Chapter 11
The Dazzlings plus Trixie had turned Wallflower’s garden into their new hangout spot, thus ending the long-standing feud between them and the Rainbooms over which group would gather around the pedestal of the long gone horse statue that also doubled as a portal to Equestria. Wallflower didn’t mind their presence, after all she could hang out with her friends and care for her plants at the same time, it made the place livelier and they helped her with small things here and there from time to time – they even added a large wooden bench, a gift from Applejack, the only Rainboom they were on slightly good terms with after working together during the Friendship Games.
Wallflower Blush and Sonata Dusk were tending to the plants while Trixie Lulamoon, Sunset Shimmer and Adagio Dazzle did their homework together on the bench. Aria Blaze sat on the grass with her back pressed against one of the three rocks circling the clearing, typing away on her phone.
“You know what sucks about history?” Adagio asked while holding the cap of her pen between her teeth. “We were actually there when some of the things we’re studying happened, but our answers have to match what’s in the history books, even though some of the things presented as facts are not exactly how they happened.”
“Really?” Trixie asked, not letting the opportunity to shift the attention away from the homework for two minutes go to waste. “Like what?”
“Alright, I’m out.” Aria said as she got up, picked up the backpack lying by her side, stuffed her phone in one of her pockets, waved at her friends and walked back towards CHS.
“Anyone else finds that weird?” Sonata asked.
“Define ‘that’.” Sunset replied.
“Aria just leaving us to do her own thing.”
“We’re not conjoined twins, Sonata, she can do whatever she wants.” Adagio replied.
“I know! I’m not saying she shouldn’t, it’s just that she never had any interest in going anywhere on her own before, now she just walks away whenever she feels like it and we just see her after she comes back from work. What if…” Sonata looked sadly at the gardening trowel covered in dirt that she was holding. “What if she’s found someone she likes hanging out with more than us?”
“What, like a boyfriend?” Wallflower asked.
“Psh, yeah!” Adagio said with a smirk. “Like that’s ever gonna happen.”
“I don’t know, have you seen some of the weirdoes that hang out at that place she’s working at?” Trixie asked. “She’s not exactly the most charismatic girl in the world, but some guys are into that. Maybe she’s caught someone’s eye?”
“Oh, plenty of people have shown interest in her over the years, that’s not what I’m talking about. It’s Aria who’s not really into people.”
“Then what is she into?”
“Nothing. Aria Blaze is our very own confirmed bachelorette.”
“And you two aren’t?” Sunset asked.
“We had our… escapades. Especially Sonata.”
“What do you mean especially me?” The slightly annoyed blue-haired siren asked with her hands on her hips.
“Oh, don’t play dumb! We all remember what happened in Baghdad.”
“It’s was just that one time. Besides, what about you and that justice minister from Paris?”
“That was different, I owed those gypsies a favor.”
“Can anybody fill me in on what they’re talking about?” Wallflower asked the other two.
“Honestly, we’re just as in the dark as you are.” Sunset replied with a shrug before closing her book and looking at her phone. “Shoot, look at the time. Excuse me, gotta go!”
“Go? But the Sweet Shoppe is closed today. You still have to babysit the twins?” Trixie asked.
“No, I have to meet with Princess Twilight. The journal I use to communicate with her ran out of pages, so she made a new one and I’m going over there to pick it up.”
“Oh, so you’re going to Equestria? That sounds exciting!”
“Not really, it’s just a visit to my hometown.”
“Well, it would be exciting for someone who’s never been to a different world before.”
Sunset squinted. “Oh, yeah? And who would that someone be?”
“Wallflower, of course!” Trixie grabbed the confused gardener by both shoulders and placed her between the two of them. “She’s new to our little circle, we need to hang out with her more often to make her truly feel like one of us. What do you say, Wall?”
“I’ve never left Canterlot City before in my life.” Wallflower said. “I get to go on a trip for the first time, and the destination is a different dimension? I don’t want to sound too eager, but sign me up!”
Sunset rubbed her chin in thought. “If you want to go, then I guess it’s fine. I’m sure Princess Twilight won’t mind.”
