Page generated in 0.256 seconds
Total duration
762 users online
850,961 hits today, 2,139,894 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
How long until the companion story where we find out what Night Light and Twilight were doing?
I so want to see a them explain a pregnant Velvet lol!
10341522
Humans can also get drunk from ethanol, and vomit - both things that, last I researched, terrestrial equines are incapable of.
Then again, certain flower types (like daffodils, I think) are actually toxic to equines, but are perfectly safe for them here, so...eh.
10341342
That would be fun to write with the knowledge that his wife is getting railed the whole time lol
We could use a follow up, where hes visits here while Night light is out with the boys.
Or something actually coming from the weekend they spend together.
I really liked the idea here, but I wasn't a fan of the execution. The sex scenes were just so short that it's not really possible to get anything out of them. Everything else was very well-written, and your grammar and syntax were spot on, but I would work on lengthening those scenes a bit :)
I love stories like this they can be funny and thrilling
My my what a deviously little lewd story ya made here! Gotta say, both parts are absolutely excellent and the way things progressed was rather quick, but in the comfortable way that makes it rather enjoyable all thr way through! Truly one heck of a masterpiece! Hope ya didn't mind, but I made a smol lil' reading on this fic!
Audio Linkies!: https://youtu.be/m_MBTS2P1ug
https://youtu.be/4cJz8Pbzpmk
(I don't mean to offend anyone with this comment in any way!)
Night Light and Twilight were definitely fucking
I can see a sequel coming
10343608
Get out of my head
10343006
I could expand on the sexy scenes and edit them in. Relatively new here, not sure if that would be frowned upon?
I, uh... I think it's abundantly clear why her husband is disinterested. Can't imagine picking the daughter over the mother but to each their own, I guess.
... literally, if my suspicion is correct.
Nice work.
Good effort for a first attempt, but lampshading the dubious consent that takes place in the first chapter doesn't excuse your character being ultimately unlikeable in my opinion. The pacing was too fast, as others have previously mentioned, and the way the main character initiated the mature scenes leaves a sour taste in my mouth.
this fic wasnt for me this just feels wrong
10345296
I understand why you feel that way, it's a heavily nuanced situation. I did my best to illustrate through the rest of the story that Velvet wasn't necessarily against sleeping with Anon, she was just very reluctant to cheat on her husband. I'm expanding on the story based on notes I've received, maybe give it another skim after I update and see if you like it more?
10345759
If you remind me, sure, I just find it difficult to sell the idea of infidelity as appealing in a lot of circumstances.
And I'm sitting here, and for some reason I'm having this stubborn thought that he found himself a younger model...
really hope this gets a sequel
Honestly i cant blame her for doing this, her husband does come off as uninterested in her.
Not saying what she did was moral, but honestly i could come off as bias given my mother practically gave up having a relationship because my brother and I kept her occupied due to our dad being a deadbeat and think if this happens, maybe the couple should look into being more open in their relationship if only to keel things interesting and fair.
Swinging is a thing and most commonly between older couples.
In any case, i thought that the story was pretty good, especially for a first story.
The only grivance would be how quick pase it was for the sex scenes. perhaps if you like, you could refrence or take note of other human/pony clop fics like
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/408259/scratch-and-sniff
or
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/412925/plundering-cadences-cavern
Have great pacing and perhaps even a good thing to refrence (not plagiarize of course) for how they draw out the hot and steamy parts.
I hope this helps for the future
It was good and interesting...and I won't repeat what the rest had said since I believe the same. You can definetly re-write or update the story when you want that's not a problem besides I do believe you have a lot of talent for fics...can't wait for more
Darn.. so much for keeping unhealthy relationships with Dusk :p
I loved the fanfic keep up the good work