- Member Since 14th Oct, 2019
- offline last seen 2 hours ago
AndwhatIseeisme
I write stories mainly featuring small horses having sex with one another, and that is probably all you really need to know about me.
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Even Fluttershy's genitalia gets nervous.
Never thought I'd see The Who's best song referenced by the name of a clopfic.
10182794
Well, in these trying times it's important to provide people with the essentials: ponies having sex and good music reccomendations. Just trying to kill two birds with one stone here.
This is your official review from Dirty Little Secret's Dirty Little Contest!
Remember to vote in the contest's poll -- voting closes at midnight, June 6th.
And make sure to allow notifications from the contest group and/or follow Dirty Little Secret to get the full results and the awards show post on June 9th!
------ Review ------
Please keep in mind, I know I can be overly critical and negative at times. I can always find something to nitpick, even in the greatest works of literature ever written. Please don't take it personally!
-Note: I'm completely ignorant of any references in this story, sorry. (And I may be having fun being snarky in the grammar comments. Hopefully you can forgive me for that bit of entertainment.)
-Some pretty decent emotion in this story.
-Felt like it might be toying with suicide imagery. Might not really be earned if true.
-You matched the section breaks this time!
-
The two mares were laying in Rainbow's bed.-- lying.-
her friends chest-- you know, the chest where she keeps all her friends.-
break apart to breath.-- e.-
stoppinh-- somethinh is wrong with this, but I'm not sure what.-
Fluttershy's face, smearing her dampness all over her face-- several instances of repetitiveness like this.-
.-- whole paragraph that's just a period? Bold choice. Very avant-garde and minimalist.-
The mares whole body-- sadly, not even a fraction of her apostrophe, though.-Fluttershy eating out Rainbow was very short.
-The introduction to sex between the two of them seemed a bit too straightforward.
-A bit too on the nose about what they want from each other.
-Overall pretty good pacing on this one.
------ Scores ------
To clarify what these scores mean, check my judging rubric.
Cloppability: 89/100
Allure: 70/100
Enticement: 60/100
Immersion: 87/100
Prose Quality: 78/100
Total Score: 384/500
The more specialized scores for individual prizes, as well as the results of the community poll, will be published when the full results are announced. If this story wins any awards, there will be another post in the story comments sometime after June 9th announcing that this story has won.
Thank you for participating, and thank you for contributing to Fimfic's collection of clop!
10250688
That's fair, it's what I get for calling you out on a typo earlier. At least I'm not suddenly getting zeros in every category for doing that.
10250719
I would never!
10250726
Good, because I'm still hoping to win the 'Fresh & Perky' prize, and I'd hate to be taken out of the running for doing something pedantic like pointing out that the description for that prize should say "fewer than" instead of "less than".
10251210
Okay, Stannis.