Trixie wrapped an arm around Sunset’s shoulders. “Annnnnd, since you’re already taking Wallflower with you, I don’t suppose there’s room for one more?”
She rolled her eyes. “Yes, Trixie, you can come with us.”
Trixie pumped her fist in the air before grabbing Sunset’s and Wallflower’s hands and dragging them along. “Then there’s no time to lose!”
Sonata and Adagio, who had stopped arguing a while back, watched as their three friends walked away.
“Did we just get ditched?” Sonata asked.
“Looks like it.” Adagio replied as she started gathering everybody’s things. “They even left their backpacks, what if someone steals them?”
“Who would? The six of us are the only people who even know this place exists.”
“Don’t take any chances, Sonata, how many times do I have to tell you this?”
“Remember Baghdad?”
“We were just talking—”
“About that many times.” Adagio stared at Sonata, expressionless. “So, wanna follow Aria and see what she’s up to?”
“How does this thing work?” Wallflower asked as she placed her hand on the surface of the portal. “Do we need a key, a secret phrase…?”
“No, you just go through it!”
She raised an eyebrow. “Isn’t that a little… exposed? Anyone who just wants some shade could accidentally fall through.”
“Yes, but a closed portal means no magic, and no magic means we starve to death, so we have to risk it. Worst case scenario, they have the Memory Stone on standby.”
“If you say so. But are you sure this is safe?”
“Of course! I crossed that portal many times before and only threw up once, you’ll be fine.”
Taking a deep breath, Wallflower Blush pushed her hand into the platform, her entire arm sinking into the portal. The rest of her body soon followed until she disappeared completely.
“Your turn, Trixie!”
“Watch in awe as the Grreat and Powerful Trrixie makes herself disappWHOA!”
Sunset Shimmer pushed her into the portal before she had the chance to finish. The illusionist screamed the whole way as the magical vortex sucked, twisted and reshaped her very being until nothing was left of the old Trixie. She came out on the other side of the portal only a couple of seconds after Wallflower.
The green earth pony mare with dark green mane and tail, freckles and a single potted flower for a cutie mark was the first to stand up – she attempted to stand on her hind legs only to fail miserably, lose her balance and fall on her back. The blue unicorn, learning from the mistake of her companion, stood on all fours.
“Trixie? How did you get in here without me seeing you? And who’s that?” A pink unicorn with purple mane and green highlights asked as she approached the duo. “Did you put another pony in a box for one of your magic tricks and forgot to let her out? Again?”
“AH!” Trixie yelped as she fell on her butt. “A talking horse!”
“Trixie, you are a talking horse.” Wallflower said matter-of-factly as she sat up, looking down at her own forelegs and touching the tip of her muzzle with a hoof. “And so am I, from the looks of things.”
“You are surprisingly chill with all this. Speaking of chill, where are our clothes?”
“I’ve been to the Fall Formal, the Battle of the Bands, the Friendship Games and lived to tell all the tales. At this point I’ve just accepted the weird and unexplained as a part of my day-to-day life. Speaking of which, I think she looks like Aria. Does she look like Aria to you?”
“Will somepony please fill me in on what’s going on?” The other unicorn asked as she waved her hoof in an attempt to get their attention.
Trixie muffled a laugh. “Did she just say somepony? That’s dumb.”
Wallflower finally stood up on all fours with a bit of a wobble. “I don’t know, I think it’s cute.”
The portal started glowing one more time, and out of it came the third and final member of their small group. Trixie and Wallflower hugged each other and screamed.
The siren rolled her eyes. “Girls, it’s me.”
“Oh, right.” Trixie pushed Wallflower away from her. “I don’t know if you know that, but you look much scarier up close.”
“Gee, thanks.” Looking past her two friends, she spotted another unicorn in the room with them. “Hi there! You must be Princess Twilight’s student, right?”
“Yup! The name’s Starlight Glimmer.”
“I’m Sunset Shimmer, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”
“I’m Wallflower Blush.”
