Epilogue: Nightmare Night
"Celly, I really don't think this is a good-"
"Shut up."
At first it had been touching that Rawsthorne was concerned for her, but it went on and on and Celestia was fed up with it. She knew her capabilities, how strong she was. She had told him it was okay. He obviously had a problem with listening to her. Or maybe with believing her.
Celestia pierced him with the coldest stare she could use on her lover. "Get on."
His arms twitched, as if he was about to raise them, but Rawsthorne took one look at her expression and shut his mouth. Then he moved the chair closer, just like she'd asked, and stepped on it. She positioned herself just perfectly and braced her legs to accept the weight.
"Are you-" he tried, the last-ditch effort which she quickly snubbed.
"YES!"
There were a few seconds of silence, then Rawsthorne's leg came over her back. Even now he was trying to spare her and didn't settle his rump fully on her. The sneaky human was using the chair to keep his weight mostly off her. Celestia rolled her eyes and flared a brief burst of magic to knock the offending piece of furniture from under Rawsthorne. As she had predicted he nearly fell, but she steadied him with simple levitation. He really was heavy. It was a strain to hold him, but the mare persevered. She had told Rawsthorne she could carry him and she wasn't about to go back on her word.
"But your wings-" the man opened his mouth.
"Not here. Changeling magic, remember? Like the time with my horn." She turned her head to check that Rawsthorne was sitting well. "Lean forward. Grip with your legs."
Celestia wasn't at all sure if the instructions she had given Rawsthorne were any good, but she was the Princess and had to sound authoritative, even on matters she didn't know anything about. Earth horses carried humans on their backs, that was about the extent of her knowledge. Oh, and they used saddles, but she didn't need one. Not for this. The mare tried a hesitant step forward. It took some balancing and she nearly tipped the human over, but she recovered in time. Another hoof, and another. It was getting slightly easier.
"Are you okay? I should get down. I'm gonna get down," Rawsthorne said and was already sliding to the side.
She growled at him through gritted teeth. "Keep still! We're done when I say we're done!"
That put him back in his place and Celestia concentrated on her legs again. It wasn't too hard, though she was quite unaccustomed to the burden. She could manage. Yes, how could she call herself 'alicorn' and not manage? She set her jaw and walked a few more paces. They were a little easier because of the practice. She'd have to work hard, but it would be worth it. Just to see the expressions on all those high-society ponies when she trotted past them with a rider.
It would be a scandal!
She grinned to herself. "Okay, I think that's enough for today." The occasion was still a week off, so she had time to practice some more. "We'll try again tonight. Is your costume ready?"
Possibly Rawsthorne was even more grateful to get off her than she was to have him off. He quickly came around to look at her face. "You okay?" he asked.
She was breathing heavily, but proud. Smiling. "Yes. I only have to manage the length of the hallway, remember?"
He looked doubtful, but it seemed Rawsthorne didn't want to argue anymore. Instead he glanced around at the bed, where gray cloth was spread out. "I think it's all there. The robe, the staff, the hat. By the way, how did you get an exact replica made?"
She went to inspect it all again. Whomever Mr. Bennett had found, they did a superb job with the costume. It had to be a human tailor, because this would be a surprise to all her subjects. She did not trust any pony not to blab. Not about something like this.
"Put it on."
The man shrugged and then obediently pulled the robe around his shoulders. He placed the pointy hat on his head and gripped the staff. Celestia examined the result with a critical eye.
"Good, but you will not wear other clothes underneath. They are showing at the collar and wrists."
Rawsthorne rolled his eyes a little, but nodded in acquiescence. "Fine. How about you? The rainbow mane doesn't fit."
She smiled at him and said: "I will adapt the change spell. For now, it only removes my wings so we can try riding. The real spell will also make my mane and tail white."
Rawsthorne's brow furrowed as he tried to imagine it. "Cute. And you're already white, so that works perfectly."
Sudden excitement overtook her and Celestia hugged the man. "It will be the best Nightmare Night masked gala ever!"
Rawsthorne returned the embrace in kind and planted a kiss on her muzzle. He had been instantly on board with her idea, it was only the riding which was giving him trouble.
"Oh, that reminds me. Your fake beard arrives tomorrow. I made sure the package will be delivered to you unopened."
The man grinned and shook his head in wonder. "I still don't know where you've come up with 'Gandalf and Shadowfax'. That was a stallion, you know that, right?"
Celestia stuck her tongue at the human before answering. "I can change the story a little! I actually liked the movie, once I got past all the killing and evil. It was touching."
His hand found her ear and scratched there. Celestia didn't know how, but Rawsthorne seemed to be getting even better at ear-scratchies! She closed her eyes and sighed in comfort. An idea occurred, which made her smile widen. "You know, I still have thirty minutes before the court. Remove your pants."
She didn't have to ask twice. Rawsthorne began shrugging out of his robe, but she placed a hoof on his shoulder to stop him. "No, leave the robe. I haven't had a human wizard, yet." She winked at the man, but then had to giggle when she saw his expression. It was so easy to make his face go completely red.
