• Published 7th Apr 2020
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Off Duty - awf



After centuries of ruling Equestria without a single day off, Princess Celestia is driven to true desperation: selling herself into slavery as a vacation on Earth, the one place she can go without being recognized.

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Chapter 8

"Celestia, could you come in here for a moment?" Greg's voice rang out. The mare dropped her cutting knife and turned to leave the kitchen. Then, as an afterthought, she brought around her 'stylus' and lowered the heat under the large pot. If the human had a longer request, she didn't want it to boil over.

She made her way to the living room, where her owner was standing beside the couch and pressing a black rectangle to his face. The pony was about to ask, but remembered about 'pocket phones'. She hadn't seen one being used like that - Mr. Plain had usually just poked at his with fingers. So had Rawsthorne, the mare recalled.

This time she could hear a small, tinny voice coming from it. It was too quiet to understand what it was saying, but it sounded like a woman speaking. Rawsthorne was apparently having a conversation with a lady. Celestia waited patiently until he was done. She wondered why he had called her if he was obviously busy.

He held up a hand to her and took the phone away from his ear. "Ah, there you are. Listen, Christine is asking if she may visit today with her daughter. What do you think?"

The mare though over her tasks for the day. It was Sunday, so Rawsthorne had said she should rest a little. Difficult to do - there was still the mystery of the washing machine to discover, plus she had wanted to sort through the seeds they had bought for the flowerbeds.

Still, the pony had to admit, visiting with the friendly, nervous woman, did sound more fun.

"Should I make extra lunch for them?"

She had planned the stew for two people, but with a few more vegetables she could easily stretch it to four, especially if one was a filly. And there would be plenty of dessert, of course. She would see to that. The human put the phone back along his face. Celestia thought it looked rather silly, but she focused her ears forward and tried to catch what they were saying.

"Christine? Yes, I think today's fine. Just one thing: would you like to come over for lunch?" He waited while the woman on the other side jabbered. "No, it's fine," Rawsthorne said, "there's plenty for everyone. No problem at all!"

More jibber-jabber. Her owner nodded and flashed her a small grin as they waited. "Okay. Good, see you in a bit, then!" When he took the phone away it was with an air of finality. He touched it with a finger, then dropped it in his pocket. "That's all settled then. Two more for lunch, Celestia."

She gave the man a slight nod. "Very good, sir."

There didn't seem to be anything else on his mind, so she went back to the kitchen. Her mind was already racing. The main course wouldn't be a problem, but the dessert had to be re-invented. She had been planning on fruit bowls with ice cream, for the two of them. But she didn't have enough for four people. Luckily, she hadn't started on that yet.

Muffins! She decided quickly and began opening the now-familiar cupboards and drawers for everything she needed. It wasn't as fast, or easy, but it was a lot of fun. The mare hummed to herself as she arranged the plastic bowls on the counter. Behind her, the knife flew up again and resumed cutting up the carrots.


As soon as she opened the door for the neighbor and her daughter, Celestia understood why she had associated the filly with riding. Perhaps it had been a premonition, or maybe something in Christine's expression. But the young human squealed in delight and began begging almost immediately.

"YAAAY! A pony! Can I ride the pony, mom? Can I? Please! Pleasepleaseplease! I wanna ride the pony!"

The mother must have seen Celestia's ears fold back in surprise, because she quickly grabbed her daughter before she could jump at the mare. "Sorry! She's a bit excitable, sorry!" the lady explained.

The Princess caught herself quickly and gave them a bright smile. "Welcome. Please, come in." Her only hope to avoid the clutches of the little human was to fully assume the 'professional help' role. Maybe if she was a bit upstuck and cold, the filly would forget her wish. Unlikely, but after that first impression, Celestia was willing to try anything.

"Master Rawsthorne is in the living room. If you would step this way? Lunch will be served in ten minutes in the dining room."

The woman glanced from her, to the furnishings, then back to the mare. She was quite impressed, Celestia noted smugly. Unfortunately, it didn't work on the smaller human, who kept clamoring for a pony ride.

Christine gave her a weak grin. "It wouldn't be too much bother, would it?" she asked. "She's had her heart set on a pony ride ever since I told her we were coming."

The mare held her panic back. This was nothing like pony children, who were quite respectful to the Royal Sisters, even when young. Nothing in her many years had prepared her for someone like this! There was only one force in the world which could protect her!

"I will have to ask Master. This way, please!"