“And I’m—”
“The Grreat and Powerful Trrixie!” Starlight Glimmer cheerfully interrupted with a raised hoof before chuckling.
The blue unicorn was a little shocked at first, but she soon flashed a smug smile.
“It would appear that Trixie’s reputation precedes her.” She used a hoof to brush her mane. “Far and wide, even across dimensions, many have heard the amazing feats and accomplishments of the Grreat and Powerful Trrixie!”
“Look what you did.” Wallflower said. “She’s gonna be like that for the rest of the week now.”
“Sorry, sorry. It’s just that there is a Trixie in this world is as well, and we are very good friends.”
“Well, any friend of mine is a friend of… mine, I guess?” Trixie extended her hoof. “Um, Sunset? How do you shake someone’s hand in this world when neither of you have hands to shake?”
“I don’t know what’s this ‘hand’ you speak of, but I’ll assume it’s your world’s equivalent of a hoof. Here, we do it like this!” Starlight connected the bottom of her hoof with Trixie’s and shook it. “Nice to meet you. Again, I suppose.” She then shook Wallflower’s hoof and finally Sunset’s with a little difficulty due to the size difference.
“So where’s Twilight?” The siren asked while looking around at the bookcases in the library they were in.
“Away on business. Apparently the ambassador smoothing things over with the changelings is having problems, so Princess Celestia asked her to make sure he doesn’t start a war.”
“What ambassador?”
“Some royal I never heard of. Prince Trueblood or something like that.”
“Prince… Blueblood?”
“Yes, that’s the one. You know him?”
Sunset visibly shuddered. “We’re… acquaintances. Let’s just say Twilight’s got her work cut out for her. Speaking of which, since she’s not here I’m assuming she left my package with you?”
“Your… package?” Starlight raised an eyebrow.
“Yes, the journal we use to communicate with each other ran out of pages, so she was going to make me a new one and give it to me today.”
“I’m sorry, but Twilight never told me anything about a journal. She was in such a hurry that she just said you were coming through the portal today, I don’t know where it is.”
“Oh well, I guess we’ll have to wait for Princess Twilight to come back, huh? Until then, I guess!” With a bounce on her step, Trixie trotted towards the door.
“And where do you think you’re going?” Sunset asked.
“There is an entire alien world out there waiting to be explored and you expect me to just sit here in a library and wait? I can do that back home, where the library also comes with free Wi-Fi!”
Starlight cocked her head to the side. “Why fine?”
“I agree with Trixie on that one!” The green earth pony mare said, standing side by side with her blue unicorn friend. “As much as I prefer quiet places, this is still an entirely different dimension where we look like ponies! There’s so much to do and so much to see, so what’s wrong with taking to the streets?”
“You’ll never know if you don’t go!” Trixie added with a knowing smirk and a wink.
“Ok, fine, you can go. But I’m coming with!” Sunset turned to face the pink pony. “Is that ok, Starlight?”
“Are you kidding? I’m coming as well, there’s no way in Tartarus I’m missing that! I can’t wait to see how Trixie – my Trixie, that is – is going to react to this!” Pushing the door open with her magic, Starlight exited the library. Wallflower and Sunset Shimmer followed her outside, but Trixie stayed behind for a moment to try and channel magic through her horn like Starlight did, to no avail. She eventually gave up and trotted after them.
“Thanks for the ride, Flash.” Adagio said as she stepped out of the teen’s black car.
“If you tell Aria that I helped you stalk her, I’m denying everything; most people prefer their kneecaps left unbroken, and I happen to identify as ‘most people’.” With that said, Flash Sentry took off.
“Bye, Flash!” Sonata shouted while waving.
“Quiet down!” Adagio said, elbowing the younger siren in the ribs. “You want to give away our position that quickly?”
“Sorry.” She whispered.
While Sonata rubbed her ribs that got hit, they watched as Aria walked into the mall. Making sure there was a reasonable distance between them and her, they followed her in.
“This is the exact opposite direction of her work, so we can cross ‘clocking in early’ off the list.” Adagio thought out loud.
“I think this is the way to the food court.”
“Food court? What for? We just ate.”
