DoorDashie

by Mica

How to sign up

Hospitals, government officials, and banks have relied on Rainbow Dash’s super speed for years to deliver transplant organs, sensitive documents, and cash.

Now you can get DoorDashie Ten Seconds Flat* delivery to your own front door!

Feel the exhilaration of Ten Seconds Flat* delivery! Sending a care package to your sick friend? Ten Seconds Flat! Ordering a new handbag online? Ten Seconds Flat! Need to order food for a 15-minute power lunch? Ten Seconds Flat!

Personal memberships start at $70/month. However, this week only, use the offer code “FIMFICTION10” to get your first 2 months FREE!

Basic membership--$69.99/mo

$69.99/month, plus $20 per pound delivered.

INCLUDES:

Rainbow Dash’s signature Ten Seconds Flat* Delivery.

Up to 10lbs per shipment**, up to 3 shipments per week.

Premium membership--$119.99/mo

$119.99/month, plus $20 per pound delivered.

INCLUDES everything from the Basic membership, PLUS:

Up to 20lbs per shipment**, up to 5 shipments per week.

Up to $3000 in package insurance coverage***

For commercial memberships, please call 1-800-D-DASHIE to inquire.

In this economy, we all know that time is money. So what are you waiting for? Click here to sign up today!

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*Ten seconds flat delivery is not guaranteed. Membership subject to availability. Dashie Delivery is only available in the Canterlot region for eligible items.

**Limit 20lbs per shipment, 15lbs for temperature-controlled shipments. Delivery times may be slower for heavier shipments. Priority is given to hospital shipments and other sensitive items. Delivery may take 60 minutes or slower during times of high volumes. For full terms of service, visit doordashie.com/terms.

***DoorDashie is an extremely high-speed delivery and assumes no responsibility for damages that may occur during transport. Package insurance is optional, and is provided by a third-party FlimFlam Anti-Fraud Services, Inc. Full details on coverage can be viewed at flimflamfraud.com/insurance.

Author's Note:

Like this story if you signed up.

Comments

[Jphyper]

Doesn't really seem to fit the comedy tag, but that's the only problem. Now I wish I had set a timer when I started reading so that I could make a clever comment.

[Mica]

10348824
"If you can read this whole story aloud in ten seconds flat I will bestow you with the Rap God award."
(Is that sufficient to count as comedy?)

Also, what do you call the refrigerated backpack that Rainbow Dash uses to deliver food?
A twenty percent cooler.
How's that for comedy?

[The Cloptimist]

Came in expecting excellent silliness, got wonderful appropriately breakneck-paced SoL story, followed by excellent silliness. Two thumbs way up!

[Jphyper]

10348839
It's better than the show's attempts to milk the meme, that's for sure.

[SwordTune]

Okay, the title, the idea, it's all just amazing.

[The_K_Man]

This was a quick, comfy read.

[Chicago Ted]

Came for the title, stayed for a story that's fastpaced and comical in equal measure. Top marks!

[Pins-N-Needles]

im honestly really surprised this is in the comedy tag as well, besides the amazon prime joke. this entire thing reads as much more of a sadfic to me, with dash stuck (the one thing she'd never want to be) going through the motions, doing things she hates and skipping out on lunch just to meet the standards set for her. its... depressing, honestly, and i couldn't really find any comedy in it

[Fillyfoolish]

10350325
I hadn't seen this sad but... now I suppose I do. Hm. My workaholism is showing.