Celestia didn't flee, but that was only because she made her steps slow and deliberate. In her heart and mind, she was galloping away as hard as she could. Riding her?! It was unthinkable. And the way the human filly flailed about, she would undoubtedly kick her flanks. The mare could just imagine Gregory having such a laugh out of the whole ordeal. She would never live it down! Her only hope was to throw herself on her owner's mercy. She finished the small walk to the living room, where Rawsthorne got up and shook Christine's hand. Then he smiled down at the filly.

"Hi, Sally. My, you've gotten quite big, haven't you?" he asked. The child nodded enthusiastically and started explaining about 'notches' on a door frame.

Celestia waited for the man to glance at her, before she made her request. "If I could speak to you for a moment, Master Rawsthorne?"

It worked and he followed her out of the room. He raised his eyebrows at her. "Well?"

The mare took a breath and did her very best. Ears down, eyes big and shiny, head drooping just a little. Glance darting furtively around his face. Lip trembling a little. It was perfect! "Please do not make me carry the filly on my back." It was so wonderfully pathetic that it couldn't fail!

Rawsthorne just laughed. "Aw, are you afraid she's too heavy for you? I'm sure you can do it, just a few laps around the house, okay? We don't want to break a little girl's heart, do we?"

The pony was stunned. It should have worked! What power did the child have over her owner?! "But- I don't- I never..."

She fell silent when the man held up his hand. "Look, I will order you to do it, but I'd prefer it if I didn't have to. It was your idea, remember?" Her mouth opened and shut a few times, but Rawsthorne wasn't done yet. "Here's some free advice: It's happening, just accept it. It will be easier if you don't make such a big deal out of it, understand?"

What else could she do but nod? So she bobbed her head.

The human seemed pleased. "Go on, talk to her a little. Get to know her. She's a good kid. I'm sure you'll like her."

Another quiet nod.

"Lunch is ready?"

Finally she found her voice. "The stew is cooling. I just have to take the pot to the dining room. The table is already set. And the muffins will be done in five minutes."

The human laid a hand on her withers. "Okay, I got it. Go and talk with them a little. Get comfortable. I'll do those things and come get you when it's ready."

She almost argued, but then swallowed her complaint and acquiesced. Perhaps the human was right, Celestia thought tentatively. Maybe if she talked with the filly for a bit, it wouldn't be so bad.

Rawsthorne left for the kitchen and Celestia opened the door back into the living room. She took a deep breath, but didn't say anything. Christine was talking to the girl. "... be so pushy, sweetie. I know you have your heart set on a pony ride, but it's not your pony, so show some respect, okay?" The girl looked near tears. It occurred to the mare that Christine had spotted her reluctance and had probably guessed why she had wished to talk to Rawsthorne. She must have also assumed that her owner would side with his pony.

Seeing that heartbroken little face helped a lot. The mare walked forward and offered a small smile. This would be one of the harder things she had ever had to say and one of the toughest acts to sell in a lifetime of tough acts. "It seems Mr. Rawsthorne said yes. Little filly, if you can promise to behave, I will give you a pony ride."

The child whooped and went to hug her. Celestia lowered her head to make it possible. But then she spotted Christine out of the corner of her eye. The woman was holding back laughter.

When Celestia looked at the lady, she explained: "You said 'little filly'. We don't call our children that."

"I'm sorry. What should I call her, then?"

The child had let her neck go and was now playing with her mane. It wasn't as magical on Earth for some reason, but it was still quite pretty. The small hands poking and pulling were strange, but not painful, so Celestia ignored it.

"Usually, it's 'little girl', or 'little boy'. Sometimes 'child'," Christine explained. "Filly is a young horse or pony. You can see how it doesn't fit?"

That reminded her of Rawsthorne's correction in the car. "How about 'kid'?"

The woman nodded. "That works, too, yes."

"But kid means a young goat. You do not call your children 'young pony', but you do call them 'young goat'?"

The lady stared for a moment, then burst out laughing again. "That's right! Why didn't I ever think of that? It's appropriate, sometimes! You're a little goat sometimes, Sally, aren't you?"

The girl just stuck her tongue out, but then laughed. It was endearing and Celestia warmed up a little to the child. She turned her head to see what the fi- girl was doing. It seemed she was engrossed by her flank now. "Pony? Why do you have a picture on your butt?"

The mare bit back a chortle. She turned a little to face the child better. "My name is Celestia. It's nice to meet you, Sally. And that is called a 'cutie mark'. It shows you what a pony is good at, or what she likes."

The little human frowned in concentration. "So, you like the sun?"

"Very much, yes."

She went back to her exploration and Celestia looked at the mother.

"You don't deal with kids a lot, do you?" the woman guessed.