Sonata shrugged. Aria made her way to the food court just as Sonata theorized, entered a teahouse and sat at a table by the window.
“Since when does Aria drink tea?” Adagio asked as they sat at a table in the food court from where they could only see the back of Aria’s head – she wouldn’t spot them even by accident from that location.
A waitress approached Aria, but she dismissed her.
“She didn’t order anything and wasn’t kicked out?” Sonata raised an eyebrow. “They always kicked me out of that taco place every time I just wanted to sit there and smell the tacos.”
“She must have said she’s waiting for someone to arrive before ordering anything.”
“Ohh, I’m gonna use that excuse next time.”
“Sonata, this was your idea, now focus!”
“Hey, isn’t that one of the girls from Crystal Prep?”
“I said foc—” Adagio didn’t finish that sentence; the girl from Crystal Prep that Sonata pointed out went in the same teahouse Aria was already in. The CPA girl with twintails and glasses then sat across the siren, and that piqued Adagio’s curiosity. “Well well well, would you look at that.”
The waitress took their orders and returned not long after with two cups of tea. Aria and Sugarcoat talked for a few minutes under the watchful gaze of Adagio and Sonata, who inspected every single muscle twitch in an attempt to infer the purpose of that meeting.
Aria extended her hand on the table and Sugarcoat placed hers on top of it. Sonata gasped.
“She’s holding her hand! I repeat, she. Is. Holding. Her. Hand!”
Aria leaned over the table. Sugarcoat did the same. Adagio placed a hand over her mouth, a blush beginning to form on her cheeks.
“Was that a kiss?!” The euphoric Sonata grabbed the elder siren’s shoulders. “Adagio, was that a kiss?!”
“Looks like our little Aria is all grown up.” Adagio said with a smile.
“When Princess Twilight wrote me letters telling me about Ponyville, I expected things to be a bit more…” Sunset, who was floating above the fountain in the center of town, looked around at the empty streets. “…livelier.”
“Is it some sort of pony holiday?” Wallflower Blush asked.
“Not that I know of.” Starlight Glimmer answered.
“Maybe it’s Sunset’s dragon breath.” Trixie laughed at her own joke, earning herself a slap with Sunset’s tail that sent her flying a few feet forward.
“First of all I’m a siren, not a dragon. Second of all my breath is minty fresh, so shut up.”
“Is it” Wallflower covered her mouth with a hoof “zombies?”
“Uh, not very likely.” Starlight said.
“Not likely… but possible?”
“Hold it right there, evil-doer!” A very familiar voice said before five ponies jumped in front of the group.
“A very smart move, invading while Twilight is out of town.” Rarity said while moving a lock of hair away from her face using her hoof.
“But you ain’t the first big monster who tried to invade Ponyville, and definitely not the first who’ll succeed.” Applejack warned.
“With or without Twilight by our side, we are far from helpless.” Fluttershy spoke up. The bunny riding on her back nodded.
“So try anything funny and we’ll kick your fish butt all the way back to the ocean!” Rainbow Dash threatened, putting her hooves up in a fighting stance.
Pinkie Pie pulled two cupcakes out of her mane. “Hit me with your best shot, bucko!”
“Are those the Rainbooms?” Wallflower whispered to Trixie.
“Sure look like them.” Trixie said, rubbing her chin. “Sound like them too, ugh…”
“Girls, girls, it’s ok!” Starlight stood in front of Sunset Shimmer, waving both hooves in the air to get their attention. “This is Sunset Shimmer, she’s a friend of Twilight’s from across the portal. She’s not invading Ponyville, she just dropped by for a visit.”
The five ponies relaxed, letting out a collective “ohhhhh” of understanding.
“Forgive us for jumping to conclusions, darling.” Rarity stepped forward. “It’s just that, when Twilight told us about you, we imagined someone a bit, um…”
“Smaller?” Fluttershy asked.
“It’s ok, I’m still getting used to my new size myself.” Sunset said as she flew in circles to inspect her own body.
“New size?” Applejack asked.
“I used to be a pony too. Long story!”