As she had predicted, when the time came Rawsthorne's nerves gave out. They were in her room but it didn't look as if they would be leaving it for some time.
"Do relax, Rawsthorne." Celestia tried to calm him. "The ponies have come to like and respect you. They will understand it is merely a part of the disguise."
He paced to the door, turned and came back. He had been doing it for a while. Celestia checked to see if there was a groove in the floor. "Yeah, but think how it will look! I'll be riding you. I know they know - about us - but I don't want to rub it right in their faces!"
When next he came back, the mare caught him with a careful wing around his shoulders. "You did not have issue with this when I proposed the idea to you."
He didn't have an answer for that. After she had first told him her plan, Rawsthorne had agreed. He even grinned when she explained just how many feathers the sight of them - rider and mare - would ruffle. It was probably stage fright. After all, most of the Canterlot elite would be watching them.
The human needed reassuring.
Celestia pulled him close and nuzzled his neck. "Trust me. I know my subjects. They will understand it is a costume only. Those who matter, anyway."
It didn't seem to work. "Yes, but those will be royalty and nobles and influentials. I'm worried what this might do to your image, Celestia!"
She let him go and leaned her head to the side. "My image?"
"Yeah, what will they think of you? It might look like a symbol that you've surrendered to the humans!"
"I have surrendered to one human."
They both blushed a little at that, but Rawsthorne got over it first. "That's not the point."
She understood very well what her human was trying to say. The mare sighed and sat on her haunches. "I understand you, Greg, but I have often complained that I wish I could indulge in some whimsy from time to time, in public. This is a step toward that."
He looked like he needed more reassuring, so she hugged him again. That usually helped. "Do not worry, I know these ponies. They will understand." She paused for a moment to think about just how much she had lied. "Eventually they will understand," she admitted.
Rawsthorne sighed. "Fine. Okay. I guess you're right. Let's just get it over with."
The mare smiled at her small victory. "Good. Get changed. I shall do the same." She kept looking as Rawsthorne removed nearly all his clothes and pulled on the wizard's gray robe and hat. It wasn't too complicated and he did not need makeup, at least.
"Now the beard." She hadn't gotten the idea soon enough for Rawsthorne to grow a real beard - how long did that even take for humans? She'd have to ask. Meanwhile there was the prop Mr. Bennett had acquired for her. Gandalf in the movie had gray hair also, but Celestia didn't press for Rawsthorne to wear a wig. The hat would cover it, anyhow.
Rawsthorne turned away while he fitted the beard to his face and Celestia tried to steal a glance around his shoulder.
She didn't like it. "Oh, that is really bad." The wires which attached it to his ears were visible and the hairs were far too thick. It wouldn't do.
"What now?"
The Princess searched her memory. "I think I know a spell. Stay still."
Rawsthorne was no longer squeamish about letting her use magic on him, but he was still a bit wary. She concentrated and used a very light illusion. Simple, but effective.
"Better."
He touched it, searching for the wire with his fingers but not finding it, while the mare floated a small mirror to show him. It was a proper wizarding beard and she had also changed the color of his hair while she was at it. If he could get a bit more wrinkled, Rawsthorne would be a spitting image of Gandalf from the movie.
Now that the transformation was complete, she couldn't help teasing him just a little. "My, what a handsome wizard you make! Very distinguished, certainly worthy of a steed like me!"
At least he didn't blush at simple compliments and jokes anymore, Celestia thought.
"Okay, what about you?" he asked.
It was the work of a moment to cast the spell and change herself into a pretty good image of Shadowfax. If he were a mare, that is. Celestia had nailed down a very good likeness, if she did say so herself. The mane was cropped shorter than hers, her muzzle was darker and her tail stopped waving in the ethereal wind. Her chosen character fit, too. In the movie, Shadowfax was called 'the lord of all horses'. Well, she didn't think of herself as 'Queen', but it was pretty accurate if you replaced 'horse' with 'pony'.
"Good. We are ready. Come on." She ushered the man out of her room and turned to the grand hall. The door was open and groups of ponies stood here and there, talking quietly. Inside, she could spot a few of Canterlot's finest already mingling. She was pleased to see that no costume could match hers, a fact which made Celestia smile proudly. Poor, boring aristocrats, all they could think of was Equestrian history. The more imaginative among them had dressed as famous griffins and there was even one dragon, drawing admiring glances for the detailed scales embroidered on the costume.
"Come on, mount up!" She had made Rawsthorne practice, so he could climb on her back without the chair. That would looked undignified, she had thought. Still, the human hesitated.
"Go on!"
Ponies were already looking at them. A few muzzles scrunched up in confusion, but then they recognized her and their eyes widened. There were one or two gasps and the conversation gradually died down.
Celestia smiled at her subjects while Rawsthorne smoothly jumped and sat on her back, aided only a little with her magic. The shock on their faces was priceless! Celestia walked carefully at first, but then relaxed. Rawsthorne was still heavy, but she knew she could carry him at least the length of the hall.