"Not as much as, perhaps, I should." It was easy to admit. Undoubtedly there were pony children just as enthusiastic and energetic as this. Perhaps if she met some outside of her political functions, Celestia would have known how to handle it. As it was, she just sat woodenly as the girl poked at her wings.

Luckily, her mother seemed to have it all in hoo- hand. "Is she hurting you doing that?" the lady asked with a touch of concern.

"No, it's quite alright."

To show herself willing, the alicorn opened her wings a little so Sally could take a better look. Of course she immediately went to poke her finger between the feathers. And then she grasped and pulled. It made the mare wince a little.

Christine quickly stepped in and pulled the little hand away. "Not so rough, Sally. If you hurt Celestia you won't get your ride, okay?"

The girl was immediately sorry. She looked at the mare with an earnest expression. "Sorry, pony! I didn't mean to hurt you!"

Perhaps, Celestia thought, a small lesson was in order? "It's okay, Sally. Just remember - you should never touch a pony's wings without permission, okay?"

The child nodded.

She was saved by her owner, who came in, proclaimed the lunch ready and led them to the dining room. Luckily, the girl still needed occasional help eating, so she sat right next to her mother, on the opposite side of the table from Celestia. At least this way she could enjoy the food without little, probing fingers. The upside of their company was that her cooking earned a lot more praise. Christine simply couldn't stop going on and on about how delicious everything was and how perfectly it was cooked. The mare beamed happily. She couldn't wait for them to try the muffins, which were cooling on a plate in the middle. She saw little Sally eyeing them with a great deal of interest.

At long last the main course was done. Celestia helpfully levitated the dishes away and out of the room, then brought one muffin before each of them.

It looked like Rawsthorne would skip out. He pushed his away with a polite refusal. Luckily Christine tried one, exclaimed in pleasure and urged the man to have one: "Dear God, Rawsthorne, you have to try this. And you-" she pointed at Celestia with half of a muffin, "have got to give me the recipe!"

The pony beamed happily. She knew she was good. But it was still nice to have it confirmed. "Of course, Christine. I will write it down for you."

The lady gaped. "You can write, too?"

Celestia decided the woman probably wasn't rude on purpose. It all just stemmed from ignorance. "I can write perfectly! In fact, later today I will assist Rawsthorne with a few details of his work."

The man made a noncommittal noise. He had tried his dessert, Celestia noted approvingly, and he was surreptitiously finishing it, too.

Christine was quite impressed. "Well, I must say, Rawsthorne. You've really lucked out on this one. She's an absolute gem!"

It was getting a bit too praise-y even for Celestia. To her dismay, she saw only one way out of the situation. One she wasn't eager to bring up. She looked at the beaming, radiant face of the child. Then to the happy and expectant Christine. And finally, to the approving Rawsthorne. There was nothing else to do, but accept her fate with as much dignity as she could muster.

"Sally, would you like your pony ride now?"

The response was very enthusiastic. Almost before she knew what was happening, they were all in the back yard. The girl was jumping up and down in excitement.

The mare looked at Christine. "Help her up, please?"

She spread her stance a little as Sally was lifted to her back. The little human was a little unsteady, but then she just gripped her mane with both hands. Celestia waited patiently, until they both got used to each other. At least the child wasn't too heavy. The pony quickly got used to the extra weight. She noted approvingly how Sally had hugged her barrel with her legs just forward of her wings.

It took the human a short while to get a feel for the balance, but she quickly learned not to fight Celestia's little movements.

The mare remembered that humans balanced on two feet their entire life. It must come naturally to them, she supposed. "Good. Please hold her hand. We will take a few steps."

Up until now Christine had kept a grip on her daughter to help steady her. She shifted it so they only held hands. To her credit, now that she was on her, the human filly was very well behaved. She was still and calm. It wasn't too difficult to carry her. She didn't even kick!

Celestia took a few slow steps. Luckily, Sally could rely on her mother to keep her upright, otherwise she would surely have fallen. Her free hand was still gripping her mane tightly, but it wouldn't have been enough.

After the length of their backyard, the girl became more confident. The mare was pleased to see that the human didn't sit stiffly, but moved fluidly. Against her at first, sure, but more and more in sync as they walked. She had been worried that carrying the human would be like having a top-heavy block of wood on her back. But by the time they came back, her mother barely had to hold Sally's hand.

"Everything okay?"

The child nodded, but realized that the alicorn didn't see her. "Yes! I love you, pony!"

Her joy was a little infectious. She could probably have called it after their second trek down the backyard, but Celestia found herself feeling charitable. "Would you like to go around the house?"

The filly - child, Celestia reminded herself - looked up to her mother. "Can I, Mom? Please!"