Starlight Glimmer pointed her hoof at the other two ponies. “These are Wallflower Blush and Trixie – not our Trixie, their Trixie.”
“There’s two Trixies?” Rainbow Dash asked. “Celestia help us all…”
“Got a problem with that, Rainbow Trash?” Trixie asked as she stepped forward.
“How do you—”
“Now, now!” Applejack said as she placed herself between the two blue ponies with both hooves raised in case she needed to push either of them away. “They’re guests in our… dimension, I guess. We already screwed up first impressions, so let’s try not to start a fight while we’re at it, okay?” She turned to face the unicorn. “Let’s try it again. Howdy there, name’s—”
“Applejack, we know.” Trixie interrupted. “Also Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie and Rarity. We’ve met. Technically.”
“Well, Twilight did mention the creatures on the other side of the portal looked an awful lot like us.” Fluttershy recalled.
“Can you spread the word that they mean no harm?” Starlight requested. “Going on a tour is gonna be awkward if Ponyville looks like a ghost town.”
The five mares spread out, each going in a different direction. In a matter of minutes the town of Ponyville was buzzing with activity once again and, other than the occasional glance of curiosity in Sunset’s direction and a curious foal or two asking questions before being pulled away by their apologetic parents, everything went back to normal. Starlight led them to a small wagon sitting atop a hill just outside the town limits before knocking on the door.
“Trixie, come out here, you have to see this!” She then pushed the Trixie from the human world, making her stand in front of the door she had just knocked on.
The person who opened the door was an exact duplicate of Trixie, except she wore a purple cape and wizard hat with stars on them.
“A… mirror?” She asked, her voice also identical to human Trixie’s. “Thanks for the gift, Starlight, but I don’t think… why isn’t the mirror moving when I move? Is it broken?” Pony Trixie raised her hoof and booped human Trixie’s muzzle, causing her to flinch. “That’s not a mirror, is it?”
“Why am I homeless in this universe?” Human Trixie asked.
Trixie screamed and locked herself in her wagon where she kept on screaming until she ran out of air in her lungs. After taking a deep breath, she resumed the screaming.
“Hello, Aria!” Adagio said as she wrapped an arm around the purple-haired siren’s shoulders, who was waiting by a bus stop. “Fancy meeting you here.”
“Something tells me this wasn’t a chance meeting.” Aria grumbled.
“We just wanted to congratulate you!” Sonata approached Aria from her other side and wrapped her arms around her waist.
“My birthday is still months from now.”
“It’s not that, dummy.”
“Then what is it?”
“Congratulations on finally getting a girlfriend!” Sonata and Adagio said at the same time.
Aria raised an eyebrow. “A what now?”
“Don’t play dumb, we saw everything.” Adagio replied with a smirk and a wink. “For a while we honestly thought you were aromantic, but I guess we were mistaken.”
“I still have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“The girl from Crystal Prep!” Sonata finally spelled out. “We saw you holding hands and kissing in the teahouse!”
“Girl from… wait, were you stalking me?”
“No, Sonata was stalking you.” Adagio corrected. “I was just making sure she didn’t do anything stupid.”
“While stalking you as well.” Sonata added.
Aria pushed both girls away from her. “You two are unbelievable, you know that?”
“We only do it because we love you and want to make sure you won’t get hurt. This is your first relationship, after all.” Adagio explained.
“This isn’t my first relationship because this isn’t even a relationship to begin with!”
“There’s no need to lie to us, Aria, we’re your—” Sonata started, but was interrupted when the purple siren shoved a piece of paper in her face. “Is this a… poem?”
“Song lyrics.” Aria explained. “Sugarcoat wasn’t ‘holding my hand’, she was giving me this so I can give her feedback.”
“What for?” Adagio asked, looking over Sonata’s shoulder.
“Ever heard of the Canterlot Mall Chance-To-Prance Competition?”
“Isn’t it that song and dance competition with a cash prize?” Sonata asked.
Aria nodded. “They want to have their Spring Dance on a yacht, but Principal Cadance needs funds for that.”
“Principal Cadence? What happened to the other one?”
