• Member Since 22nd Oct, 2012
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The most profound self-loathing on FIMFiction found only here. Profile picture done by Soulless_76 on furaffinity.

Comments ( 78 )

I never get tired of seeing Queen Umbra stories.

Now I have to wait for more .....

neat, a continuation

Yes. Good. Good. It's all coming together

Glad to see a sequel! I really enjoyed the first one, can't wait to see how you develop this.:twilightsmile:

“Never forget, Sister. You and I both could very easily be Umbrial Daze. And perhaps she would not look so kindly on our actions, either.” The enormous alicorn pushed past her sister rudely, butting their chests together and warming the room with a radiating and passionate rage.

“This discussion is over.” She growled, a fiery energy building in her horn that made nearby torches thrash and dance furiously with unbearable heat.

“Goodnight, Luna.” An enormous door slammed behind the Day Princess to assure she wouldn’t be followed, leaving the petite alicorn alone in her thoughts.

“Ugh… Luna. You and your legendary tact strike again.” She mumbled to herself, exhaustedly making for her chambers.

And yet, she makes a damn good point. Umbra may be seen as a conniving, bitter monster of a pony, but her experiences with Derpy and the Herd have improved her disposition by leaps and bounds. Honestly, they probably have done more than what Twilight could have accomplished. The question remains: Who are you to deny Life? For all we know, she would be a fantastic mother that could create a paragon of pony kind.

What is holding Celestia back is her fear of what future evil could be, when she should make the judgment when the time comes for such things.

I'm so relieved I managed to get that idea across clearly you have no idea. I could hug you.

Not going to lie, the relationship between Umbra and Dinky was heartwarming and surprisingly moving. Looking forward to more of this.

Ngl, worried about Zecora hurting dinky through some misguided attempt at something.

The interactions beta parties were wonderfully done, and I love how it happened hints at something more going on. Were Zecora's words directed at Dinky or Umbra?

Awww, Umbra and Dinky are so cute together!

Without being specific, Zecora is mostly speaking to Umbra in order to aggravate the hell out of her.

Ha this was great!

Well, this will only end poorly. Sunbutt will probably try to complicate this situation too.

Umbra vs. Zecora...place your bets!

Intriguing most intriguing Indeed. One I see this going one way an that way involves Tia complicating it even more second do hope to see more soon!

*<>* oh boy ..i wonder how umbra is gonna take this ,
Wot do you mean she is flirting with you in your dreams? H-How Dare../+ insert raging mare scream

Uh oh..... this does not bode well

That's like, three fights right there.

It slipped my mind this story updated not once, but twice. As it started I was intrigued with the idea she's starting to feel some conflict with the demons of her past affecting her family, giving before she would have cared less, and had nothing to lose. Now she does.

Learning more about her past through Rose was fun, and could we go on a limb and suggest Rose might be a friend of sorts to the old Queen? Oh, and that painting she gave to Rose... another wonderful display on why the princesses don't like her. Makes one wonder if it was created through guess or past experiences?

Finally, more is revealed about Zecora and wow. No wonder she hates Umbra, but the word 'halfbreed' got thrown again, and still no answers as to why it effects her so much. I have ideas, but I want to see what implications it has in Equestria. Good job sir. Can't wait to see what happens next.

In a way Luna is rediscovering something she once lost, and while feel this was a spur of the moment for her, I feel she did it on purpose to see what he would do. By waking if up in that final moment, it might tell her more about anon than their whole talk. Who would wake up from that unless they were shocked and worried about something? Luna might be paying them a visit in the near future.

ya te story continues, I cannot wait to see more !

Nice lil love scene. :moustache:

in a way I just realized something that , anon , this anon, is going to found out what Celestia and luna been doing smd controlling some part of his life to have kids , and when that happens it's going be a huge Huge bomb shell

That was one hell of a rollercoaster of a chapter. Bravo.

Years of trauma has left her very scarred to a point this was bound to happen, and now they're basically back to zero. Kudos on his monster of a chapter!

This is a pretty great development in the story.

Absolutely phenomenal. Seriously incredible.

https://youtu.be/74mFRMxRrVk not sure if that link will work Cheif Kelly-Ghost in the Shell.
The song popped on my random list while reading and not necessarily the words but the rhythm to it seemed to sync to the whole Anon + Luna dance sequence near the end there. Great writing by the way hope you keep this one going

A very interesting combination. Honestly I can kind of see it, even though its so radically different to the song I wrote it to.

Well damn, now I gotta kno what u wrote it to

I'm liking this development. Personally, I don't see this as just a test. Sure, Luna may've been merely intrigued by Anon in the beginning and wanted to really get to know him but I think she sees within him a kindred spirit and even if they don't end up together, he'll no doubt be the one to open her back up to love.

“Where has my King been?”

OH boy.

Got some serious Dante’s “Inferno” vibes from that hellscape. Excellent craftsmanship on this section.

That was an awesome chapter my friend, just..damn good 👍

’[/i” You kept her close all the way,

You forgot to close the tag.

Thank you, sir. Try as I may my editing skills still leave much to be desired.

Honestly, it feels like Luna is purposefully doing all this to get them to go around her sister. While also trying to make sure that Anon knows exactly what his wife has done in the past. At this point, Luna may have overstepped her boundaries, but I think it was to get this ball rolling. She is tired of the deadlock she has with her sister on the subject of allowing Umbra to have foals. So is taking steps to see them do it regardless.

I feel the difference between her magic is much more...cleaner ? This scene puts a smile on my face to see she's - on path good one something she deserves and needs maybe a foreshadowing, man I hope Celestia doesn't butt in and cause any trouble ;^;

Is this anthro or not?

No character in the story is anthro.

It's great, it looks like Derpy is not as simple as it seems.

I am waiting and hoping that you will write a prequel in which we will see Anon's acquaintance with Derpy and the beginning of their love and family life.

Celestia has no humor… it’s as non-existent as her acting skills…

Just..damn, awesome chapter/bonus. Makes u think how Derpy felt during Anons Lil dream sequence with Luna in the main story. After coming to terms so to speak,to allow Luna to be with him again in such a setting with her watching, cucking herself basically but actually directing what's going on then slamming that door shut forever in Lunas face must have been a hell of a feeling. Derpy can be one cold bitch in this story and I love it ❤
Can't wait till the next chapter ✌

Those were sad times.

Quite a few errors in this absolutely marvelous chapter. Those errors being about a dozen words doubled into one word. An example of this would be this. forebodingforboding

That would be my google doc suggestions. Thanks so much for the alert. I'm fixing it as soon as possible.

Damn..least she took her shot. Always has the dream realm tho

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