As she entered, all the ponies quietened and a hush spread over the staring crowd. A few moments later the musicians failed and joined in the group shock. Rawsthorne was the center of attention and seemed to be having serious stage fright. She turned her head to look at him, smiled and whispered: "Just like we practiced!"
"Oh! Yes!" He cleared his throat and delivered the line, only slightly shakily: "Look to my coming on the first light of the fifth day. At dawn look to the east!"
The ponies glanced at one another and a few murmured questions to their friends. Of course they wouldn't understand the reference, but Celestia had insisted on doing it correctly. She sought out the other humans in the crowd. They, at least, should understand her costume and, with luck, would spread the word around.
Making her way to the ambassador and his assistant, Celestia smiled pleasantly at both while the party resumed around her. Ponies were still staring at her, but the music picked up again and the staff began to rush with their trays of drinks.
"Mr. Bennett. Eli Grant," she greeted.
The ambassador, who had a simple, black mask over her eyes, glared at her rider. "You're not even being subtle anymore, Rawsthorne, are you?"
Celestia answered instead, before there could be another argument. "The costumes were my idea, Mr. Bennett. They are quite authentic, aren't they?"
He had to give her that. "Yeah, but I mean-"
"Thank you."
At least the diplomat knew when he was being snubbed. He shrugged to himself and went to search for more food while Celestia posed a little for Eli Grant's inquisitive stare.
"It's good. Magic?" the younger human asked while Rawsthorne dismounted. Their act was done and Celestia couldn't help but be a tiny bit grateful that the weight was off her back.
She thought about how to answer Eli's question, but she didn't want to get into details about changeling spells, so she just nodded. "A simple illusion."
"Very good. Yeah, just like in the movie," Eli said and the mare beamed at his praise. His own costume looked very detailed, too. He had a wide-rimmed hat and some sort of leather jacket with bits of string dangling from his shoulders. He had a red scarf around his neck and blue pants.
"Your costume isn't bad either. Cowboy, correct?" Following his questioning gaze, the mare grinned knowingly. "I have seen a few Earth movies, Eli Grant. I know what cowboys look like."
He returned her smile. "Yes, I've spent a few summers on my uncle's ranch, down in Texas. If you want, I'll show you a few rope tricks."
"Oh, that would be delightful!"
"Here, let me grab my rope," the man said and rushed off to one of the tables. There was a backpack stashed under it and Eli brought out a long, thick piece of rope. A few of the nearby ponies noticed something was up and quickly gathered in a circle, eager for some entertainment. In particular, Celestia noticed, Twilight Sparkle's friend, Applejack, was paying very close attention to what the human was doing.
He strode into the circle of expectant faces and unwound the rope. "Now, I'm a bit rusty so don't laugh too hard, okay?" he said with a friendly grin. A few of the ponies giggled. Without any stalling, Eli made a loop of rope and tossed it out. He twiddled the bit in his hand somehow and the loop turned nearly horizontally in the air. While it spun, he moved it up and down, then tilted it sideways. A few of the more impressionable mares 'ooh-ed' and 'aah-ed', but Celestia was watching Applejack, who didn't seem too impressed just yet.
Eli, concentrating furiously, pulled the loop toward him and jumped, so he could pass through it. That earned him a few clops of applause, especially when he did it a few more times in rapid succession. The effect was only slightly spoiled when he misjudged his last jump and got his legs tangled in the rope. He didn't fall, but the mishap made a few of the observers laugh. Even Celestia herself giggled a little.
The young diplomat rallied well and launched into more tricks, but Celestia stopped paying attention. She sidled up to Twilight Sparkle, instead. "Have you seen Princess Luna?"
The purple mare shoot her head. "Sorry. I don't think she's here yet. I wonder what her costume would be!" Twilight herself was wearing her trademark Star Swirl costume, along with the obviously fake beard. Celestia felt a touch of pride that she had done a better job with Rawsthorne.
"Oh, by the way, Gregory is dressed as one of Earth's prominent wizards," she hinted, barely hiding a mischievous smile. Rawsthorne gave her a blank look, but she winked at him and he nodded, almost imperceptibly.
The news got Twilight instantly excited and she pulled the human to a quiet corner, probably to bombard him with questions. Celestia suppressed a giggle, looking forward to the funny story that would undoubtedly ensue. Meanwhile Eli Grant was finishing with his routine, much admired by the large crowd which had gathered to watch him.
Applejack shrugged and looked up at Celestia. "Pretty good, although he did fumble that jump. Ah reckon it's the best he can do with them fingers."
The Princess just nodded distractedly. She was increasingly curious about Luna's absence. She considered going to her room and seeing what had delayed her, but decided against it. There was a group of aristocrats nearby who were looking at her pointedly and Celestia headed over to greet them. It wasn't as formal an affair as the Grand Galloping Gala, but it paid to maintain these social bonds, especially with powerful ponies.
Celestia became aware that something was wrong when the din of conversation around her faded. The instruments failed again, the second time that night. When she looked around, her blood ran cold.