The woman was slightly uneasy. She went around to look at Celestia. "Are you sure it's okay? She's not too heavy, is she?"

"Not at all. I will make sure she doesn't fall."

Assent was given, much to the girl's delight. She was quite sure of herself on the pony by now and bounced a little to try and get her going. "Giddyup!" she yelled.

Despite her urging, Celestia still took it slow. She picked her steps with care, to keep the human as level as possible. She walked slowly and kept the ride quite smooth. The change form grass to the hard road surface in front of the house was a bit jarring. Sally would have fallen off, but Celestia had been ready and quickly steadied her with a bit of gentle magic.

"You're doing fine. Relax and follow my steps."

"Okay!"

The rest of the trip was easier and soon they were back with Christine and Rawsthorne. She wasn't heavy, but it was still a relief to get the burden off her back. The pony breathed out a sigh, but it was cut short when the child threw her arms around her neck and began kissing her.

"Thank you!" she squealed. "Thankyouthankyouthankyou!"

It was easy to be magnanimous now that it was over. "You're quite welcome, Sally." Of course she had to promise to repeat the experience. And there was more kissing and hugging and excited babbling, but eventually it ended.

She watched the car pull back and drive away, with the little girl waving the entire time they were in sight. Only then did Celestia look at Rawsthorne's face. It was a smirk, just as she had feared. "Giddyup," he said quietly.

"This horn is very sharp, Master Gregory. I urge you to consider this little fact while thinking up what to say next."

He reached over, entirely without fear, and ruffled her mane. Or rather, Celestia thought, un-ruffled it a little after the enthusiastic child. "Now I really think I should buy you a saddle. Something nice and lacy."

"Careful!" She almost growled it. Okay, so the whole experience hadn't been quite that bad. Perhaps she had also smiled at the girl's enthusiasm and joy. Maybe it wasn't as demeaning as she had originally feared.

That still didn't give the smug human any right to poke fun at her!

"Nah, you're a sweetheart," the human had the audacity to say, even when proof to the contrary was right before him. "You did well, by the way. How about a little work to take your mind off that horrible subjugation?"

The mare remembered her promise to look at his documents. It sounded better than listening to the human making puns and jokes about riding and horses! "Yes, please!"

She followed him in the house and up the stairs to his study.


"Coffee?" Rawsthorne offered. He placed a cup on the table and suddenly Celestia could smell the very welcome aroma.

"Mmm, thank you. Yes." She didn't lift her eyes from the book, but she felt the couch give a little as the human sat beside her. "Any luck?" he asked as he looked at the page she was reading.

"I'm done with the first one. This one is a bit more convoluted. It is taking time." The mare became aware that it was getting dark outside. Thanks to the little desk lamp Rawsthorne had brought her, she hadn't even noticed. "Oh! Your dinner! I'm sorry, I'll get right-"

The book rose, but the human pushed it back down. "No rush. In fact, this is more valuable. I'll make sandwiches."

She watched him doubtfully, but she settled back down and released the book. "If you're sure..."

The human had already put it out of his mind. He searched her face. "Interesting way of doing it. Tricky. I'll be impressed if it works."

The mare smiled. It was tiring, but she was out to make a good impression. "Why? It's simple, really. I will study the law books you've given me. Then I will carefully read the contract, with the knowledge of what is legal and what isn't. Voila."

"Yeah, but what you're saying basically," Rawsthorne went on to explain, "is that you'll memorize two different trade laws in a couple of hours, and then apply the knowledge to a very complex contract. You're bound to miss something."

"I shan't miss a thing, Rawsthorne. I've done this before. And the laws weren't nearly as clear and organized as these!" The mare suspected it was part of being an alicorn. Her memory had to be good, otherwise she'd be forgetting stuff all the time. She had seen, heard and read so many things over the years. They all had to go somewhere!

Now she would use that gift to really impress the human. Not that she needed it, the mare told herself, but a little extra leverage was always good. She caught herself and nearly bit her tongue. She was trying to assume control again!

The pony wondered when such things would stop. If ever. The reason she was really doing it, Celestia thought slowly and pointedly, was because her owner - her Master - had told her to. And it was her duty to follow the instruction to the best of her ability. There. If she repeated that a couple hundred times, maybe she would believe it.

The truth was that she was trying to show off. With a despairing mental sigh, the mare dragged herself back to the text. She didn't hear the human go. She hardly noticed when he came back. Something poked her face and she absentmindedly opened her mouth. It was pretty good, for a sandwich. A bit heavy on mayo and light on tomatoes, but thoroughly enjoyable. She lifted the coffee to wash it down, but after a single sip, Celestia grimaced, put the cup back down and added several more sugar cubes.

