Bloodhound isn't exactly the most imposing pony. She's scrawny, asthmatic, frail, and socially awkward. The only things she really has going for her are a semi-big brain and a nose like her namesake.
When the tragic death of a close family member happens directly in front of her, Bloodhound stumbles onto a shocking fact: It might have been murder.
But that kind of thing just doesn't happen in Equestria.
With only her personal trainer and an eccentric bureaucrat actually believing her theory, Bloodhound struggles to prove that a cunning killer is on the loose.
Chapters (10)
You really have a talent for OC-centric stories. Just from the first scene, I already had a pretty good grasp of what Bloodhound is like, and the rest of the chapter only made me like her more. I think it's also that I get a bit of a high-functioning autistic vibe from her, which I can relate to, especially when it comes to her difficulties finding her first real job. She is adorable, but adorable in a way that makes me want to see her come out of her shell and make more friends. Also to solve the horrific murder of her stepmom. That's important too.
Very curious to see where this goes once the investigation goes into full swing.
A whole plethora of new characters in this one, who I can assume are all going to be mainstays. We've got my OC, Bucky, who you wrote very well as a friendly and supportive life coach, yet also being tough on her when she needs it and having a protective streak too. Merri is honestly not what I expected, but her enthusiasm for the job is endearing and Bloodhound could always use more ponies who appreciate her talents. It makes a good contrast to Starfish, who is infuriating in how dismissive she can be, yet not wholly without reason and willing to bend a little, albeit mostly to save her own skin. They should make for a nice dysfunctional team as they investigate this "actual" murder, which I suspect is very much connected to the original one.
This is great, I’m enjoying it a lot. I’m rooting for Bloodhound.
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Thank you!
Aaaaaw that was sweet. I’ll admit to feeling eh about Fireball at first but now I’m excited.
Well this is a promising start!
Sprout's sudden turn after coughing was a real jolt to the senses. Totally caught me off guard!
I can't decide if this is hilarious or downright adorable. Somepony's got an obsession!
*Letter of. You also have a few mentions of 'arm' instead of 'foreleg' in places. As for who the killer is... why, it has to be Aphrodite! She already tried to kill Bloodhound with a deadly hug! She's a maniac!
You've managed to hit upon a certain aspect of storytelling that I really love. When the Guard didn't take Bloodhound's murder theory seriously and when Starfish seemed eager to pin the blame on Spiderweb without digging a little more, I got somewhat annoyed, feeling that they were acting improperly, their willful ignorance and bullishness simply being a means to an end for Bloodhound to swoop in and be the hero. But then Starfish spoke about not wanting to worry the surrounding populace, how a complicated case with potential killers lurking around could send ponies into a panic, and all of a sudden their actions made a lot more sense. As twisted a representation of morality it may be, they're not just being incompetent. They're trying to keep the peace for what they see as the greater good, even if that means an innocent being accused and a culprit getting away. But it does beg the question, how many cases in history have been carried out improperly due to this code of conduct? Quite a frightening thought.
Aside from that, I've been really enjoying how this story has developed. Bloodhound's impeccable sense of smell is certainly interesting and has further potential. Merri is just such a fun character too. I love how excitable she gets.
I still have one more chapter left to read so I'll give you my thoughts once I've finished. Keep up the good work!
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Thanks so much! Your feedback really does mean a lot to me.
I try to make the Guard flawed, but understandable. Had to ask myself the question, "What would a police force of ordinary people in an extraordinary world actually be like?" The majority of threats to Equestria are way over their heads, and are solved by more powerful people like Celestia. Those that aren't are typically a bit too easy. Their incompetence comes from both undue overconfidence that, as the peacekeeping force, they must be correct in what they decide to do, and just inexperience with bad guys that aren't easy to find. There are so many low-hanging-fruit criminals that they do catch, that they struggle when a genuinely cunning criminal comes along. That actively terrifies them to the point that they have trouble accepting it. Merrilight's plan with the Watch, will be explained later, is her intended solution to this problem.
Sorry for the text wall. I almost never get to discuss my ideas, so I might have gotten a little too excited. ^^,
I was worried something ominous was going to happen when Fireball had to delay her meeting with Bloodhound, only for it to end up being super wholesome.
The mystery is well and truly afoot!
There are several possibilities, though it's unclear if some of those are red herrings or could uncover another mystery behind them. Exciting!
I have to say, I'm very impressed with the way you've developed your characters. OC-centric stories always need to go that extra mile to make sure each character's traits are distinct, and you've managed that with a good number of characters in quite a short space of time.
I've really enjoyed my time so far and feel invested in the story. It's honestly a real shame that you don't have more readers (I guess OC-centric mystery fics just aren't very popular, unfortunately) as this clearly has plenty of passion and thought put into it.
Here's to hoping you can continue what you've started.
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Thank you!
I tend to specialize in OC-focused stories, because I struggle a little bit with writing canon characters.
I have chapter 5 fully written, and chapter 6 mostly written. 5 will go up on the last day of December, then 6 on the last day of January, and so on.
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I'll have to try and set up a consistent upload schedule of my own... Not sure how that's gonna go, though.