Nightmare Moon.
A glass smashed as the unicorn holding it fumbled his grip. There were a few gasps in the crowd when the tall, impossibly black creature walked forward. Even her gait was different. Nightmare Moon walked more smoothly, almost sinuously. She was self-possessed and confident. A slight smirk played on her muzzle, displaying her fangs. They looked sharp.
Surely it was a joke!
Celestia left Twilight and her friends staring in shock and put herself in Nightmare Moon's path. "This is in very poor taste, Sister."
The blast of magic that threw her aside came from nowhere. It broke her concentration and the disguise spell vanished, leaving Celestia her old self.
That was not Princess Luna! Nightmare Moon was back! Even as chilly realization made her blood run cold, Celestia was already jumping to her hooves to attack the creature.
She hesitated. "Luna, please don't do this. Not again!"
"Silence!" the shadow roared, her concentration breaking for just a moment. "Do not call me that!"
The guests were pushing out the hall as fast as they could, trying to make as little noise as possible so as not to draw attention to themselves. Several mares were whimpering and there were screams of panic coming from outside as the fleeing ponies lost their nerve. The two alicorns stood in the middle of a rapidly widening circle, staring at each other, weighing up their opponent.
"Why?"
"You did not think I watched you?!" Nightmare Moon demanded. "How easily you put everything in order after my blunders? How they all laughed at me!" Her eyes swept across the room, causing a stir in those ponies who were too brave, or stupid to run. "Again I am pushed into your shadow! Again you are the favorite, the beloved of the people, the powerful!"
"It's not like that! We were doing it together!" Celestia cried desperately. "Please, Luna."
The blast would have thrown her against the wall again, but Celestia blocked it just in time.
"DO NOT CALL ME THAT!" Nightmare Moon roared, enraged beyond reason. She seemed to calm down in an instant, however, and sneered again. "I should have done this a long time ago, Sister. I will never be free of your presumption until you are dead!"
Celestia was about to argue some more. She did not want to hurt Luna, nor banish her again. In fact, she could not do that without the Elements. Twilight was there and so were her friends, but not all of them. Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy were someplace else!
She had to get everypony to safety. If they dueled, the castle would likely be destroyed in the crossfire. "Twilight, take everyone outside. Protect them." She cast a meaningful glance at Rawsthorne, who was staring, open-mouthed at the apparition.
Unfortunately, Nightmare Moon followed her gaze. "Ah, and that too!" she growled. "You flaunt your human before me. You cry out each night with him. You smugly rub him in my face!"
"Luna, that's foolishness! Besides, you have Eli Grant!"
The nightmare mare spat in derision. "Pathetic!" she yelled. "I want the best, and you will not stand in my way!" Luckily she did not take offense at being called 'Luna' again, Celestia thought. It had slipped from her tongue out of habit.
"Please, be reasonable. We can talk about everything." Her voice was pleading, which just made Nightmare Moon laugh harder.
"I am done talking," she shrieked and spread her wings.
Celestia prepared for an attack, but instead the creature turned to shadow, wrapped itself around Rawsthorne and vanished in a brilliant flash of white. Evil laughter and running hooves faded into distance.
"No! Greg!" Celestia would have run after them, but Twilight Sparkle stepped in her way.
"You can't Princess," the purple mare said urgently.
She would have pushed past her, but Twilight's friends joined her and made a wall of ponies. Rainbow Dash floated above them, ready to tackle Celestia, should she try to simply jump over them.
"Stop and listen, please!" her once-student begged.
Nightmare Moon was getting away, but Celestia forced herself to stillness. If Twilight felt it was necessary to stop her, then it was probably important. "Hurry!" she ordered.
"We'll go after her. We can't let you risk yourself, Princess. We are the Elements of Harmony, we can stop her."
Celestia pointed out a flaw. "You are not all here!"
"It will be enough, I'm sure of it," Twilight exclaimed. "The ponies are panicking, they need their leader."
It made no sense, but Celestia was befuddled and confused and hurt. She would not have thought possible that Luna would revert to Nightmare Moon. She hadn't seen any of the signs! It was her failure as a sister, as well as a leader, to have let that happen. Maybe it really was better to let Twilight take over before she fumbled it even more. The purple Princess was keeping a much cooler head, it seemed. Celestia decided to trust her.
"Please bring them back, both of them. Unharmed. She is still my sister. We can still save her!"
Eli Grant stepped up. "I'll go too," he declared.
Twilight Sparkle twirled around to argue. "No, Mr. Grant. It's far too dangerous, you should wait here."
The human leaned down and jabbed a finger at Twilight. "Hey, I don't understand what's going on here, but that's my Luna. I know I can talk to her!"
Twilight glanced at her friends, who shrugged. Then she sighed. "Fine, but please be careful!"
He patted the rope, which was now coiled over his shoulder and the group set off.
