterpart is the Princess of Friendship, for crying out loud! But you are an important person to all of us, and we will do whatever we can to help you.

Your friend,

Twilight Sparkle

Wallflower's eyes scanned over the letter one more time, as her eyes began to water. Her hands shook, and she seemed close to dropping the note.

"I didn't write one, because I wanted to tell you in person," Sunset added. "You're the best thing to happen to me in a long time. I don't care how long it takes, we will find a way to make you feel better. Anything you need, I'll give it to you. Please, Wally, let us do everything we can." Sunset got to her feet.

That broke the dam. Wallflower dropped the letter to the ground, her hands flying up to her eyes and covering them as she started to cry. Sunset stepped forward, putting her arms around her girlfriend, pulling her close and allowing Wallflower to cry into her shoulder.

"I-I'm sorry..." Wallflower managed to squeak out in between sobs. "I just...didn't think...they cared so much..."

"I know you didn't," replied Sunset, "but now you know they do. I promise, we'll get you the help you need."

Wallflower didn't respond, but raised her arms up, hugging Sunset back as she continued to cry. Sunset merely stood there, holding her close, allowing her to let out all the emotion. Finally, after a little while, Wallflower managed to exhaust her supply of tears, and backed off from Sunset, wiping her eyes.

"I think...I'm gonna need some counseling," she admitted, looking a tad embarrassed.

"Twilight knows a guy. He helped her out after the whole Midnight Sparkle debacle," said Sunset. "I'm sorry to ask, but I have to know: why didn't you try it before?"

Wallflower sighed. "I was afraid. I thought, if I sought out any help, it would be admitting there was something wrong with me, and that would make it real, and I would lose you and the others. I know, it doesn't really make sense, but when you're in that space, logic kinda goes out the window."

Sunset laughed a little at the joke, before putting her palms on Wallflower's shoulders. "They meant what they wrote, you know. Just ask for anything you need, and we'll give it to you."

Wallflower nodded, giving the first genuine smile she'd had during the whole conversation. "I know."

---

Several days later...

The therapy clinic looked fairly inviting. It was a simple grey building, with a pair of windows on its street-facing side, and a door inscribed with the doctor's name. All in all, it probably could've looked worse.

Wallflower sighed to herself, but all it took was a quick glance behind her to see seven girls, with their bright smiling faces, giving her all their support without even saying a word. Sunset stepped forward, taking Wallflower's hand and giving her a reassuring squeeze. Wallflower, in a rare moment of passion, grabbed Sunset's head, planting a kiss on her mouth.

"Wish me luck, Sunny," she whispered into Sunset's ear, before she turned and walked into the clinic.

Sunset blushed, raising a hand to her face in mild embarrassment while the others chuckled a bit at the display.

"I'd get annoyed at the PDA," said Rainbow, "but screw it, that was cute."

"You think she'll be okay?" asked Twilight.

"I know she will be," replied Sunset. "Not immediately, but she will be."

Comments

[Pete100]

The feels are real.

[Scampy]

This was really really sweet

[SunTwi06]

Huh, I didn't expect this picture to be used(I was gonna use this for my story) but here it is. Oh, and I enjoyed the story

[Posh]

"I already know that Wallflower doesn't really like parties," said Pinkie, "so we can rule that out. Besides, I don't even enjoy the parties I throw when I'm feeling down."

“I mean, except for that Donner party I threw, but even that felt like I was bein’ eaten alive.”

[Lord Camembert]

YOU
What charity would you like your donation to go to?

[Boltstrike58]

10744630
Oh, right, thanks for reminding me about that. I chose the LGBT Community Center.

[23 KM To Nerdiness]

soloquotes.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/Motivational-Quotes-Stay-Amazing.jpg

[Zerocool7785]

I prefer Twilight/Sunset but this one is pretty good. I liked that Wallflower angle it really captures how I imagined she felt.

[Boltstrike58]

10781331
Thanks.

[23 KM To Nerdiness]

10856392

[Ibliscorn]

I must say that this was quite an enjoyable read and really nailed what Wallflower is going through as someone who also dealing those same fear and beyond self-esteem issues….especially this part:

Wallflower sighed. "I was afraid. I thought, if I sought out any help, it would be admitting there was something wrong with me, and that would make it real, and I would lose you and the others. I know, it doesn't really make sense, but when you're in that space, logic kinda goes out the window."

That hit me like a freight train as it’s the same reasoning my brain use for anything; “If I don’t acknowledge it, there’s nothing wrong”

To anyone else who feels this way, I hope you get the help you need and be surrounded by everlasting love. We all need support and there is nothing wrong with asking for it….that took years to finally learn.

[Boltstrike58]

10931353
Thanks.