• Member Since 30th Jun, 2019
  • offline last seen 28 minutes ago


Because "fantasy erotica" sounds better than "cartoon horse porn."

Comments ( 61 )

This was so much fun! It's nice to see nerd Twilight having fun for once.

Thanks! She deserves her fun, too, not just the naughty ponies.


That was fantastic! I found it more hilarious than I did sexy, but I loved it!


I suspect most first times are funny rather than sexy when looked back upon later.

Twilight is clearly a natural at activating Almonds.


Can attest that old book smell is a huge turnon. It's more than just lignin.

And harvesting almonds....

Twilight knows what you're talkin' about!

Genre savvy Celestia is the best part of this fic :rainbowlaugh:

This was a good story.

Thanks! It was fun to write.

"Nurse Sternheart had to remove a glass soda pop bottle from my... nethers... yesterday."

Heh, better keep Twilight away from alcohol or she might put something worse there. Saw that happen once in the ER.

Not bad at all.

...Kinda wanna see the Flue/Celestia thing now.

~Skeeter The Lurker


I'm contemplating a Twilight/Moon Dancer/Almonds threesome next....

Haven't decided.


Why not both?

~Skeeter The Lurker


Love it! Great job :twilightsmile:

Great job! Didn't know I needed this until I read it.

Thanks, I appreciate it!

Hey, thanks! You know the old saying: "Write what you would want to read," and I like this sort of story myself...


Moondancer really deserves loving. Even more than Pre-Princess Twilight and Human SciTwi, she reminds me of myself.

That was a wonderfully written Twilight. Definitely looking forward to seeing more from you.

Aw. I was hoping for steamy, spontaneous, unprotected first time sex :(

Also, while it makes "sense" That sneaky forced birth control really seems fucked up. It reminds me of half life 2 and combine suppressing human reproduction alltogether

"Birth control in the water supply" is actually my Hogwarts School headcanon. I just ponified it, here.

(It's probably in the permission slips the parents sign in the admissions packages, anyway.)

The story gets you a like

the last line gets you a fav

He now smelled like old library. Little bits of old paper clung to him. That had to help, right?

Wow. You're pretty desperate.

Stupid evolutionary imperatives. She knew about sex. All about it. Got the lecture from her mom. Read a dozen books. Heck, more like a dozen dozen. In years past, Twilight had cast scrying spells and seen her parents make love, and watched her brother and the foalsitter, Cadance, together. She learned a lot that way. Specifically, she learned she didn't want to have sex. It seemed... messy. Icky. Squelchy. Time consuming, time away from her studies.

Oh wow, Twilight, don't you know of social etique—

Oh wait, this is young Twilight I'm talking about.

He looked at the book and read, "'The library is the temple of learning, and learning has liberated more ponies than all the wars in history.'"

Ok, this strategy actually has a great chance of working

Brain here, messages received and understood.


Heck, he just wanted to get his willy wet. Even one of the weird ones like Moon Dancer or Twilight Sparkle could handle that . He wasn't picky.

Heh, you're young, so I can understand, but I advise that you think of mares not as some kind of trophies or goals, but as, well, living ponies.

Though really, the only reason I'm saying this is I'm indignant on Twilight's behalf since you seem to be thinking of her like a consolation prize. :ajbemused:

She's a lovely and great mare in her own right, you know? :raritystarry:

Says the guy reading this clopfic.

Shut up, me, I'm trying to be wise-esque, here.

Upon hearing her name wafting across the stacks, Celestia slipped off her formal metal shoes and began sneaking across the carpeted floor of the library. She let her sensitive alicorn nose guide her.

Oh no.

He tasted like old books. She spurted onto his face again, and he dug in even deeper with his tongue.

Ok, now I have to commend you for your unorthodox use of old books.

A small sleet storm--good, old-fashioned, freezing-cold pegasus magic--usually ended a session of public lovemaking most effectively.

You don't wanna do this, Princess.

Thank goodness for small favors, hmmm? Twilight truly was an excellent student.

I take back what I said. You be the comedic narrator, Princess. :pinkiehappy:

Looking at the floor, Twilight mumbled, "Nurse Sternheart had to remove a glass soda pop bottle from my... nethers... yesterday."

.... Ok.

"Eat my fillybits!"

"Oh! Oh! Heck, yes!"

Twilight's words and Almond's enthusiastic response makes their conversations hot.

Glad to help! Hope you enjoyed it overall.

This was hilarious. Well done.

That was funny! I love the difference between unicorn orgasms and other ponies, I was giggling. Glad almond pone got kinda fucked up with his ear and nuts, he was a lil douchy

Many thanks! I appreciate it.

Glad you enjoyed! He definitely was not the chillest pony ever, was he?

Not to be one of 'those' readers, but I must point out that you've stumbled on what could be a rather humorous series of stories focusing on the variety of the Mane 6's first encounters. I mean, now that you've established that heat has different effects on different types of ponies.

Oh yeah. I'm thinking about that! I also have quite a few other ideas first in the queue, though.

Agreed she is a great mare in her own right and it bugs me to see this colt thinking of her as some kind of prize or object, worse that he isn't even really into her but sees her as better than nothing.
That being said, I do sort of understand how he feels, despite all the teasing I have gotten from my family over the years I am still very much a human being with all the quirks and foibles therein.



Agreed! I left their ages deliberately ambiguous (didn't want this fic added to the extra-naughty groups), but Almonds's thought processes were intended to display immaturity. He'll grow out of it, we can all hope.

She sucked her own pheromones and pussy sploosh off his cheeks and her biggest, wettest, most brain-bending orgasm of all hit, her vision graying out and swirling with stars, a splash! sound echoing across the library as she soaked both their hips and tails and the floor below them, her channel tightening around him so hard that he gasped and shuddered and his eyes rolled up and he made a "sssssrrrnnnkkk" noise and then--oh! Oh!--magma, his massive wet magmatic fire suddenly inside her and squelching out of her as she kept pounding her hips up and down and up and down and their mixed juices making splort splort splort noises as she pistoned and she looked over her withers again at her own bottom and tail, and his thick white spew was going everywhere, good gracious that was a huge tremendous ejaculation, getting white spunk across her bottom and his balls and into both their tails and slicking her butthole and that actually felt kinda good, in a naughty way, getting her butthole coated with juicy spunk and generally making a wet sticky mess and " Oh sweet Celestia here I go again!" her entire body clenched as one last massive wave rushed across her, and this time a few sparks shot from her horn and it wasn't as gushy down below but it felt so good!

Um... would you... care to finish that sentence a little sooner? Paragraph-length sentences tend to be really hard to read, which in turn is really distracting.

Other than that, good job. This story was extremely sexy.


Azure Almonds, the lone unicorn offspring a large earth pony family, sat at a study desk in the dorm, trying to read his History of Magic book.

Haha, blue nuts/ blue balls.

OMC, I can't imagine this ploy not working. But if it doesn't work with Twi maybe he could PM me? heh

Enjoyed this very much - very hot.

Poor Almonds, got all bloody and brused his fist time. Usually you have to pay extra for that.

Hahahahaaaaaa. Twilight gives it out for free.

Anus to brain! We're starting to have second thoughts here!

Years later, Thunderlane made it worth the wait.

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