It had all been over so quickly. Celestia sat on her haunches and hung her head. It had gotten out of her hooves. She didn't understand how it was possible. The Elements should have completely destroyed Nightmare Moon's influence on Luna the last time they met. She should not have been able to creep back!
And yet there she was.
Celestia heard shouting outside as the guards tried to keep order. She took a deep breath and straightened up. Her ponies needed her. "Please bring them back safely," she said to the empty room.
The panic outbreak was contained. The result was better than Celestia had feared. A mare had sprained her ankle when she tried to run in pretty, but clumsy, hoofguards. A few other ponies got bruised in the shoving against the walls. No serious injuries, which was good, but there was a broken door and a few trampled flowerbeds.
Celestia paced up and down the throne room, wondering if she should have gone with the Elements after all. Then again, without her swift action and leadership, there might have been more injuries, perhaps even deaths. No, Twilight Sparkle had been right. Nightmare Moon didn't attack the city, so Celestia did far more good preventing the city from attacking itself. She just hoped they would catch her, unharmed.
The door opened and the Princess twirled around to see. Her heart stopped for a moment when she saw Nightmare Moon, but then she took in the whole scene and relaxed. The creature was trussed and gagged. Even from her distance, Celestia could hear it growling angrily. She wondered why Nightmare Moon didn't simply escape, but then spotted the ring on her horn. Twilight must have ran past the Royal Treasury and grabbed it. That was good thinking.
Only then did Celestia take in the group, afraid to see if any were missing. She almost sagged with relief when she noted they were all there, if a little battered. Rawsthorne was fine too, though his robe was torn in places and he had lost his hat and staff. The mare rushed forward to embrace him.
"Thank goodness you are okay! All of you!"
Applejack spat out the rope. Celestia realized they had simply dragged Nightmare Moon along the floor. True - it was no more than the thing deserved, but Luna was in there too!
"Mighty fine rope work, if ah do say so myself!" Applejack complimented and slapped a hoof on Eli's leg.
"You did this?"
"Eyup. Tossed the lasso right 'round her neck, first try, while Twilight here was keepin' her busy with some fancy magic!"
"Ahem," announced Rainbow Dash pointedly.
Twilight grinned. "Oh, of course we couldn't have done it without you, Rainbow. No way we could have found Nightmare Moon in time!"
They all high-hooved each other proudly.
Celestia wasn't quite as happy, though. The mere fact that Nightmare Moon had returned troubled her deeply. She had thought Luna was safe from her grasp! "Why, Sister? Why?" She was nearly in tears.
Eli went and untied the rope around the creature's head so he could remove her gag. Nightmare Moon just began to laugh, a deep, throaty, evil sound which sent a shiver down Celestia's spine. It went on and on. She thought about gagging her again, but then the laugh changed. The evil undertone vanished, the echo stopped and it sounded exactly like Luna. Nightmare Moon was briefly enveloped in a green glow and the next thing Celestia saw was her sister, standing up, ropes falling away from her. The ring from her horn was nowhere to be seen.
She tensed, ready to fight again, but the other ponies started to laugh, too. As did Eli Grant. Celestia hesitated. "W-Wha-"
"We got you!" Luna proclaimed. "We got everypony!" She and Eli high-hooved and embraced.
Celestia looked blankly at Rawsthorne, who seemed just as befuddled.
Twilight Sparkle stepped up to explain. "It was all an act, Princess. We were all in on it."
It took a while for Celestia to process this. "ACT?!"
"A trick! It is funny!" Luna said, then roared with laughter again. "The look on your face, Sister! I shall treasure it always."
Celestia was furious. "Luna! Ponies could have gotten hurt! What were you thinking? You started a panic!"
The night-blue mare just shrugged. "It was worth it!"
At least Twilight Sparkle squirmed when Celestia pierced her with a glare. "You knew of this and went along?!"
The purple mare was examining the flagstones, her ears flat in contrition. "Yeah, I swear it sounded a lot funnier when Princess Luna first asked for my help..."
Celestia couldn't believe it. She snorted in annoyance and turned to stomp out, but her sister stepped in her way. "Lighten up, Sister," Luna said. "T'was a prank which will be remembered forever. Come, let us go and tell everypony."
That part, at least, Celestia agreed with. They had to tell everyone it had all been a joke. She sighed and hung her head. "Luna, sometimes you try me so..."
The younger alicorn just chuckled. "You said you wished more whimsy in your life."
Celestia just shook her head.
"Come on. Admit we fooled you. You really thought Nightmare Moon was back! T'was a good act," Luna insisted, a bit more quietly.
Again, the older sister was forced to agree. "Yes, you did." She could hardly imagine to what lengths Luna must have gone to plan this. The magic illusions themselves had seemed very complex. Not to mention Eli Grant's rope thing - how long had he practiced just for this? It certainly put her Gandalf and Shadowfax thing to shame.
Now that the fear was gone and the adrenaline was leaving her body, Celestia began to relax a little. It was still inexcusable, but masterfully executed nonetheless.
"If you ever pull something like that on me again, I will lock you up, Luna. And it will not just be the moon this time!"
