My entry for the Whodunnit? Youdunnit! contest.
Inspired by Fluttershy's animal sanctuary, Discord helps start a sanctuary to house Equestria's more monstrous denizens. But when Fluttershy stumbles upon a murdered security guard on the grounds, the monster hunters of Equestria are eager to blame the Lord of Chaos. With no experience whatsoever, Fluttershy sets out to prove her friend's innocence.
Also, it's a game! Clues will be presented clearly, so grab a notepad and play along!
Special thanks to my ever-vital coauthor Berserker88.
Chapters (1)
Why is this only one chapter long?
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Because splitting it up would have been a formatting nightmare, and I'm already exhausted.
Also, I wasn't sure if the site would go wonky with word counts. I'm really close to the limit, and I didn't want to accidentally go over. Might try to split it up down the line if I ever remaster it.
But I hope you enjoy it regardless!
This was a good time! I thoroughly enjoyed Discord's antics; he was very in character, and while I'm not personally a fan of reference humor, you made it work. Kudos!
Now I did say no crossovers, and I do see that crossover tag... but I'll allow it on the basis that the main point of crossover was just an aside at the end, and that it had no major bearing on the story beyond that. Do be more careful reading contest guidelines in the future, though.
The mystery presented here was very classic, but also a bit simple. I wish there could have been a few more twists to the logic, something a little uniquely clever. This is not to say the mystery was bad by any means, just that it was a bit straightforward, which isn't even really a bad thing, just an observation.
My biggest issue with this story is unfortunately the video-game-y-ness of it. I'm not a purist, and I appreciate the experimentation! But I did find the framing of the debates very distracting, and didn't feel that that means of presentation of ideas added much to the story. I'm not saying the debates themselves were bad, just the game-y way they were presented. It left me skimming over the clue lists every time, and that's immersion-breaking. You asked for pros and cons; this is my big con. I wouldn't neccessarily get rid of all the game-y-ness for a sequel, but do some thinking into less obtrusive ways it can be presented.
But yeah: loved the concept, loved Discord, quite enjoyed this story. Good work, and sorry it took me so long to get here.
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Thank you for your forthrightness!
For the crossover thing, I am very sorry. I seem to have either missed or forgotten that rule. Either is possible, in the excitement of having the ideas.
As for the gamification of the story, I honestly just thought it was a fun and unique way to do a fairplay mystery. Literally have the audience play along. I'm a huge fan of mystery games, so decided it was an acceptable risk.
The straightforward mystery is a fair hit. Part of the reason is because of word count. I had a lot I wanted to put in, but just couldn't fit. The other part was that I actually had to restart around midway through the contest period. My previous idea was going to be much, much different. But I realized it was likely going to be too ambitious for me to accomplish. So I had to scrap it, come up with an entirely new idea, and start over.
I think if this contest is run again, I might stick to something a little simpler. Focus on quality over quantity, and frame the game systems differently. They were intended to be Discord's doing in this, but I think that was a tad unclear.