That's great to hear you have a schedule in place! I now have something to look forward to at the end of each month besides my mortgage payments.
See you when chapter 5 hits.
Hmmm... So there are names only written with invisible ink? Why separate those from the others? Now's not the time for baseless accusations. Motives have to be involved. But still, with the list of suspects so thin... Argh, I just know the reveal is going to be earth-shattering. Without any real basis of deduction, my gut feeling is:
Aphrodite is responsible. But then she also helped Bloodhound join the Watch, which seems like it goes against the idea. Though perhaps that was taken into account?
Regardless, I can't wait to see where this goes!
Oh my God, there's been another MURDER!
Always keeping with the high quality of writing and now things are really heating up. Can't wait until the next chapter!
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Technically, two more murders.
Thank you. I'm really glad you enjoyed. ^^
Bloodhound dating Merrilight? You can't put two adorably awkward characters together like that and call them a couple! It's too much for me old heart!
On a similar note, I love how insect names inexplicably become curse words in Bloodhound's mind. "Oh, Mosquitoes!" 
Looks like Shining Armor has no choice but to work with the watch from now on, now that Princess Smile 'n' Shout has doled out her commands. But as for the mystery... A waitress and some nobles corroborate the same story, of someone using red magic? Sounds like orc mischief to me! But if they were focused on something at their table, maybe there's actually someone else involved?
Whatever the case, I'll be looking forward to the next one!
Oh wow, oh wow! I hadn't expected Houndsy to be so near to being killed off like that! I was genuinely frightened for a minute there!
Using a reflective surface to kill their victims? That complicates things... I feel like I should re-read previous chapters to try and put the whole scenario together. Still feeling suspicious of Aphrodite, even if I don't have proof!
Great chapter as always. Glad to have your back!
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Feel free. You may find unexpected things.
Really happy you liked it! I worked extremely hard on getting this right. ^^
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Information?
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Deleted a sus comment for possible spam.
Why does Bloodhound look like Pinkie Pie, just with a green coat?
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She doesn't? The only thing they have in common is a fluffy mane, and they even have it in different styles. Bloodhound's also unusually scrawny, with freckles and glasses.
cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/901510871954636880/1052425858587041833/jackofminds_full_2_by_daydreamingdragon123_ddr1esu-pre.png
Hang on, wait wait wait wait wait wait! That... She can't possibly have planned the whole thing... can she? I'm definitely missing something here. I need to look back and try to figure things out.
Anyway, I'm so glad to see this story has returned!
Another great chapter as always.
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Lemme know what you find! I took the extra month making sure everything fit and trying to find continuity errors. So I hope I didn't miss any, lol.
Holy moly!
Well that didn't end the way I thought it would. I get the feeling Bloodhound has made a mistake though... As to the questions, here are my initial thoughts:
As far as poisoning the wine goes, it had to have been done after Coin Flip took it from the cellar. She spilled some on Bloodhound, who would've sniffed out something was wrong immediately. If that's the case, Sprout couldn't have been poisoned from drinking it. And if it was the fumes, Bloodhound would've been killed too. And no venom was found in Sprout's system? Was the wine really what was used to kill Sprout?
This initially makes me want to not suspect Coin Flip, as she wouldn't have known at the time what Houndsy's power of smell could do, so spilling it couldn't be chalked up to her trying to pin the blame on someone else. However, it was her who apparently convinced Fireball to give up the booze, maybe hinting that Bloodhound could be the one to enjoy the wine instead? Was the wine bottle poisoned after the fact to act as a red herring to cast the blame on Fireball?
My guess is the bathroom was cleaned and bleached specifically to prevent Bloodhound from smelling something that could've given her a clue. Or perhaps it was the markings of a rune, which could have been used to allow a non-unicorn to perform magic?
Fireball's red magic signature lines up with the reports from the restaurant, but that doesn't necessarily mean Fireball was the culprit. If she was planning something for the fake crime, was she in the middle of performing something for it? I feel like I don't want Fireball to be the killer...
The names written in invisible ink... I think there's something else going on other than just matchmaking. Coin Trick and Penny Pincher were both on the list, both related to Coin Flip. One is confirmed dead and the other assumed to be dead. If this a list of ponies someone wanted to get rid of, for various reasons? Or are they all connected for some other conspiracy? Brass Badge was on the list and had a metallic smell, possibly from the safe.
Spiderweb didn't want to hear a word of it from Bloodhound despite being friendly with her the entire time. Her name was on the list. She'd been shown to meet up with Fireball. There were no pictures of her alongside Matchstick in the house, yet they were married. Was their marriage little more than a... business venture? She's tied to this whole thing, somehow.
There's a lot I'm still not sure about. Lots of possibilities, but I'm looking forward to seeing what comes next!
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I absolutely love your comments. XD
Maybe. Or maybe Bloodhound was simply too startled and emotional to notice any smells. Or maybe something was used to cover any odd smells. Could be neither. Could be both.
Evidence suggesting Fireball's guilt or innocence is present, but very subtle.
I will say this. Not everything the main characters think is evidence actually is, and not everything that they overlook is as innocent as it seems.