• Published 14th Mar 2021
  • 4,669 Views, 34 Comments

A Narrow Bunk on a Train - AtomicClop



Dash blows Sunburst's mind, then his load.

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Comments ( 28 )

Okay, so my estimation of the fallout was a bit off. :rainbowlaugh:

"Eau de Whorehouse?" Really, AJ? :unsuresweetie:

Applejack looked at him. "Dash, he's bruised like he pissed off the Los Alicornios Police."

Jesus christ I spat my drink out.

~Skeeter The Lurker

This was a fun read I hope there will be a story to follow this couple, I love clop with dorky Sunburst. Let me know if you are planning to a cover art too.

Classic top-shelf stuff. Cute Sunburst, very Dashy Dash, and an appropriately pragmatic Applejack.
Rocket-hot smut is always a plus. :V

"Separating ourselves after your cum dried in our pubic fluff."

:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

Great story. I really enjoyed it.

Hillbe #8 · March 14th · · 3 ·

:ajbemused: What's on the breakfast menu? I smell a sweet Bar-B-Q !
:duck: !!!
:applejackconfused: You and little ole Spike?
:raritystarry: ...
:twilightsmile: Kirin breeding experiment!
:moustache: And best of all she thinks she thought of it,,,
:rainbowhuh: Yo a little help here! I don't want to miss out on breakfast! I smell Smoky tuna and sausage!
:applejackconfused: All my friends are deviants and sex maniacs
:pinkiegasp: Have you heard what Discord can do?!
:flutterrage: No Pinkie he's MINE
:facehoof: and I thought there was a friendship lesson somewhere here...

This was a fun one, you do a great version of Dashie :rainbowwild:

Pretty sure I can tell you who's gonna be on top without even reading it. :trollestia:

10722417
Sure there's a friendship lesson.

:pinkiegasp: Have you heard what Discord can do?!
:flutterrage: No Pinkie he's MINE

it's called sharing.

:rainbowlaugh:

Hillbe #13 · March 15th · · 2 ·

10722672
:rainbowderp: Yo, a little help here! We're still stuck!
:twilightsmile: You know there's 15 flavors of Discord?
:fluttercry: Oh but there's more... "If you call in the next fifteen minutes you also get..."
:twilightoops: Wut?
:fluttershysad: I'm sorry, We're expecting a little Anarchy :facehoof:

:duck: and I refuse to smell like a bordello or a sweaty speak easy
:moustache: Plus I make a nifty heater
:raritywink: No messy bed sheets either
:moustache: It's a dragon thing... I burn them
:trollestia: We're already dealing with an out of control laundry budget
:rainbowhuh: Well awesome doesn't come cheep! Even if it's free.

Y'know... I can kinda ship this.

10722735

Now that Quibble Pants in married, Dash needs a substitute nerd.

(Of course, my next project is Quibble Pants x Clear Sky x Dash threesome...)

Huh, at 15 Gs that would be a concern...

Would be neat to make this into a series. Sunburst and other females that not have been paired with him before. Like him and gilda. Or him and tempest. Or him and zecora. Or the rest of the main 6 that is not twlight.

That last line... :rainbowlaugh:

10723285
Since you got the Dash x nerds down good, maybe in future we get Dash x dorks......Shining armor and Soarin they 2 biggest lovable dorks there is!

I didn't expect the humor in this, but greatly enjoyed it. Bravo!

The concept of getting hotboxed with the funk is freaking hilarious. I like that you captured RD's personality, even paired with the rather bland & non-descript Sunburst, who is effectively a blank canvas.

Good glue.

Great tactile imagery and interaction. Well-paced porn is one thing. Well-paced porn that feels true to the characters should be cherished.

10763801

Thank you! I actually wrote this with the lights out as a challenge to myself, to see if I could deliver something with no visual cues. I'm pleased you enjoyed it.

"You're just jealous you lost the coin toss and had to sleep alone. Sunburst here's a good lay."

When I initially read this story, I thought this was very good character voice for Dash, re-framing something initially seen as a loss into her not losing. And given how things went with Sunburst it's hard to call it anything but a win, but...

What if Dash wasn't re-framing anything? What if AJ deliberately got two beds for three ponies because she and Rainbow were genuinely both DTF Sunburst? Or each other, if the coins had gone differently?

MOW

10811786

What if Dash wasn't re-framing anything? What if AJ deliberately got two beds for three ponies because she and Rainbow were genuinely both DTF Sunburst?

That would mean AJ lied. You know how that goes.

re-framing something initially seen as a loss into her not losing.

Did she, though? She just announced she'd be bunking with Sunburst, and AJ didn't even look at the remaining coin.

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