“Loony bin. The Friendship Games took a toll on her mental health.”
Adagio shrugged. “That’s what happens when you play with magic fire, but we’re getting sidetracked. You were talking about the Canterlot Mall competition?”
“The CPA girls are decent dancers but they can’t write songs even if their lives depended on it, so Sugarcoat came to me for help.”
“Bu-But you two leaned over the table for a kiss! We saw it happen!” Sonata pointed an accusatory finger at her.
“Did you actually see our lips touch?”
“Well, no, but… What else could that be?”
“She wanted to tell me something but didn’t want others to overhear it, so we had to get closer so she could whisper it.”
“Well… mistakes were made, I suppose.” Adagio looked away, playing with her hair.
“Yeah, the first mistake was the two of you not respecting my privacy. Don’t think I’ll let that slide. But whatever, since you’re already here, may as well go back home with you. Where did you park the bus?”
“We, uh… we didn’t. We asked Flash to give us a ride; if you looked out the window and saw our bus, you’d find us out immediately.”
Aria groaned and facepalmed. “For Hathor’s sake…”
“What did Sugarcoat want to tell you that no one else could hear it?” Sonata asked.
“That she’s in love with me and wanted to ask me out on a date.”
“FOR REALZIES?!”
“No. Now leave me alone and mind your own business.”
“Oh…”
Sunset Shimmer, Starlight Glimmer, Wallflower Blush, human Trixie, pony Trixie and the pony counterparts of the Rainbooms had all gathered outside Sugarcube Corner with citizens of Ponyville for an outdoors welcome party for the interdimensional visitors thrown by Pinkie Pie.
Sunset Shimmer was chatting with every pony who wanted her attention, answering any and every question they might have. Wallflower was standing by the side of the building, drinking juice from a wooden mug while chatting with a grey-colored earth pony mare in a blue dress with straight purple mane and tail. Pony Trixie, who had gotten over the initial shock of meeting somepony who looked exactly like her, put on a magic show with the help of her human counterpart – pony Trixie had given one of her garments for her other self to wear, but nopony was paying attention when that happened and they had no idea if human Trixie was the one wearing the hat or the one wearing the cape.
Princess Twilight arrived while the celebrations were in full swing, landing just a few meters away from the crowd in the company of a guest.
“Hey, Twilight!” Starlight Glimmer called as she approached her mentor. “Glad you could make it. Who’s this?”
“This is Ocellus, the changeling ambassador.” The princess introduced.
“Hello.” The light blue bug-like quadruped greeted; she was slightly taller than them and her pink mane and tail swayed in the breeze.
“Changeling? For real? She doesn’t look like the changelings I heard of.”
“Blueblood did a stupid thing, then he did another stupid thing, but then he did a very cool thing that was followed by another stupid thing that I had to fix, then all the changelings went through metamorphosis and now they look more or less like her. It’s a long story, I’ll tell you later.” Twilight waved a hoof dismissively.
“Colorful or not, welcome to Ponyville, Ambassador Ocellus.”
Ocellus nodded. “Thank you, but just Ocellus is fine. It’s good to be here.”
“What’s the occasion?” Twilight asked while looking at the ponies partying. “Is that Sunset Shimmer? What is she— Oh no! I forgot to tell you about the enchanted journal I was supposed to give her today! Has she been waiting for long?”
“Honestly, we were having so much fun hanging out that we didn’t even notice the time passing. Come party with us, we can introduce Ocellus to everypony else!”
“Would that be ok, Ocellus?” Twilight asked the changeling, who nodded once more. The three of them trotted towards the party side by side.
Ok, no more juice left in the tank. I tried to do something with Legend of Everfree, but no matter how hard I tried I got stuck halfway. I was going to write a subplot involving Wallflower falling in love with Timber Spruce, so with that in mind make your own conclusions as to how well things would go.
Anyway, here's a drawing I made featuring the entire Dazz Gang:
Thank you for hanging out here, getting to this point and giving my project the time of day(s). It was a fun ride but, unlike other rides, it had to end. You have my somewhat humble and rather pathetic appreciation.