The younger sister understood she was off the hook and giggled some more. Everypony cheered up.
"By the way, Mr. Grant," Rarity spoke up for the first time since the came back, "the way you tied up Princess Luna... have you two had much practice?"
The man blushed a vivid red and so did Luna.
'Aha!' Celestia thought. Perhaps a small payback. "Oh, most certainly, Rarity. Some of the things I hear from their room at night..."
The unicorn giggled a little, but Luna was quickly pushing them all along. "Come on, Sister. We have to speak to the ponies!" she urged. The others fell in step behind them, but Celestia heard Rarity sidle up to Eli and whisper something. The mare giggled a little and the human nearly choked on his tongue. She didn't hear his response, because Luna leaned closer and bumped her muzzle against her sister's neck. "I really am sorry for frightening you, Sister," the younger Princess said, "but I am not sorry for the prank. It was very funny."
Celestia couldn't stay mad. Nopony had gotten hurt, after all. Now that it was over, she could admire the mastery of her sister's deception. It had fooled her completely! Luna was scary good at acting it seemed!
Still, Celestia would get her revenge in due time. "I will get you back, just wait, Luna!"
Luna went on laughing.
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i can't say I like this as the last thing I'll read of this story. That's not a prank as much as it's just cruel.
:'v
Auch
10224366
Yeah, I was trying to get across how Luna is trying to loosen up a little, but gets it wrong.
Don't worry, though, I'm in the process of writing a proper sequel to this story, but it will be a bit until I've finished and edited it. In the meantime, I'll look through my other stuff for something I can post sooner (not the same 'universe', though).
10227096
Don't get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoyed this story. It was beyond cute and I really enjoyed the ride, it's just that last bit's tone felt way off.
10227168
Perfectly understandable and many thanks for telling me. I considered putting the epilogue in a separate story, but decided against creating a completely new story for ~2k words. It was written some time after the main part and for an entirely different occasion (Halloween special), so it's no wonder the tone is very different.
Well this was fun.
I can say this is one of my favourite fics.
I can say I really like how you did Romance. I think future is great for our Princesses, maybe with Human science and magic even issue of Mortality could be solved so it would" happy ever after till end of time"
This was a good story. I’m sad I finished it but glad I did as well and got to read such a nice twist of a story that wasn’t too dark like most ponies but n earth ones are.
Unfortunately with this being the ending of the story I must now go back to reading other stories that in comparison will largely seem mediocre.
Well done sir, very impressive.
10305167
Hey, sorry for a bit late reply (I'm in the process of moving apartments).
Aside from the character name change, I've done another pass at editing and I've cleaned the story up to what I felt was M-rated. Might not be perfect, but I was trying to avoid having to do 'Adult' on the very first story I posted here.
TBH, this is the first time anyone commented there should be a 'Sex' tag, so I'll keep it in mind and if anyone else agrees or comments about it, then I'll add it. Personally, I don't think it's warranted.
10381068
I wrote that comment when I wasn't completely finished with the story, so excuse me if I was being a bit of a cock, I didn't have the whole picture. Why did you feel the need to change any of it? I liked the sex scenes in the greentext version. They're sorta like a reward for sticking it through and reading the whole thing. I thought that this story is hella under-rated for what it is. Maybe leaving the sex scenes in would give people more incentive to read it? At the end of the day though it was still an enjoyable read. Only criticism from me would be that it drags on a bit at times.
10399910
You absolutely do not have to apologize! It is a valid opinion and I've taken in on board to think over. If presented appropriately, negative feedback is even more valuable than positive.
10170313
Well that's depressing. Was hoping to read this amazing story here on Fimfiction rather than Pastebin because Fimfiction has a nicer interface, but I guess I'm stuck on Pastebin then. WTF is with Americans and sex anyway? They act like it's some sort of dirty/terrible thing, yet have the most horrific violence in their films and video games and think that's normal. How can a supposed romantic relationship be better without sex? That's like saying that movies are better without sound.
10451704
Actually, I'm not American (though I agree with your assessment of the sex/violence dichotomy). To try and answer the question, I guess I just didn't feel too comfortable about my sex scenes and decided to omit them from my first ever post on fimfiction.
Sorry about that... the correct attitude would have been to post it and ask for feedback.
10452189
I'm having a hard time accepting that explanation. You've supposedly edited this entire story. The sex scenes make up less than 1% of it and you chose to just get rid of them instead of improving them along with the rest of the story. That was a conscious decision you made because you felt shame about the sex scenes, which is a very American attitude. It's depressing that I can't read the new and improved story because of an outdated Victorian attitude about sex. I'm sorry if this isn't the case, but that's what I'm understanding from what you've said so far in the comments.
I've already read your story on Pastebin and I agree that the thing needed another pass to improve grammar and prose, but to get rid of the icing on the cake - the actual reward/climax and a big part of the emotional connection was a huge mistake in my opinion. Here's to hoping you release a mature version of this story here on Fimfiction. There are a lot of users here that don't read non-clopfics, and had I not already read this on Pastebin and then decided to do a search for it on Fimfiction, I never would have read it. What a real shame that would have been because it's a good story, but without the sex scenes it's like eating cake without any icing/frosting.