A brief stir, again without even looking, and she gulped it down.

"Would you mind if I watch the game? Otherwise I can clear the desk in the study for you," Rawsthorne asked from thousands of miles away. She barely registered the question and just nodded on general principles.

Even the TV couldn't break her concentration. However, the material was boring, and memorizing the strange requirements and rules was exhausting. She found her head drooping and her eyes watering. It was time for a break. The pony moved the book to the coffee table and stretched out her forelegs. A moment later, she also spread the wings as far as they would go. It was revitalizing. She looked at the screen with renewed interest.

"Break?" Rawsthorne asked.

"Break. Tell me about this game." She shuffled closer. When the human didn't move away, she did it again. It ended up with the pony basically leaning on her owner. He was delightfully warm. His explanation of the balls and points and pockets was like a lullaby. The boring game on the TV screen slid seamlessly into a dream of flying.


Celestia woke with a small start. She was still on the couch, but the human was gone and there was a blanket draped around her and a pillow under her head. It was dark and the alicorn wondered how late it was. She really would need to ask Rawsthorne for a clock. Earth's sun told her nothing! Her gaze landed on the book.

The book!

Celestia gasped a little when she remembered. She had finished all but the last chapter! She had intended to take a small break to rest her mind, then finish her task.

It was bad! She had promised Rawsthorne to be done with her little job by the evening! But she had been a little lazy in the morning, and then that whole thing with Christine and Sally! However light the little goat was, it had still been tiring. No wonder the mare had simply fallen asleep like that! Especially - the thought rose up unbidden - considering just how warm and soft the human skin had felt. And how boring the strange game of pond. No, pool, she corrected herself.

Something else bothered her. It took her a few moments to spot it. Little goat? The pony couldn't help chuckling at herself a little.

It was time to get back to work! Perhaps if she had the document ready when Rawsthorne went to work - along with a big breakfast, of course - he wouldn't be too mad about her laziness.

She flicked the lamp on and reached for the book again. At least this one thing worked in her favor. The knowledge she had absorbed earlier was still all there, neatly arrayed in her mind.

In some ways, it was good to be a Princess!


She barely registered the sounds of the human waking up. A faint feeling of pride rose up in her chest, but Celestia was too tired to acknowledge it. It had been a close thing indeed, but the document was done! She had circled the problematic bits with the red pen Rawsthorne had given her. And then she wrote down suggestions on how to change the terms to make it... 'compliant'. Yeah, that was the word the humans used.

That last thing wasn't what Rawsthorne had asked for, but she had done it just the same. Two distinct suggestions for every iffy part!

Then, at the end of it all, she had made breakfast! True, it was simple - hard boiled eggs and toast. A few pieces of fruit. Oh, and her signature pancakes, of course she hadn't forgotten!

There was a clock in the kitchen and the mare had timed it just right. It was five forty-five when she placed everything on the table and waited for the human to finish dressing and come down. He found her slumped on a chair, with her head on the table. Despite his later lies, she had not been snoring!

Whatever Rawsthorne imagined he saw, it helped put him in a lighter mood. Celestia was less nervous as she slid the papers forward. "Sorry it took this long. But I have finished. And there are also my recommendations on-"

As hard as she fought to avoid it, there was no stopping her yawn. It made the human laugh, but then wince in sympathy.

"-recommendations on how to fix the problems."

Rawsthorne picked up the sheaf and leafed through the papers. "This is quite impressive, Celestia," he said after reading a paragraph. Then he looked up. "But you didn't need to stay up all night doing it."

She struggled with another yawn. "... promised yesterday evening."

"Well, I am grateful, but you really didn't need to rush so much. Anytime during the week would have been fine."

She blinked in confusion. The human hadn't demanded the task be done by Sunday evening? She tried to remember him saying so, but she slowly realized he hadn't. It had been her promise, which the man never corrected. Well, she showed him anyway! Mocking her method like that!

She didn't see him move, but there was suddenly a warm hand on her head. "Go on, get some sleep, you crazy horse."

It sounded really good, actually. "... sounds nice."

"So move! Go on! Git!" the sharp words were like a crack of the whip. The commanding tone woke her up enough to stand up on shaky legs. She gave the human her final instructions.

"Try pancakes. 're good. Leave some for me. Bye."

She didn't wait to make sure and walked slowly to the stairs. For a moment she peered up, but then decided against it and turned to the living room. The blanket was still there and the couch was actually softer than her bed. Plus, she could fiddle with the tele-vision a little.
She didn't hear the human finish eating and leave.