And who knows, maybe one day I'll come back with an adaptation of Legend of Everfree. Only time will tell.
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Better to burn out than fade away.
Trust me.
Whelp, all's well that ends well. That was a fun little romp. Kudos.
It happens. Good run while it lasted.
I like it and I'm sure other ideas for this might pop into your head.
10225282
Agreed.
I’ve read plenty of good stories that had suckish endings because the authors tried to keep going after they burned out. You don’t want to do that. If you can’t go further, then don’t. If you do find some inspiration that helps you keep going, use it to write a sequel to this story. Either way, you wrote a great story and it ended on a very good note. You don’t need to add anything more to make it better.
it's a shame that it has finished, I hope that in the future you continue to enchant with your stories. And I had been excited with a little romance, but well, thanks for publishing the story. Hopefully we'll see you soon. take care and be safe
It's always a shame to see a story getting finished, it always break's my heart.
Excellent work!
The general rule is that you can only omit dialogue tags if it's a back and forth between two people that switches from one to the other with every new quote. So, with that in mind, somehow I don't think this is what you meant to write:
But that is how it's currently punctuated. I'm guessing that a line from Sonata, which was supposed to go between "how many times..." and "Remember Baghdad", got dropped.
Its a good spot to end the story at in my opinion. It was a really good read and im pretty satisfied with how it ended abd everything.
Though you said you're an amateur that doesn't mean you can't write a palatable story. It just means you have a lot of room for growth.
I dont know if you'll write anything that i end reading and liking in the futute, but i wish you good luck on your writing endeavours!
This was a great story, although I’m upset it ended so soon. I just wish the chapters were more drawn out
While I would always enjoy more, I’m more than happy with what’s here. I’m very thankful to author for sharing this with us.
10255049
I'm aware how it works, I'm saying that you shouldn't expect people to KNOW you - if you ERASE their knowledge about them ever meeting you. That is some mental gymnastics, is what I am saying.
"Oh god, that was akward, I want their impression of me to be positive only."
*erases leaving ANY sort of impression, good or bad*
"Why can't you remember me? I only was here for several years, and been a member for about the same time! That's unfair, and you should feel bad."
i am really loving this story! Keep up the great work!
PS: Can I please have the direct link to that image on derpibooru or deviant art (or both) so i can fav it?
Alright.
The Good: I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY LIKE THIS!^_^
The Bad: WHERE'S MY TALKING DOG SPIKE?! I WANT MY TALKING DOG SPIKE! GIVE ME MY TALKING DOG SPIKE!
I totally ship it. Let's have some Sugar Blaze!
Read your stories and enjoyed them greatly. Hope all is well.
Please do more with.
Great romp. Stuck on tracking list in case you manage to adapt more. 9/10 Excellent story.
I loved this
Epic.
Read this, found no sequel and saw this was made 2 years ago.
I humbly demand more of the same, waiter.
I liked the ride that you wrote. Very good from start to finish. If there's more coming that would be so awesome
. Another obligatory rainbow 
That was really great, I loved what you did with Sirens backstory, you know I would say it sounds very canon, I thought I was reading an official book. You have put much more depth into these characters, thank you!
The story is very well written, I've read it all in one go. Every major beat was so good, I also loved that you added some romance into it. The jokes were good too, I loved all the interactions. It was amazing how you smoothly added Trixie to the whole repertoire, I was kinda worried she wouldn't find her place. Also it was nice that somebody wrote a fiction where Starlight meets the human Trixie, albeit it wasn't the focus of the story, but it was still pretty cute. Also, maybe I'm reading too much into it, but Applejack and Trixie had a kind of chemistry going on, maybe. Also also, Trixie's character is so smooth in this story, I loved her quirks, remarks and little comments, really made me smile
Great fic, added to favorites, i hope you make a sequel
Maybe you could have a better idea with Anon-A-Miss, The other Sunset, or Sunset finding the 'villains' of Equestria in the human world... Leaving that aside great work, I liked it, not many give enough background to the dazzlings as they stayed for a long time