10452323
That makes a lot of sense, actually. I think I agree with your reasoning, so thanks for pointing it out, even if it's not comfortable for me to read :)
When I get a bit of free time and can re-edit those scenes I'll see if I'm either permitted to change the story from T to M and add the missing scenes, or what the policy is on posting basically the same thing with added scenes and a different rating...
10452541
Sorry, I don't mean to make you feel uncomfortable, but I don't know how else to say it. There's absolutely nothing wrong with sex in stories. I hate that sites push sexual things into a "mature" area of the website like it's some sort of horrible thing that has to be hidden away, yet gore and violence is tolerated and not censored.
Plenty of authors publish both copies of their stories (a mature and non-mature version) on here. I wouldn't just edit this story if I were you. Publishing the mature version as a separate story will allow it to show up at the top of the clopfics section for a while so people will actually be able to find it. I think you'll get many more views and comments if you publish a new mature version of the story. I can't wait to read the new and improved version! I'll be checking back frequently to see when you publish it. I can't thank you enough. Reading this story for the first time was the most fun I'd had in a long, long time. It's in my top 5.
While certainly some of the topics covered made me uncomfortable, I loved the story anyways. A+, and I hope you continue to write more content!
10454392
Many thanks! I am not stopping anytime soon. If you don't mind the 'greentext' format common to 4chan there is a few more stories available, but I intend to rework, edit and publish most of them here as well, depending on free time.
10491154
Hey! I've been keeping up on my phone. Moving apartments at the moment, so no real time to reply), but I wanted to drop at least a line and say thanks! I had a few good chuckles at the comments.
Edit: Ooops!
Posted the comment in the wrong chapter...
10494026
That is actually exactly the scene which inspired that passage.
Rawsthorne: *smirks* "Are you calling me fat?"
: *smirks back* "Shut up!"
I'm sure there is a spell for that...
To be fair, she has a point.
And that's the end of the story!
Good work!
I enjoyed reading it.
10452541
I feel the need to point out I personally was completely okay with this version.
In fact, I believe it makes the story better than "another Anon clopfic" (at least I had heard thats what Rawsthorne was called in the original).
And if you want to make a story but are unsure about the clop part you can compromise by writing it as you did here, and move the clop into an separate, marked chapter.
But one thing I'm still wondering:
Did Celestia find out what happened to Lake Fronds sister, Seaspray?
(The one who joined the guard groups, but vanished.)
10519976
Thanks! I enjoyed the commentary a lot. It's sn amazing way to re-experience my own story from a new perspective.
I intentionally left out details about Seaspray for a possible sequel or a side story at some point. That said, the 'official' sequel is being finished in a month or so, after which I will start editing chapter by chapter and posting here.
Well, this certainly was an interesting 17 hours. I'll admit that I went in expecting something else... but I'm not complaining. Far from it, in fact - despite some of the issues being glaringly obvious from the start (enough that Celestia probably should have seen them coming), I will grant that they were required for the plot to function. As plot devices, they were actually rather tame and consistently relied on, so I shan't protest too loudly.
I did enjoy the characterisation and development. It was nice to see Celestia taste the "common life", even if her life ended up being anything but in the end. My only complaint here would be Luna - I honestly expected her to grow a bit more in her sister's absence. Otherwise, it was enjoyable to see the characters subtly change over the course of the story. It's nice that the change came about due to slight changes in character, and not simply circumstance.
The whole 'romance' thing kinda went off the rails there for a bit, but I guess it was unavoidable - and all within reason. Though maybe the whole "seen me at my worst" was a bit heavy-handed there? ;D Still, it was on the whole enjoyable.
Welcome to my Favourites. Solid piece of pone prose.
10818289
Plagiarize? That's not what I was trying to say at all! I only had a problem with how he cut the sex scenes and changed Anon's name when he imported the story to Fimfiction. I wasn't trying to say that he plagiarized anyone. As for the second thing: Pastebin decided to flag and remove many of the /mlp/ greentexts that had been archived there over the years a few months ago. Thankfully, you can still access these removed pastebins by replacing 'pastebin.com' in the URL with 'poneb.in' (for example https://pastebin.com/82rCVh4j is now https://poneb.in/82rCVh4j)
/mlp/ normally uses https://ponepaste.org/ to archive stories now, and you'll find AWF's stories here, including the sequel to this story, which hasn't been imported to Fimfiction yet. (AWF, if you're reading this, can you leave the sex scenes in the story this time around? Pretty please?)
10818941
Oh! That's nice, then!
Sorry, maybe I acted rashly, but I've seen all sorts of stuff in the comments on this site before, and I thought that maybe I should head that particular train off at the nearest crossing, you know? That's a load off my mind, because this story really is fun, and I'd hate to see it gone because of a misguided report at some point.
Thanks for providing the links, I'll be looking into them.
10818941
So.
First of all, thank you for providing the links. I went through "Something, at least" and then "Sequel to something" like I was a buzzsaw and the stories were tissue paper. It's pretty clear to me that they're not set in the same AU, which is a bit of a shame in the end, but it doesn't matter. They're fine stories as-is. They could use some editing before ending up on this site, but I would jump on the chance of adding them to my library here.
Also, I went through "Off Duty" in the original, and... while I do appreciate the smut, I don't think the story loses much without it. Yes, the private moments do add to the experience and I wouldn't have wanted them out in any case, but I personally find that the story isn't weaker without them. It might be a tad stronger, in fact, because it's a bit tighter on its focus that way.
Not to say that I'd get rid of 'em - either here, or in any future works. Some of the bits are cute.
As for "Something, at least"... well, that was a hard one to go through. I knew all of this was going on in the background of "Off Duty", but seeing it first-hand was... difficult. If that's the sort of world this AU is, it really gives weight to the fact that Celestia's little "vacation" idea was a low, low blow to every pony stuck on Earth. And there's a good chance she still doesn't really grasp the whole scope.
Speaking of Celestia, "Back On Duty" was interesting. A gentle reminder that Equestria has its own shit to work through, in these AUs. It was nice to see more shenanigans. But of course, it couldn't be all sunshine and rainbows, could it... Sometimes I don't even know who's got it worse - ponies enslaved by humans, or ponies enslaved by other ponies.
At any rate, thanks again for (probably finding and) sharing the links. I wish more of those stories could be put up here. Maybe in time, they will be. I assume "Something Halloween" happens after "Sequel to Something" (which I would tentatively propose be titled "Something more", perhaps, or "Something better"), but I'll never be sure until awf sets up the sequel/prequel ordering.
Well, regardless of anything, I'm... not sure if "happy" is the right word, because it certainly isn't that, but... I'm okay with knowing these stories exist, and having read them. They did add something to me. It's something, at least... ;]
10817940
There is one particular epilogue to this, you know?
10818289
Yeah, pastebin cracked down on "questionable" content a while back and a number of bins were nuked. I copied my stuff to "ponepaste" which was set up as a replacement. Look for "awf" there - you're right that it's short for "AspiringWritefag". (Can you tell where i began posting? :)
I've indeed toned down the M parts of the story and replaced the 'Anonymous' name, I guess in an attempt to make my first story here "fit" better. I think I'll keep the name change for Off Duty sequel, but I'll stick with Anon for others when I (eventually, I swear) transfer them over here.
10818941
All you say is correct. I promise to leave the lewds in the sequel and other stories.
10845701
Flutteryay!
Also, I want to reconvey how much I love this story. I’ve reread it about 3-4 times since I initially read it, and I really do love it more each time. AspiringWritefag more like InspiringWritefag, eh?
10964501
Thanks! You'll be happy to know I'm about 40% through editing one of my favorite recent stories. ETA is about a week and I'll probably post a chapter or two per day.
I'm including all the lewd scenes in that one.
So well done! I was a bit weirded out that Twi had no panic attack and acted so fast. Makes sense that it would be a prank :)
11031105
Thanks! It was a joy to write, so I don't mind :)
Besides, people keep discovering it in the archive and possibly more will when I pay more stuff.
11091558
*sigh* Nah, I was just really invested in the story, it goes to show how much I enjoyed it, nothing against your choices as an author, I was just really feeling an in-story anger for Luna after reading those parts. It just seemed so incomprehensible that she could be so naive after her thousand-year ordeal. I mean, almost all of her choices while Tia was gone could be boiled down to, "This annoys me personally, let me just get rid of it so I can bask in princessdom." She got better by the end, but by that token it was strange how readily she underwent a 180 in her attitude.
No personal slight intended, everyone's take on characters is different.
11448366
That is fair enough and it had been pointed out before. I understand what you mean and I agree it's not in character. Maybe one of these days I'll edit it into something more reasonable.
In either case, thanks for letting me know, all feedback and opinions are useful.
Good story overall, exposition was a bit lacking in my view, but it was quite entertaining.
I will never understand why to cut out part of the text from an already written story. As if the reader can't skip porn on his own.
Is there any reason to read from here, not from ponepaste? Better proofreading?
Full list of the original story, plus the sequel - "Back on duty"!
And yes, thank you so much for this story, AspiringWritefag! I had something to read for a whole week)
11729364
I agree (and you're not the first one to point out this particular scene). It was a mistake and poor characterization, no two ways about it. I guess I could kinda hand-wave that Celly was deeply influenced by the events she's seen, and they changed her somewhat, but it still doesn't fit.
11728824
My main reasoning was that I wanted my first story here to be as widely accessible as possible, so I trimmed the sex scenes from it. Other than that, it's the exact same story, with the added benefit of a fresh edit and whatever I'd learned in writing by then.
If it's any consolation, I'm preparing the sequel to Off Duty, and that one will have all the smut intact.